Rewrite The Stars

Chapter 10

I had yet another sleepless night and I cursed Zach Walter over and over for that. I cursed his damn lips and the way they felt against mine. I cursed the feeling that I couldn't take off my mind.

     The next morning Lauren chided me to get as many details of last night out of my mouth as she could. And so I started off by telling her about the cops coming after us to which she replied, “Classic Zoe.” I told her about where Zach took me but left out all the things he said, and at last told her about our short yet unforgettable kiss.

     “So have you decided whether you're going tomorrow or what?” she then asked, after long minutes of squealing and basically fangirling.

     “Go where?” I questioned, not having a clue what she was talking about and where she was going with this.

     “His dad's lecture?” She reminded me.

     “There's no way I'm going, Lau.”

     “Alright.” She gave up, changing the subject by saying, “By the way, we're going to practice today.”

     “But today's Sunday.”

     “Exactly. Which is why no teacher's gonna be around. Do you want to join us?” She suggested.

     I didn't have to think twice about it. “I'd love that!”

     So by that Lauren and I changed our clothes and made our way toward the school's main building.

     It was weird to walk the same halls that I once had, in the day light and full of people. But it felt weirder not to have Zach Walter by my side, making silly talks and jokes.

     Lauren stopped by a classroom and opened it. The class was large and all its walls were made of mirrors. Some students were stretching and some others were rehearsing in small groups.

      “Hey, guys.” Lauren shouted as we walked in and closed the door behind us. “This is Zoe. Hopefully she'll be joining us next year!”

      “Go, Zoe!”

      “Welcome!”

      “Hey, there!”

     All of them welcomed me warmly with their words. They invited me into their groups and I started by stretching with Lauren, getting tips from each and every one of them every now and then in order to improve my techniques and moves.

     For a few moments I was actually having fun, but of course my guilt had to interfere. Why couldn't my parents just simply come in terms with this? Everything would've been simpler that way.

     I imagined myself being like all the other average girls and boys, when they would come here for their audition, accompanied by their parents. And then just to make matters worse, thanks to Lauren, I was again reminded of last night. What was so terrible about Zach's past that he felt so uneasy to talk about it? And just then, in a matter of seconds, the devil took my mind over. Maybe Lauren's right, I thought. Maybe it isn't a bad idea to go to his father's lecture tomorrow and see what's up.

      “You're actually really good.” Said an Asian girl who seemed to lead the others on, whenever they were doing something wrong.

      “Told you so.” Lauren smiled at her proudly.

      “By the way,” one of the guys called Alexander began talking to me with a charming grin. “We've got a performance on Friday –two weeks from now- and we're celebrating at my brother's house afterwards; it is fifteen minutes away from here. You're more than welcome to come and join us. You can also bring a friend.”

      “That's so sweet.” I smiled at him. “Thanks.”

      “But you should know, it's a costume party. Slutty nurses are highly appreciated.” He winked, but Lauren smacked his arm roughly, making us all laugh.

***

When the next morning merged on, I still couldn't believe that I was actually going to do this. I was officially a stalker now.

      “Don't feel guilty. Look at it this way,” Lauren tried to make me feel better. “You're going there to learn about psychology. That's it! It's not like you're going to follow him to his house or anything. These kinds of lectures are open for everyone.”

      “Now that I'm thinking about this, I actually have no idea why I'm doing this.” I confessed.

      “To see what's so bad about his family.” She stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

      “Well, that's creepy! You know what? I back out.”

      “No way! C'mon, please?”

      “Why do you care so much?”

      “Because there's no drama in this school!” Lauren groaned. “Well except for the drama classes.” She laughed but I blankly stared at her. “Oh, c'mon that was funny!” I just blinked, giving her no reaction. “Well, at least it sounded funnier in my head.”

      “I'll be going now.” I laughed.

      “A-hole.” She rolled her eyes jokingly.

     I was quick to get a cab and make my way to the NYU. Professor Walter's class was massive, yet full of people of all ages.

     I hurriedly took a seat at a shadowy corner and waited for him as I scanned through my phone. Finally, he came in and the entire room fell silent immediately at his presence. After a few sentences of prelude, he started.

      “Today I will be continuing from where I left off the previous week and the week before that; inner longings.” And by that, I started to feel bored already.

     I could tell from where I sat that his eyes were green, probably like Zach's; but I was sure that they didn't have the same life in them as Zach's did. His entire body was tense and stone-cold. He had a mouth, obviously made for sharp words and demands. His eyebrows were clearly used to frowning by now.

     I didn't understand seventy percent of the things he said, but all I gathered was that there was nothing in him to make Zach so ashamed of. So what if he wasn't the type to make dad-jokes? If anything, that was a bonus.

      “Inner longings will surface and be aroused after many circumstances; such as getting into situations that mostly reminds you of old wounds and issues, or the need to deal with addictions, or being left before managing to leave.” Said Professor Walter. “All these may lead to the most common ways of running away from the disturbing thoughts. Take self-harm as an example; hurting yourself physically just to forget about the emotional pain. Or another common situation among the teenagers is to literally run away from their homes.”

     My head snapped up from my phone at those words.

     He was now answering questions. But the only one that actually made my jaw drop was this:

      “Sir, is it true that you've faced such crisis before?” It was a blonde man in a formal suit who asked this, looking like he was in his 30s.

      “And what do you mean by that, Mr. ...?”

      “Hamilton.”

      “Mr. Hamilton?”

      “There's been words that your own son has recently become a runaway.”

     A round of murmuring was spread across the room. My eyes widened at those words and I suddenly felt my throat becoming dry.

      “I don't see why personal questions are appropriate to be asked in the classroom, Mr. Hamilton.” He said tensely.

      “Well, in my opinion, Sir, it matters. With all due respect, how can a well-known psychologist such as you not even be able to control his own child, yet give a lecture about it all the same?”

     People were now basically talking loudly as the two men stared down at each other.

      “SILENCE!” Professor Walter shouted when everyone went out of hand and that was the last word I listened to that day as my mind wandered off to the words the man had spoken.

     Zach Walter had also run away from home...

     But what could possibly be a more shameful reason than mine that he didn't even dare to speak of it?