Á Deux

8

- I would like to offer you some co-authorship. You are still angry with those whom we have decided to name the righteous ones, and I do not mind rallying to their defense. Why don’t we produce an imaginary dispute and try to resolve what they upset you with?

- We can try.

- Let us start with the desirable state to which one should gravitate. 5 You see a multiplicity of objects: people, flowers, trees, animals, things, light…

- Acts, moves, beauty, death, hear music…

- … Forms. At the same time, you realize silence – mere presence, conscience. It does not have a form. It is you in your essence. From here you perceive everything. Even when you are thinking – sometimes there is a need to think something over – you do not lose the sense of presence. Behind thinking, between thoughts, there is still silence. It means to be in one dimension with one leg and in a different one with another.

- Quite an awkward position. If you move, you might tear your pants. Anyway, I perceive objects, forms as you say. And what follows? By what measure presence and stillness participate? Or they just standing near, “by,” ‘on the side”?

- Profound respect of forms arises when you perceive that which is behind them…

- Also when you experience the destruction of magnificent forms.

- You are looking for ultimate satisfaction in the realm of forms. But nothing in this realm could give you ultimate satisfaction.

- Well, what size of satisfaction can Relativity Theory or Dwořác’s “Requiem” offer? Not ultimate obviously, not final. But maybe maximal within our limits?

- To stand with one leg in reality, and with the other in another dimension, is the only way to love all things in the world as yourself. Of course, the other human body is not yours but on the deepest level both you and the other share the same. Recognizing universal conscience in everything, manifesting itself in a multitude of forms is love. Then you do not need love because you are giving it. You radiate benevolence; you do not demand anything for yourself. If you give love, it returns to you. You did not count on it…

- Why not?

-…You did not need it…

- Oh! That's where the shoe pinches!

- And you are thankful when love returns to you. It is wonderful!

- Really? What a meager love it is, rather tepid. It is from the museum’s treasures again. What is the nature of such beauty? Eternal abstract value? This way we are abandoning the world of senses. I don’t believe you are speaking sincerely from the heart. It looks like a rhetorical exaltation. But if you are, I am sorry for you.

- The outer layer of being is the place for forms’ coexistence, place of mourning and tears. You feel sorrow when loved ones die. One wave subsides then another might come but even as these waves roll there is peace deep inside. You are not seized by emotion, consumed by it. It simply exists within your space.

- How is it ‘simple’? What emotion are we talking about? Of losing loved ones?

- There is peace under this emotion. And only out of this peace, one can comprehend the truth about what is there on the other side of the death.

- So far, I am not longing to understand what is there. We have not come to this point yet. What is clear though that you dismiss emotional involvement, engagement.

- Unless people obtain presence, they do not know what they are doing. They have no idea of responsibility; do not realize the consequences of their unconsciousness, therefore, producing suffering over and over again. In the end, suffering is a flame that burns up ego – collective as well as personal. It is a long and slow path, painful path of awakening, a path of mounting suffering.

- There is such a path indeed. And I can see two outcomes. Along with an ego, a personality could burn up too, of which you have not said a word yet. And personality deserves special attention. Perhaps it is the utmost important item. You equate ego with personality. I see ego as bad, damaged personality although the line between ego and natural personality is very thin. But then, eliminating suffering is the final and only result, departure from the process, personal salvation. There might be another burning – transformation of suffering, overcoming, forceful creative response. Personality remains, becomes even stronger if it gets lucky, and grows. I do not think that ridding of suffering is the only way to free us from ego.

- A lot of people are still totally identified with forms that constantly appear in their conscience as thoughts and emotions that become reactivity patterns; thought patterns; emotional patterns.

- These thoughts and emotions could also be not patterns but a base for images and creative ideas, producing something that never existed before.

- In your daily life, you incarnate in every thought coming to your mind. You identify with it, with every emotion that accompanies this thought. And then you become this identity. In other words, this condition is like sleep. Conscience is sleeping.

