Wolf In Me: A Shifter’s Love

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I wanted to punch him in the face.

Watching Brennan stand in the corner of the kitchen with crossed arms and a scowl, set my wolf into a frenzy. I didn’t care if he was a grizzly, or Scarlett’s mate, he was being f*****g rude.

“Stop growling, Seth,” Scarlett said with a sigh. “This isn’t about Brennan.”

“Then tell him to stop looking at me.” I narrowed my eyes and let the wolf show.

“Oh my god,” she groaned. “You’re acting like a two-year-old.” I continued to glare at Brennan as his chest rumbled with a warning. Scarlett turned to her mate and started shoving him out of the room. “You too! You’re both acting like children. Get out!”

Brennan hardly budged, his massive body far outweighing Scarlett. And even though she was the alpha of our pack, Brennan was a grizzly. “I’m not leaving you alone with him,” he pushed out through gritted teeth.

“You are,” she snapped. “Out!”

Brennan looked down at her outstretched hand pointing toward the front door. He frowned and tried to touch Scarlett’s shoulder.

But she pulled away and stomped her foot. “I need to speak with Seth. Alone.” After letting out another sigh, she added, “Please.”

Flashing me a final scowl, Brennan slowly stalked out of their trailer with heavy steps. He walked around the side to the window by the kitchen, standing there so he could hear our conversation. I cracked my neck in an effort to hold the wolf inside, but Scarlett was already on top of it. She crossed her arms and yelled toward the window, “I know you’re standing there, Brennan.”

The grizzly’s feet crunched on the frozen ground outside as he gave us some privacy. In all honesty, I didn’t care if he listened. I had nothing else to say. But at the same time, he needed to mind his place when it came to pack business. “Why is he being such a d**k?” I asked.

Scarlett whipped her head back around to me, her dark braids swinging in the air as she did. “Brennan’s being a d**k? Are you serious?”

I shrugged. Scarlett didn’t like that.

“What the f**k is wrong with you, Seth?” She pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and fell into the seat like she had no more energy. “You’ve been acting out and pushing back ever since you disobeyed my orders and helped Danika and Zane.”

I huffed and twisted my neck again. This was a conversation we’d had a thousand times. “I didn’t disobey you,” I growled.

“You did.”

“They needed our help.”

“I told you not to get involved and because you ignored me, we lost two of our own.” Scarlett’s voice hitched at those words. The loss had been hard on her. Especially since one of the wolves killed in the attack was her cousin.

When Anton chose to bring war to the shifters over his own daughter’s dragon secret, we had no choice but to fight against him. “Danika is one of us. We had to stand by her side.”

“It wasn’t our fight, Seth. And that’s why I told you to stay out of it.”

“Jesus, Scarlett. You’re practically part of the clan yourself. How can you seriously sit here and say that we don’t have responsibilities? f**k!” I squeezed my head and let the dark hair flop over my hands. The wolf was so close to the surface I knew Scarlett would force him back down soon. Pacing back and forth across the white kitchen floor, I did my best to respect my alpha.

“Is that what’s going on?” Scarlett asked with a cold tone. “You don’t think I’m being a good leader?”

I couldn’t look at her right now. I couldn’t make eye contact because if I did, she would know that’s how I felt sometimes. And I really did respect her. It’s just that my wolf was not satisfied with its alpha and I didn’t quite know why.

“Answer me.” Her power filled the small space and I whimpered with the command.

“That’s not it,” I whispered.

“Do you want to challenge me?” she snapped.

“No.”

“Are you sure?” Scarlett stood and I scented her animal itching for a fight.

Spinning to look out the window by the sink, I clenched the countertop until my knuckles turned white. “I don’t want to challenge you, Scarlett.”

“Your animal says otherwise.” I heard her walk a little closer, but she stopped and leaned against the pantry. “You know I didn’t fight for my spot as alpha. I never had to prove my worth.”

I turned my gaze to her. “Scarlett, everyone knew you were the best choice when your uncle died. It wasn’t even a question.”

She crossed her arms and stood a little taller. “But it is now.”

“No,” I tried to sound convincing but my damn wolf gave me away. “I mean, yeah. Maybe. But that’s the animal talking. It’s not me, Scarlett. I don’t want to challenge you.”

She paused for a moment, studying me with that intense stare she always used when working through a problem. In fact, that was why she was a good alpha. She wasn’t impulsive or reckless and she never made a demand without thinking it through thoroughly. It’s why it had been so hard to disobey her when she told me to stay out of the dragon problems and let Zane and Danika handle it themselves.

“You need to get your animal under control,” she warned. “I don’t like this uneasiness that I’m sensing from you. You are my second. My enforcer. And I need you to be here for me, Seth.”

The desperation in her voice didn’t go unnoticed. I looked at her again. “Why? What’s going on?”

She dropped her eyes and kicked at some imaginary spot on the floor. “Nothing. I just need to make sure that I can count on you.”

Nope. There was something else. I could smell the lies. “Bull shit.” Brennan growled from underneath the window and I nearly lost it. Leaning over the sink, I shouted at the glass, “Go the f**k away, chadaka’a!”

“Seth!” Scarlett scolded me like a child. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

I flung my hand toward the front door that had just slammed open and pointed at Brennan. “This isn’t any of his business!”

Scarlett signaled for her mate to stay away and she turned a deadly glare my way. “It is his business, Seth. Brennan is my mate. He’s a part of this pack. And my safety is his f*****g business.”

“Your safety?” I spat. “I’m your second. Not him!”

“You’re right,” she yelled right back in my face. “But he’s the father of my child and he has a right to worry about us!”

