Rewrite The Stars

Chapter 6

We both fell silent and I stared at him like he was some sort of a lunatic. I knew that what he had said was the truth. But I couldn't get myself to accept that. Because –as Zach would've said it himself at some point- there's no comfort in the truth if it only causes you pain.

    When Zach figured that I wasn't planning on speaking or responding to him, he took it upon himself to carry on talking. “I think a grey mass of clouds have surrounded you, disabling you to see the real things that matter.”

    And just with that, I snapped.

    “Excuse me!?” I frowned, folding my arms.

    “You know,” he shrugged. “You only live for one thing, and you think that's what gives your life meaning. But life's way more than just a goal.”

    “Just a goal!?” I repeated in frustration, scoffing. “Why do you talk like you know me so much!? Cause you don't! You don't know s**t! You haven't been through what I have! You have no idea how hard it was to put my life behind me and run away from home and how much harder it was not to look back!”

      He remained silent as I went on.

     “You're right when you say I live for my goal! But you have no rights telling me that's not the real thing when that's the only thing that keeps me going right now!”

     With that I stood up off my seat and without considering how rude I was being, I left. I couldn't help my temper. If I was to stay there any longer, I probably would've drove him crazy, along with myself.

    I found a cab easily. I guess it's true what they say about New York being the city that never sleeps.

    I tried to keep my tears in my eyes this time. But they started streaming down the moment I got back at Lauren's room and laid down on the spare bed. I was too exhausted to even change my clothes.

    Back at the time, I blamed Zach's hurtful words for my falling tears. But little did I know that they were tears of regression. It was killing me that after all that time, someone had finally said words I was too much of a coward to say them out loud to myself. And all I did was to shout at him and then storm away.

    I guess running away from stuff was becoming a habit of mine recently.

    I cursed Zach Walter over and over in my head. He had made it harder for me by being too good and too pure to be real. And what did I have to do? Leave him behind like everything else in my life, just because I was scared to face reality.

***

The next day I woke up when it was past noon, a bad headache bending me down in pain. Lauren was gone and I found myself hunted by my loneliness. After taking a long shower to wash away my disturbing thoughts, I put on my ballet shoes and put a song on my phone and started dancing to it, after stretching. Back and forth, I swayed to the beat that was enchanting my heart, my mind, and my soul. I felt unstoppable. I felt free. I raised my hands gracefully through the air, in perfect rhythm with my feet, in a perfect rhythm with the song. I danced, because there was nothing that could calm my raging heart more than that.

    I didn't realize how the time flew, but I came to myself when after about an hour, Lauren came back, bursting in the room. Panic was written all over her face, making my eyes widen in worry.

    “What's wrong?” I asked, pausing the song.

    “Your parents called.” She informed anxiously.

    “WHAT!?” I shouted. “What did they say? What did you say?”

    “I didn't pick up the phone! I recognized your mother's number.”

    “Shit.” I muttered and pulled at my hair, pacing around the room. “What am I supposed to do?”

    “What am I supposed to do if she calls again? I can't ignore her for the rest of my life!” said Lauren. “What am I supposed to say to her?”

    “Nothing!” I said with authority. “You can't answer her!”

    “Well, I can't do that!”

    “Why not?”

    “Cause they'll know something's up!” She groaned. “God, Zoe! What were you thinking when you were deciding to run away like that!?”

    “I wasn’t thinking! That's the point!”

    Soon our little spat was bound to be stopped when Lauren's phone started ringing.

    “Oh, crap.” She muttered, staring down at her phone's screen. “It's your mom again.”

    “Don't answer!” I pointed a finger at her warningly.

    “I can't!” she protested.

    “Lauren!”

    “Shush!” I was too late to prevent her, because she had already answered the call.

    At that point, I swear I could feel my heart trying to break my ribcage and run away. I was stressed, running my sweaty hand against my pants.

    “Hello, Mrs. Coleman–” Lauren tried to say, but my mother beat her into that, seeing as she was too rushed for chitchatting and went straight to my matter.

    My mom was speaking so loud on the phone that even I could hear her from afar. Lauren was freaking out more and more by every word she uttered. I looked at her with pleading eyes, wordlessly begging her to keep her mouth shut.

    All I needed was two months until my audition. I'd thought about leaving for New York just a few days before the live audition. But then again I was too afraid that I might've backed off. It was one of those 'now or never' situations. If I hadn't left that night, there was a big chance I would've never had the courage to do it anymore. So I took the chance when I could.

    “I wish I could help, Mrs. Coleman.” Lauren finally said. “But I'm afraid, I can't. Have a good day.” And by that, she hung up the phone. Lauren gave me a look before saying, “I'm never going through that again.”

    I sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

    “I still think it was wrong of you to do that.”

    “I don't need you to tell me that, Lau. I'm going through enough with all that's going through my head, as it is. I don't need extra stress on me right now.”

    “I'm not trying to stress you out. I'm just saying it was selfish of you, Zoe! Your mother was going mad behind the phone! And it was obvious she was trying to keep it cool. That was her cool state. I don't want to know what came to her when she first found out you were gone. What if they call the police? You do know that it's illegal to run away from home before you're eighteen, don't you?”

    “Then it's a good thing I'm turning eighteen in a month.” I joked. “Lucky me.” I said sarcastically, earning a glare from Lauren.

    “Still not the point, dude.” She sighed in frustration.

    “You were cooler back in New Jersey.” I teased, trying to smoothly change the subject.

    “Yeah, I was cool when it came to watching eighteen-plus horror movies or skipping last periods at school, or even getting extremely drunk at parties and ruining everyone's prom for a laugh, but this is different, Zoe.” She said sternly.

     I tried not to laugh, but I burst out at the end anyway.

    “What now?” Lauren rolled her eyes.

    “You mentioned prom.” I kept laughing.

    “What about it?”

    “Remember when you accidently spilled cherry juice on one of the seats?” I reminded her.

    “Yeah!” She finally stopped frowning and chuckled. “And we didn't bother to clean it up so whenever anyone sat down–”

    “–They got a large wet cherry juice stain on the back of their dress!” I completed her sentence.

    “I know! And those stupid guys actually thought those girls had forgotten to put pads for their monthly-problem!”

    “We truly did ruin their agendas for that night, didn't we?”

    “We sure did.” She laughed.

    And that, my friends, is how you smoothly change the subject.