- Or dreaming intensely…

- It is an idea immemorial that we are all sleeping; that the conscience has identified with form and been sleeping. You look at it, and all you can see is ignorance of a small being that wants something or is afraid of something. The light is obscured by identification. This is a condition similar to sleep. Apparently, the Universe wants to experience this condition for a while until it awakens. Only in this life here and now one can disidentify from the form. It is the main goal.

- That is a revolt. Rejection of the design, of the idea of manifestation in forms. But you have said that the Universe wanted to experience something. What would that be? What is its itch? Couldn’t it be that so-called “sleep” is a specific mode of creation? What if the Infinite Mind creates universes by transitioning from thought to the imagination, to active dreaming and falling into its dream? Isn’t it the way a material world is born; and its special feature – a human being with his conscience capable of going through the similar process?

- We could not know that. But all people in your life, your family and friends are formations – a conscience assuming these states akin to sleep. This is not who they are.

- This is exactly who they are as I know and love them!

- Can you relate to them on the other side of the form in which they appear? When you are with them can you feel timeless in them? Can you sense that they are also a light of consciousness shining through them? To put in another way, to recognize yourself in others?

- I can. And I try to do just that. But most precious word is “in others.”

- You are the light of the world, as someone said two thousand years ago. He has said two things: “I am the light of the world” and “You are the light of the world.” To whom he has been talking to? To that one and that one with their insignificant lives, narrow knowledge, small fears? Were they the light of the world?

- Most definitely. Born in the image and in pursuit of likeness. He has been addressing their consciousness reminding them of what they had forgotten.

- It is ephemeral, fleeting. This “I” is evanescent, and this is good, normal. We can enjoy this also, this evanescence…

- Also? That was the whole point! The world it seems was created for this very purpose. You are saying supposedly right things but putting the cart before the horse.

- You cannot use your common mind – that is the objectifying mind which grasps, interprets. The habit of forms is extremely strong. That is how the mind works; it attempts to turn into a form into an object what could not be expressed in words. God for instance. When you say “God” you make an object out of something that could not be rendered in language but is the very foundation of life; the life itself before it becomes this or that.

- Is there any way at all of letting invisible into a consciousness. There are more suitable forms – symbols, images, myths – that help the mind to navigate through not only the sensual world but immaterial realms like love, good, suffering...

- That is what humans did to themselves; they convert themselves into an object of consciousness. And then you establish relations with this “self,” sometimes good, sometimes awful. You either like yourself or can’t stand it. It is very strange: turning oneself into an object.

- Well, if your only positioning in the world is limited by whether you like yourself or not you are a total mess.

- But we also realize something important here. It seems that such a stage of becoming an object has been necessary, which was described… Well, it was described all over the world.

- Here you go again! Would be nice to know how you interpret this “described all over the world” necessity of becoming objects. It is the most interesting topic, might even be an utmost important one.

- We are here to trespass the boundaries of the illusion of being objects in consciousness.

- But it is not an illusion. This is how it is: we are here to absorb it and keeping the consciousness intact be in it as a subject-object, literally that, double entity.

- The most you can know is all content – all forms that compose a personality: hidden desires, motivations, pain…

- Exactly. It is a personality that acts dynamically in the sensual world.

- I do not insist that this kind of knowledge is meaningless, it has its merits. But its meaning, the chief purpose of it is an awareness that it exists; and also that you are not it. All you could know is what you are not. You can know a lot about yourself, but you cannot know yourself. You can study not only psychological yourself, but your body. You can keep studying for a hundred years, since at the moment you are just scratching the surface of all human body’s complexity. Even most advanced researchers know only a bare minimum.

- Isn’t it well worth doing?

- No one knows how it works. You always can look deeper; it is extremely complicated. We are here not to grasp the Form fully.

- Perhaps for this too. What is the Form for if we need not comprehend it? If the Form is just a cunning trick, a tool for playing with our bloody experience?

- Quite sufficient would be to learn what prevents us from a more profound understanding of the essence.

- Or rather wise up quickly how to escape, return to the initial point? What profound essence are we to understand then?