As though being shot in the heart, I had a physical reaction to Scarlett’s news. She was pregnant and starting a family. Just like every other f*****g shifter in Alaska. Or at least it felt that way. Bo and Kenzie. Brandt and Emma. Zane and Danika. And now Scarlett and f*****g Brennan. Every single one of my friends had found their mate. Their happiness. And here I was. Alone with a restless wolf begging for a pack of his own. And now I would have to play an even bigger role as Scarlett’s second.

Well, f**k that.

This wasn’t what we wanted.

“Seth?” Scarlett’s voice lightened as she took a step closer to me. “Are you all right?”

I waved her off and stomped to the other side of the table. Putting space between us seemed like the right thing to do. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Congratulations?” Scarlett teased with a small smile.

We’d known each other since we were born. Practically raised as twins, although not technically related. I couldn’t hate her and I instantly felt like a douche for not being happy for her new addition. But I just couldn’t bring the right words to my mouth. So, I said the first thing on my mind. “I need some air.”

Scarlett’s jaw dropped open a moment before she snapped it shut. The look of pain in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed, but I was content with being a selfish bastard right now. As I stomped out of the room and toward the front door, I itched for some kind of outlet for this anger.

Brennan looked like a good option.

But he stepped aside when I got close. With a glare tossed down in my direction, he flashed me his teeth a moment before rushing to Scarlett’s side. I turned to see him comforting her and I felt even worse for my actions. Yet my wolf only wanted to bleed something right now, so it was definitely for the best that I avoided any kind of confrontation.

Which was why I closed my eyes in frustration when Alex ran toward me as I tried to return to my own trailer at the end of the road. He had a posse in tow, mostly made up of the lower pack—the scrawny, weak young boys who had yet to fully come into their own. Alex, himself, was young. Almost eight years younger than me. But he thought he was God’s gift to the world and I guessed, by the way he marched in my direction, that he was ready to put those beliefs to the test.

“Go home, Alex,” I grumbled in his direction, showing him a little of the wolf in warning.

“Seth Blackwell. I challenge you for second.”

As though a meteor dropped from the sky and landed at my feet, every single wolf within earshot stopped what they were doing and turned to face us. Great. Just what I needed. My animal certainly wanted a fight but my human side was tired of this struggle and he just wanted to have a beer and watch some football.

“Seth!” Alex shouted. His little cheering squad whistled and clapped, pumping up the growing crowd for the fight that he thought was about to happen. “I challenge you!”

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned toward the center of the one-way dirt road that led into our Bristling Pine Estates trailer park. Alex was already standing in just his jeans, ready to shift if necessary and totally oblivious to the cold temperatures. I shook my head and cracked my neck again. “I’m not fighting you,” I said.

“You have to!” Alex yelled. “You have to accept the challenge.”

With a shrug, I turned my back toward him and continued my trek up the road toward my home. The gathered crowd mumbled at my complete disrespect but not a single one of them said anything. Until Scarlett got herself involved.

“You must fight him, Seth,” she said from her front porch. I didn’t need to look to see exactly where her command was coming from.

I stopped but didn’t face anyone. With several deep breaths, I tried to calm the anger inside that had become a part of me these past few weeks. Yes, my wolf wanted a fight. He wanted to spill blood. But I wasn’t going to beat up some poor kid just to get relief. I may be an animal but I still had my humanity. With a growl, and fighting the prickling sensation on my neck, I started to walk away again. “No,” I said.

“Seth!” Scarlett’s command almost brought me to my knees. Damn her for forcing this. If she wanted me to help protect her during her pregnancy, then she needed to learn to have some respect. I spun around on my heels and glared at my alpha. Most of the other wolves had their heads bowed, some were even on their knees. Scarlett’s power hung over the trailer park yet I refused to listen.

This would be my stance.

“I do not want to fight him,” I growled.

“It doesn’t matter what you want. He challenged you and you must accept.” She stood on her porch with her hands on her hips, dressed in her typical all black with the giant f*****g grizzly closely behind. He narrowed his eyes at me and I almost charged him. But Scarlett saw my reaction and gave me a curt head shake. Then she jerked her chin toward Alex and raised her brows.

I let out a breath and focused my hatred on my challenger. “Fine.”

With gritted teeth I stomped toward Alex and watched as he took in the high fives and slaps on his back as affirmation that he actually had a chance. He bounced from foot to foot like a boxer, shaking his hands and rolling his shoulders around. The smile on his face only encouraged my wolf to dominate his scrawny ass and suddenly that was all I could think about.

As I got closer, his eyes widened when he felt my animal pushing down on his. But to give him credit, he didn’t back down.

“Seth Blackwater, I challenge you for sec—ah!”

My fist slammed into jaw, smacking it so hard the sound lingered for a while. His body fell instantly, knocked out cold and finally quiet. Everyone gasped and looked back and forth between us. I flexed my right hand, making sure I hadn’t broken anything, and then turned to give Scarlett a look. The small smile on her face told me that she’d wanted me to do that, but it didn’t help mend our broken relationship.

Nothing would help that right now.

I flipped off Brennan and turned toward my trailer once again. The wolves stayed silent until I’d put some distance between us, and then I heard them working on Alex and making sure he would wake up. I shook my head, sighed, and fished the keys to my truck out of my pocket. Beer and football wouldn’t put me far enough away from my pack and right now, I wanted to be away from them.

Throwing the truck in reverse, I sped out of my parking space and then gunned it as I flew down the road. I didn’t even bother swerving to miss Alex and his posse. They yanked his still-limp body out of my way a second before my front tire got his foot.

Huh. Serves him right for thinking he could challenge me.

And as I drove out of the woods and turned toward the town, I wondered if I really should challenge Scarlett. No one could give me a fair fight except for her.

And perhaps being alpha was exactly what my wolf needed right now.