Saving Moxie

Moxie’s Scene

I had spent much too much time trying to figure out how I should present myself to this party. I didn't know what kind of party Jamie went to these days. Was it some fancy dinner party surrounded by rich people from his childhood? His father had been a trust fund baby as well, so he knew plenty of influential people, but he was also an alcoholic so he tended to draw the wrong attention. Until he died, anyway. Now all people remembered was how great of a husband and father he had been to Jamie and his mom. No one liked to speak ill of the dead, but genuinely, Jamie's father seemed like a good guy.

I had invited Jen over to try and get the outfit and my unruly hair just right for any kind of party we went to. Jen had agreed that she didn't think Jamie hung out with any bad crowds of people, but she also was clear that she didn't think he would bring me to a ritzy party. I had originally been insulted by her words, assuming she meant that I wasn't good enough to bring to a party of high class, but I knew that she hadn't meant any malice in the statement. Anyone who knew me would tell you that I could never be comfortable at a high class party.

We had decided on a short black dress and heels coupled with a high bun that would tame my curls and keep the hair off my neck if I got sweaty dancing. I hadn't planned on puking tonight, but we both agreed that having my hair up had many advantages.

I regretted the heels now though, as Jamie tugged me through a house party that reminded me of a frat house that I used to sleep behind when Jack was peddling drugs to the college guys.

"Want a drink?" Jamie asked as we pushed further into the crowded house, holding my hand to keep me steady on the sticky carpet in my heels. I shook my head slowly and scanned the room for any familiar faces that could lead to trouble. "Not thirsty? Or just not feeling like partying?"

I sighed, shooting him a look that usually made people fear for their safety, but he smirked like it had the exact opposite affect on him. "I probably won't stay long." I said in a snippy tone. I was already starting to regret agreeing to come at all. I knew that my reputation told him that I enjoyed this scene, but the real me hated parties. I hated pretending to be drunk to keep people away from me and listening to theories of people who were too high to think straight. I hated cleaning up puke and I hated the smoke that clung to my clothes long after I left.

Hurt registered in his eyes, but was quickly renewed by a smile. I couldn't help but smile back as butterflies danced through my stomach.

"What's wrong?" He asked slowly, his eyebrows knit together as his arm snaked around my waist. "I thought this was your scene?"

I forced my nose not to wrinkle at the sight of discarded solo cups on the floor and the putrid smell of m*******a and vomit. "Yeah, I mean, it is." Not.

"Mox, you've been standing here glaring at everyone for the past five minutes."

"It's just not the kind of party I'm used to. Cheap beer and m*******a? I feel like I'm in high school again." I shrugged, though honestly my problem was not that this party was more laid back than the parties I was normally forced to attend - I hated all parties equally. Jack had always made sure to dress me up in skimpy outfits and bring me along with him as a 'double threat'. Not only was I just attractive enough to make men want to buy anything from me and want to climb into my bed, but I could also scare nearly anyone or break bones if I needed to. I always got Jack out of trouble when we were in a jam and always knew how to work the situation to tip the scales in our favor. Anywhere else, I was the hot drug dealer or the force to be reckoned with at time of payment. Here, I was just the town freak, the party girl, w*********h.

As he pulled me through the throng if people toward the kitchen, it dawned on me that this normally had never been Jamie's scene before.

This was a test.

While I was unsure what Jamie was testing me for, I knew that I had a reputation to uphold, especially if one of these bitches knew my dad or his buddies. And making Jamie disgusted with me would make it so much easier to leave when the time came.

There were two things I was great at: being the life of a party and being a hot mess. I had proved it time and time again in my life and I never failed. It would hurt like a b***h to push Jamie away now that we had gotten so close, but I knew if we continued this charade it would hurt even more later. I was the queen of self sabotage.

I made my way to the kitchen, nodding at the line of females waiting to use the restroom. The counter was full of cups full of mystery liquid, just mine for the taking. I took a red solo and tipped the liquid back and emptied the cup. The awful taste made me shiver a little and my stomach churn. I could never get used to cheap alcohol. Unfortunately, it wasn't a situation where I could pretend to be drunk. I would have to shoot for the goal here if Jamie was really to believe me. I knew he would protect me if anything got out of hand, but I needed him to see a picture of me that he expected - that he was hoping to see.

"What are you doing?"

I shrugged and faked innocence as I took another large gulp of my drink, hating the burning as it slid down my throat. I loved the way his hair fell in his eyes as he ran his fingers through it with disappointment.

"I warmed up to the party. I thought this is what you wanted?"

He scowled at me as I took another large drink of the liquor in my cup. My head was already feeling a little fuzzy from my lack of tolerance from not drinking in the past few months. For a moment, I registered that I normally didn't get buzzed off of this little to drink, but I pushed the thought out of my mind quickly and turned to lean against the counter behind me.