- There is no form in your conscience when you realize who you are.

- The Creator has conceived notably the form. Was he wrong? Goofed? Do we dare to correct him?

- We use language. Its structure is such as to include object and subject in a sentence. But when you rich the point where there is a feeling: “I do not know who I am,” then you approach self-consciousness. You do not define yourself with thoughts, composing all sorts of assertions or opinions, and selfhood arises. It is formless; it is not a thought but consciousness from which any thought could come.

- Holy cow! What is it coming for? Why is there a needed for it now?

- It is a presence. Formless. It is “I am.” Not “I am this or that ” but “I am.”

- There is no contradiction here. “I am” and at the same time “I am this.” Otherwise, I do not exist in the world; it does not need me.

- Of course, the words “I am” are only a pointer. These are wrong words, and there are no the right words for it. Presence precedes all sensible impressions, makes these impressions possible; it precedes all thoughts but makes them possible; precedes all emotions and makes them possible; precedes all forms and makes them possible. Presence is an initial state, a source before the Universe was born. It is stunning that the state before Big Bang (what scientists call a beginning of forms) never vanished. The initial state continued existing in every being as its essence. Therefore, the heart of the matter lives in every being as presence.

- Admirably put! The rest is to get an idea of why there was a Big Bang and beings, so many beings…

- None of these words is an ultimate truth. These things could not be expressed in words. So, every word is an approximation, remote approximation or a pointer for maintaining mentation. If you are looking for God, the quest is false since at the very beginning you have a mental object, the object in consciousness that you are searching.

- That is certainly true.

- Or if you are looking for your true selfhood, real yourself, there is a mistake at the very start. How can you succeed if you are moving in the wrong direction? “I am looking for myself” as if you could find some improved version of yourself in the future, “enlightened me.”

- Why in the future? You keep intense conscious work and find yourself at every moment, create yourself. Without such an effort, there is neither me nor the universe.

- The main reason for us to be here – the only reason – is to get access to this state of consciousness. Not to learn something new as the sophisticated part of your mind assumes – this is the easiest way to be yourself. “To be yourself” is an interesting expression with many different shades of meaning. To be something superficial, totally represent your conditioning – could be one of them. There could also be a deeper meaning: “to be nothing in particular.” Not to be someone, but be a thing existent, consciousness. Be yourself.

- I believe there is a deeper meaning yet... But we are beating around the bush. To be consciousness is to be a consciousness, not yourself.

- Another important point is not to resist objects that surface in the space of the present because the space of the present is in other words, who you are. “Now” is yet another word to define who you are: space where all things appear. It never vanishes, there is no life without it. It is an unmanifested life itself. Everything pops up inside it. And then it disappears.

- So, why it pops up and disappear?

- While you move through your feelings, experience your life, there is a field of peace, stillness in the background. But in some strange way, this peace flows into the world of forms, so any human being who maintains this consciousness, who is alerted to it in his daily life begins influence this world. And things change. But it is not the reason for us to be here. We are not to change the world; it is a byproduct of awakening.

- It means that we do not take part in the Creator’s work and has been created without our knowledge or consent, as experimental material. What about free will? And why such an ignominious position should be revealed to us?

- If you aim to change the world, you lead the wrong card again. As you know the common meaning of love is an attachment of one form to another in anticipation of finding wholeness, fulfillment. But real love is something else. If you look at another human being without defining yourself in any way you do not need to define this person with thought either. You recognize your indeterminate essence in the other. And this is love. It has nothing to do with the love in the world of things.

- And of men and women… It is unclear what such love has to do with, if any. But why is there gender? Of course, you recognize yourself, but in the other – that is where the whole point of s*x and mutual affinity, and love placed.

- Things could still be important…

- Still? And could be not?

- …but never absolutely important.

- Let me put it differently: things should never be considered absolutely important, but you ’d better realize their importance.

