Á Deux

13

Festus:

Paul, thou art mad, thy much learning doth turn thee to madness.

Paul:

I am not mad, most noble Festus; but speak forth the words of truth and soberness. For the King knoweth concerning those things, before whom I speak freely using boldness also: for I am persuaded that none of these things has escaped his notice; for this thing was not done in a corner.

The Acts of Apostles. XXVI; 24, 25

- Do you expect something else from me?

- No. Not that I exactly expect… But I wish sometimes you could have shifted around a bit. Like, maybe twitching a dark matter or black holes, or wherever sources of energy have stuck. In short, a gap between sluggish, unnoticeable unraveling of your reality and my brief stint is too agonizing. Well, okey dokey… But for all that… For all that… You shouldn’t have come, but you have. So, plead for me with yourself! That first one who argued with you, what was he crying about? “What is the man that you make so much of him, that you test him every moment? Will you ever let me swallow down my spittle? Why have you made me your enemy, so I became a burden to myself? For I will soon lie down in the dust; you will search for me, but I will be no more.” 10

Would you be comfortable when I am no more?

- I would rather skip these sentiments, for your own sake.

- But is there any signs, any confirmation of all that you have said?

- There is the sign, right under your nose – the philtrum, vertical indentation above the upper lip where Lailah, the goddess of Night touched you right before birth, so you forgot all that had happened before. But philtrum stays. For the beauty of it, and for your chance to always remember. About the goddess of Night.

- A myth…

- Indeed. What I have told you contained nothing that did not already exist in your world. Some of that you know yourself. You probably noticed several names I have mentioned; I have also omitted few others so you would not get an impression of the reading list offered. I am not revealing any prescriptions or magical ways to overcome your condition and straighten up the current world’s problems.

Here is what I am getting at: there is a seemingly complete world before your eyes. To deal with the situation that looks hopeless, you have to mentally take this world to pieces, to unconnected elements – to get back to a chaos of the kind that had preceded the current state. Capitalism, Socialism, democracy… To some initial conditions that have been lost among the labyrinths of evolution; to the incidental world where no part had priorities before others.

For that, you would have to personally reach the spot outside the provided social world, and its corresponding believes – a position which in itself is a condition for the emergence of any social worlds. Here you are entitled to the absolute freedom if you are ready to embrace it.

You should not be afraid of chaos; it is full of living force and waits for your will to organize it one way or another. But instead of rational analysis employ vivid, sensible concepts of Behemoths, Leviathans, rejoicing morning stars, and forego following the laws of a formed, artificial, problematic system. Do not fight it, just quit developing it.

-This spot… You say it is located outside the provided world. Where is it?

- In a traditional classic society, there was a certain minimum of people, a distinct category. It could have been philosophers, artists, writers, something of that ilk – ancient intellectuals. Essentially they were the people’s conscience; human beings who assumed the burden to interpret life, which did not yield interpretation easily. Since no one doubted that these men were enlightened in world’s true inner formation and design, they commanded unanimous respect and appreciation. People understood that these unpretentious ones did the job which the majority were never able or intended to do. All in all, they nurtured humanity, and such a position was assigned to them by general agreement.

Then, at the critical moment of history which we have discussed earlier, one impudent person posted a loud question: ‘Who is nurturing the nurturers?’

Such a question has never been raised before. But ideology elbowing its way to the table was not satisfied with old nurturing; it needed army of teachers at once who could teach swiftly. The connection with the highest consciousness was interrupted because it was assumed that truth could be taught, whereas one could only learn how to search for the truth.

The production of nurturers began en masse; the old ones were displaced, lost their authority; bewilderment and iniquity commenced. In contemporary social structures, this classical category of people does not exist. But it does not mean that it has disappeared completely. This place is simply vacant, does not belong anywhere. Perhaps this is one of the spots that should be taken.

- No, something is wrong there. It looks just like what is suggested by the righteous ones who have armed themselves with hellish patience and acquired total inner harmony. I will be honest: against all my arguments, I have a strong temptation for accepting their idea… If only for conscience' sake, I will take a shot at explaining why I would not either follow or even envy them.

Because in this case they are right. The only thing that could impel the hollow man take the path that you were describing, is a thorough shake-up. So that the ringing of his hollowness would force him to pause and realize that it is better to fill it up with something. And been shaken must be a sizable part of billions, that means a new catastrophe. Otherwise, your snail mail path leads into the mists of eternity, and regarding human fates, does not look as development at all. This very process, running through my fingers, strips me of the joy of life.

Thus, we are at the start of conversation. So far none of the disasters have worked. Given contemporary science, what is the probability that the next one fulfills its draconian job?

- Impatience never did any good.

- I am not talking impatience. It is just a nervous form of patience, which you recommend revoking. I am referring not to fidgeting or haste, but firm conviction that evolvement continues. Where can it come from?

- If I say that you will not see any signs of evolvement, but for the next generation or for the one after these signs will be obvious – would such a testimony encourage you?

- Sure. But you are not saying. You wouldn’t even know it – you have given us too much of free will to deceive your expectations.

- And your will, what do you apply it to?

- There is no application for it… It seems I do not need it.

- …

- …

- Why wouldn’t you attend to what you can do best? Maybe you will become a sign yourself.