"Besides, I'm obviously not driving!" I belted out a little too loudly. I felt a little dizzy, but also a little invincible at the same time.

"I think this was a bad idea." Jamie growled softly as a guy across the room lifted his glass to me in a silent toast. The look of the guy gave me the creeps, but I raised my glass and winked at him regardless.

"Hey, don't I know you?" The guy called from his distance, clearly attempting to pull me into a conversation. I wished I could slide out the back of this party like I normally did, but Jamie wasn't about to let me ditch him and I was slowly feeling fuzzier by the moment. "Moxie, right? Jack's kid?"

I frowned at him and Jamie seemed to tense slightly in front of me as I leaned in to look at the guy closer. He didn't look familiar, but my dad knew all kinds in this town. The knot in my stomach grew as the guy came closer and I recognized the small scar on his cheek from the last group that ransacked my apartment looking for money.

"Oh yeah, hey." I forced a fake smile and leaned further away from Jamie, hoping to distance him from me so he wouldn't be caught up in my bullshit. "You kind of smell like vomit!" I called, laughing to myself.

"Do you know this guy?" Jamie asked a little too loudly, drawing way too much attention to the situation. The guy moved closer to us, instantly intrigued by the situation.

"Just drop it, please." I whispered, pushing his hand away from me.

"How is Jack anyway? Last I heard, he was looking for you." The guy said slowly, as if he were putting all the pieces together.

"Oh, you know my old man..." I started, ignoring Jamie as he slid behind me and tugged on my wrist. Everything about coming here was a horrible idea.

Get him out. Get him out of here. I changed to myself over and over again as I tried to slowly put more and more distance between the two of us. We had only been here for a few minutes and it was already a disaster. Why couldn't he ask me to dinner like a normal guy?

"Come on, Mox, we can party some other time. I think you've had enough." Jamie pleaded, wrapping his hand around my waist again.

"What the f**k?" I snapped, pushing Jamie away from me. "You do not get to tell me when I've had enough. You invited me here, remember?" I needed to get as much distance between Jamie and anything having to do with me before he got any more twisted in this mess.

"Come on, Moxie, I didn't think you would get this into it."

"What? Drinking? Drugs? Staying out all night?" I hesitated, thinking of what would hurt him the most. "Hooking up with random guys?" I spat, shaking my head as the guy who recognized me backed away from us slowly. "You took me to a party and didn't think it would end this way?"

"What is your problem?" Jamie yelled back, throwing an angry glare in my direction as I downed the rest of my drink and pushed past him toward the door.

Get him out! Cause a scene, be a b***h, get him out. This is as close to a public break up you'll get.

I started making a silent checklist of what I would need to do to leave before morning. I knew I had a bag in the bottom of my closet that was packed with a few changes of clothes and the money I had made from Jen was probably enough to get me a bus ticket somewhere and a hotel room for a couple days, if it was a really dumpy one. How far could I make it on foot?

I took off through the front door toward the car, fighting with myself on my options. The warm sticky air from outside blanketed me instantly, making me feel too hot all at once. I didn't want to ride back with Jamie, but it beat walking home and I could barely stand on my own feet anymore. I ripped open the car door and shifted myself into the cool seats, crossing my arms. I knew I was acting like a crazy b***h, but this was a major wake up call. Somehow I could almost feel Jack getting word of where I was. The guy from the party had probably already called him.

How could I salvage this?

"You don't know me at all, Jamie! Don't try to pretend like you do!" I exclaimed as he climbed into the drivers side of the car. Something in my mind chanted to get him somewhere safe - somewhere away from me.

The atmosphere seemed to change instantly as he sat next to me silently. I wanted to tell him to hurry up and take me home or get out and start walking, but the world was spinning enough and I knew I wouldn't make it. The whole world was falling apart around me. What did I drink? Was that alcohol drugged?

"You're right."

I sighed, dropping my head in my hands as I tried to blink the blurriness from my vision.

"Are you okay?" He asked with alarm in his tone that surprised me after everything that just happened. I nodded at the question sighing as I tipped my head back into the headrest. "You know, ever since you showed back up, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

I swallowed hard, forcing my shoulders to remain stiff. Tension sizzled in the air between us and I could feel my mask slipping.

"Well, that's stupid."

I smirked at him before grabbing a fist full of his shirt and dragging him closer to me until our lips were almost touching.

"I can take care of myself." I growled, narrowing my eyes at him before releasing his shirt and backing away from him completely. I felt horrified as tears prickled the back of my eyes and my throat constricted. Anger about the whole situation turned my vision red.

I heard Jamie let out a sigh beside me as he eased the car into drive. I thought we would ride home in silence.

"What if I want to take care of you?"