- Once you accept the fleeting nature of everything and the inevitability of changes, you can enjoy pleasure, while it exists without fear of losing it and anxiety about the future. By relinquishing attachments, you obtain a much greater advantage. From that summit, you observe events of your life in such a way that they do not capture you. You resemble an astronaut who sees the Earth surrounded by an endless space and realizes a paradoxical truth: The Earth is loved and precious and at the same time insignificant. Acceptance of the fact that it will also pass introduces detachment and brings into your life a new dimension – inner spaciousness. You gain access to this dimension through detachment and inner surrender.

- And with this gift, you as an astronaut return to the Earth, to attachments. Otherwise, why is it so precious and so loved? Here it seems we have a major flaw. You should better not cross this line. You are sincerely, maybe out your emotional trait, missing the point, and disorienting others. Your initial therapeutic intentions would suffice. Perhaps some of your patients would go farther. But you could also over-treat right up to a total absence and reclusion.

- Yes, there is an unconscious urge which is part of personality, of ego. The urge for sensual experience, for the assertion of physical form, for continuing exploration of senses.

- Personality does need it, but not ego.

- I certainly do not need an additional sensual experience.

- This is it, finally! There is the rub. It is a rejection. The whole point of the material universe, live creatures, and a human being was nothing but a chance to sample sensual experience which is unavailable to the Infinite Mind. And you are casting it away. That is, the idea of such a world seems to you needless, deserving no attention. What else is there to talk about?

- Consciousness is already conscious. It is unmanifested, eternal. The Universe, however, is only gradually becoming conscious. When consciousness becomes the manifested universe, it appears to be subject to time and to undergo an evolutionary process…

- What evolutionary process? It is but a most interesting thing.

- No human mind is capable of comprehending fully the reason for this process.

- Come on! Stop repeating yourself. This trick is used much too often when there are not enough arguments. You have already piled up a world of comprehending yourself. Maybe it should not be a full comprehension, maybe it is impossible indeed, but to retreat to such pseudo-sagacious reasoning to duck the question, is unworthy of you.

- But we can glimpse it within ourselves and become a conscious participant in it.

- A conscious participant should understand what process he is participating in.

- On our planet, the human ego represents the final stage of universal sleep, the identification of consciousness with form. It was a necessary stage in the evolution of consciousness.

- Necessary how?

- Consciousness flows into the world through you. It flows into your deeds and inspires you.

- Now, this is something new. So far there was no talk about deeds, rather about evading them.

- If you do not suffer, there is no depth in your human nature, no humility, no compassion…

- Hence it is a must-have – suffering, for the depth, compassion…And here comes another novelty: human nature. What is this beast? Maybe it is the very personality since it could not be ego?

- Suffering breaks the shell of ego and then comes the realization that it has served its purpose. Suffering is required until you realized that you do not need it.

- Ah! But this is the world transformation. It cannot possibly be a personal matter.

- The main purpose of the dense world is not its existence as such but a possibility to transgress its boundaries…

- Let us render it in a slightly different way: its existence brings in, creates something new which in its turn could lead the dense world out of its limits.

- Some people say, “God is love.” I would put it differently. Since love assumes a certain duality: there is loving one and a loved one – this is supposed to be love. But of course, there is no duality in God, only oneness. I would say: God is an awareness of unity in the world of duality. Which means love is God’s way to come into this world, to cognize himself…

- Through earthly love?

- Love is God’s entering this world. It’s solely up to us to be open to this. But to be open, a personality should by a good measure, dissolve. To walk through life just pretending to be a personality.

- Oh boy! All is upside down. Not to help God experience love and know himself but wriggle out of this task. “Pretending” would not work. There is no such thing as mocked love…

- …

- …

- There. It looks like we have warmed up pretty good, even yelled at each other. You are quite a polemist after all.

- Polemist my ass. There was no polemic, just parallel arias.

- And a good job too. It makes clearer who is heading where.

- So, what has this sketch clarified for you?

- Confirmed rather. Your mutual engagement and simultaneously, painful misunderstanding.

- Should it console me?

- You have not said you need consolation. The matter is much more serious. Do not be upset but I am leaving you for the time being. Take it as my whim if you prefer.