Last Chance Christmas

Chapter 3

Amber Haws woke on Saturday morning to the scent of hand sanitizer. The entire volunteer building smelled like it, as everyone had to clean their hands constantly. They used it when they entered the house to sign in. When they left. In every enclosure they went inside.

Honestly, the antiseptic scent turned her stomach.

As did the fact that she’d slept in the back room of the volunteer house in the first place. But she hadn’t been able to face the twenty-minute drive back to her house. Alone. She was so tired of being alone.

Scratch that. She hadn’t spent much time alone in the past couple of years. There were no shortage of men willing to ask her out, and Amber didn’t have a problem saying yes. But she couldn’t trust herself anymore.

She always picked the wrong guys to fall for. Dwayne had seemed so normal. So nice. So good.

“Fool,” she muttered to herself.

She’d told her friends yesterday afternoon that she was done with dating, and Adele had told her to just give it some time. That she’d find the right man. If that was true, Amber couldn’t see it.

She sat up with a sigh and ran both hands down her face. Exhaustion pulled through her, and she wanted a hot shower and a fresh doughnut. A dozen of them. In fact, all she wanted to eat today was doughnuts.

Normally, she didn’t work weekends, but she’d putter around up at the ranch today, only so she wouldn’t have to face her friends down in town and tell them about Dwayne. Detailing it for the women here at the ranch had been bad enough.

Regret lanced through her. She shouldn’t have said anything to Scarlett. But she hadn’t been able to work either, and she’d needed someone to help her check-out all the afternoon and evening volunteers. After all, she couldn’t do it with tears streaming down her face and inexplicable anger rushing through her every time she saw a cowboy hat come through the door.

Or get in her car.

Double humiliation choked her at how she’d treated Lance Longcomb yesterday. He’d always been nothing but kind and thoughtful with her, and she wondered why he’d never asked her out.

They’d flirted shamelessly six months ago, but he’d never asked. Never said anything. She wasn’t sure why. She thought she’d given him plenty of hints that she was interested in him.

Her phone buzzed, and she checked it to find Scarlett had texted. Someone brought you breakfast this morning. Are you at the volunteer house already?

Someone brought you breakfast this morning. Are you at the volunteer house already?Amber didn’t want to tell her that she hadn’t left. So she simply typed out, Yep.

Yep.She knew who breakfast was from—Scarlett herself. Well, probably Adele, though she only had a month left of her pregnancy and shouldn’t be on her feet at all. But she was exceptionally skilled in the kitchen, and Amber’s mouth watered just thinking about the stuffed French toast the woman made.

Amber hoped it was that. With bacon. A lot of bacon. Candied bacon.

CandiedAnd since she’d known Adele for a while now, Amber felt certain the woman would know about Amber’s obsession with bacon.

You want me to bring it to you? Or do you want to come to the homestead?

You want me to bring it to you? Or do you want to come to the homestead?Amber didn’t want to re-hash everything. So she called Scarlett and said, “I’ll come get it, but I don’t want to stay.”

“Lance is here. I can send him,” Scarlett said.

Amber’s heart skipped a beat. “Okay,” she said. Then she could at least apologize to him for her behavior yesterday.

“Great,” Scarlett said. “He’s on his way.”

Amber said, “Thanks,” and hung up. If she was going to face the handsome cowboy and squeeze the words, “I’m sorry,” from her throat, she needed to clean up first. She hobbled into the bathroom and turned on the water. She washed her face and slicked her damp hands through her hair, trying to tame the thick curls into something manageable.

She got them all gathered into a bushy ponytail and looked at her makeup-less face. It would have to do. As would yesterday’s clothes. In fact, everything about Amber’s life felt like yesterday’s.

Used up. Old. Crinkled. Rusty. Dry.

Tears gathered behind her eyes again, but she sucked them back. She would not cry today.

She faced herself in the mirror, her eyes darker than she remembered. “Help me, Lord,” she said. “It wasn’t Lance’s fault Dwayne was a jerk.” She took a deep breath, feeling stronger than she had since the break-up phone call yesterday.

Her memory for a couple of hours there wasn’t great, but she knew she’d almost run over Lance, and then she’d left him standing in the pouring rain.

As she left the bathroom, the front door of the volunteer house opened, and she came face-to-face with the gorgeous cowboy. Her breath caught in her lungs, as it always had when it came to Lance.

He carried a box of doughnuts, and surprise touched her heart.

“Good morning, Amber,” he said, finally coming all the way inside and letting the door close behind him.

“Morning,” she croaked. Clearing her throat, she added, “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

He waved one hand like what she’d done was no big deal. He was easy-going and laid-back, and she really liked that about him. “It was a rough day for you. I understand.” He flashed a smile, the movement in his mouth quick and strong. “I also happen to know you love doughnuts.”

