Á Deux

3

- Let me start this time.

- Please do. But it would be nice if we do not run in place. I think I have an idea how to move on.

- I am sure you do. If only I could catch up with you. But I noticed that we had missed one point. It is about your alternatives. Since you brought up the idea of the National Gallery, is it true that we are not the only ones in your limitless imagination?

- I am afraid there could be no other way.

- Well, well… In this case, I have another question, but maybe later.

- I would like to clarify what is your idea of my participation in your games.

- Rather vague. I only hope that you should not be half-hearted to your creation’s ups and downs and its eventual loss of perspective. There is also another suspicion that we used up your need in sensual experience. All our joy and suffering repeat itself albeit in ever-increasing value. There are no new qualities and old ones gradually lose freshness and sharpness. One could imagine your lack of interest. Even the planet itself is moaning: enough, I can bear it any longer. And it looks like we alone are unable to ride it out.

- That had happened not once before.

- As I understand, up to a certain time these calamities: meteorites, glacial period, floods, etc. were of cosmic nature while the general conditions were settling down. It had nothing to do with us. Since then nothing of the same magnitude has been happening for many millennia. We were able also to deal with some large-scale woes. But about a century back we started to create catastrophes ourselves, quite unconsciously too, and unexpectedly. We somehow managed to evolve and organize ourselves in such an ugly way that snatched the reins out of our hands. From that moment on, we cannot stop wondering. Unpredictable First World War which drove mad the whole generation; the monstrous upheaval in one-sixth of the planet that crippled the population for yet another several generations; and right away – Second World War after which a mass murder would not look so unthinkable as before. There are no reasons to believe that such a chain of unpredictable and uncontrollable cataclysms would suddenly quit since we do not know what it had been originated from. Are you suggesting us to wait patiently for the next mayhem, and hope that everything would eventually be OK?

By your cue, everything begins with an ethical necessity and creative power working in the same direction. Even the universe of a dubious quality where Good barely outweighs Evil is a bit better than complete emptiness. I believe you. There is no clear logic in it. Maybe there should not be. Intuitively I feel it possible. But if this ethical requirement leads to a sheer sequence of catastrophes and survivals, my understanding ends. I see no necessity in it. Could it be an endless endurance? Or a narrowing chance for a few future generations to experience the same joy and sorrows? I thought the design could have been a little fancier than a Disneyland with dizzying attractions.

- Are you ready to attend to the design itself?

- Why the fuss? There had been times when you were not shy to consult with me. It was much later that you went down to wrath: ‘Where were you when I laid the Earth’s foundation and so on…”. Well, I was just there. And let me remind you that before laying the foundation, you out of your wisdom and conscience, asked me whether I was willing to share with you the labor of creation, considering that I was to bear the most gruesome part of it – finitude of being and all corresponding agony. I marveled at the chance to join you in the rapture of creativity, even in my human capability, and gave you my permission. Although you did not mention that you were making a deal not with me alone. And that there might come a time when you become bored with our travail and leave us to ourselves, for the sake of your endless pursuit of ethical necessity… I have gotten carried away, I am sorry. Actually, it is your fault bringing up this incoherent deluge of wordage in me.

- Don’t you have a feeling that you are talking to yourself?

- Don’t you?