He moved over to the counter where the volunteers usually checked in and set the box down. For some reason, Amber couldn’t move as she watched him open the box. “Come see.”

Their eyes met, and that electric charge that had always existed between them flowed as a live current. It propelled her across the space between them to peer down into the box. An array of chocolate and maple bars sat inside, and she couldn’t help giggling.

As the tears came, she spun and grabbed onto Lance. “Thank you,” she whispered into his shoulder, thrilled when his arms came around her too, holding her tight, tight against him.

“Listen, Amber.” He coughed slightly and continued with, “I know it’s not a great time and all that. But I’ve liked you for a long time, and I’d love to change your mind about cowboys.”

Shock and fear made her pull away from him. “Lance—”

“Not right now,” he said quickly, his bright blue eyes devouring her. “But I’ve always waited too long, and then some other guy asks you out. Some i***t like Dwayne.” He leaned closer while Amber’s mind spun.

I’ve liked you for a long time.

I’ve liked you for a long time.“So I just wanted you to know. I’m not Dwayne. That guy wasn’t even a real cowboy.” He took a step back and tipped his hat. “Enjoy your doughnuts.” He fell back again, and Amber suddenly didn’t want him to leave.

“Stay,” she blurted. “I certainly can’t eat all of these by myself.”

“Yeah?” Lance asked, looking up from under the brim of his hat in the most adorable way.

“Yeah.” She smiled and took out a chocolate bar. “Besides, I know you bought these for you anyway. I like the peanut butter ones more than chocolate.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said with a chuckle. “You think I don’t know that?” He turned, opened the door, and stuck his hand out. Someone put something in it, and he turned back to her holding another box of doughnuts. He lifted the lid and tilted it toward her, and it only had peanut butter bars in it.

Amber blinked at it, warmth seeping through her, barely covering the surprise and the panic. She couldn’t get involved with another man right now.

Could she?

Laughter filled her mouth, and she let it out. Lance laughed with her, and someone out on the porch of the volunteer house handed him a gallon of chocolate milk and a stack of cups, and then he locked the door behind him.

As they sat down behind the desk together to eat, Amber couldn’t help looking at him again. He wasn’t just a man.

He was the best-looking man she’d ever laid eyes on. The kindest.

And he liked her.

Had for a long time.

So maybe she couldn’t get involved with another man right now, but she could certainly start dating a cowboy.

* * *

By lunchtime, Amber walked through her front door without feeling like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. She’d had a great couple of hours with Lance that morning, and then he’d left with the words, “Whenever you’re ready, Amber,” and another adorable duck of his cowboy hat.

A cat yowled, and instant regret hit Amber again. “Cyclops,” she said, dropping her purse a step inside the front door. “I’m so sorry.” She got busy getting out more cat food, though the feline still had a bit of kibble in her bowl.

She was blind in one eye and declawed, but Cyclops still put off plenty of attitude as she waited for Amber to get the cans of wet cat food open. She paced, the cat equivalent of foot-tapping, and Amber kept apologizing until she put the food in front of the feline.

Cyclops dug into the food, and Amber went back to her purse to get her phone as it started ringing. JJ’s name sat on the screen, and Amber swiped on the call. “Heya, sis.”

A squeal filled the line, and Amber held the phone away from her ear. She giggled until her sister quieted, and then JJ said, “I just got engaged!”

Amber’s heart dropped to the floor and rebounded back to its rightful spot in her chest. “Congratulations,” she said, her voice hardly sounding like her own. In two weeks, Amber would turn forty, and that would make JJ six years younger than her.

Of course she had her whole life figured out already. Amber hated the poisonous thoughts in her head, but she didn’t know what to do about them.

“Tell me how it happened,” she said, hoping she could play the role of a supportive older sister for the next hour. She did wish happiness for her sister. Of course she did.

Cyclops finished eating long before JJ stopped talking, and the cat had apparently forgiven Amber, because she jumped into her lap and sat down.

“And I said yes.” JJ sighed blissfully.

“That’s so great,” Amber said. “I’m happy for you, JJ.”

“And you have to come shopping with me,” her sister said.

“Of course,” Amber said, letting some of the engagement excitement bleed into her. “Of course I will.” She made plans with her sister for the following weekend, and when she hung up, she decided there was nothing better to do with her Saturday afternoon than take a nap.

Then she wouldn’t have to try to make sense of her feelings. Wouldn’t have to try to figure out why she couldn’t find someone who wanted to commit to her the way JJ had. The way so many people around her had.

She closed her eyes, and the beautiful sight of Lance’s face filled her mind. He’d said he’d be ready when she was, but Amber wondered if she should give herself some time before jumping right back into another relationship.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t think of him every time she ate a doughnut.