After All This Time

Uncomfortable

Dear me,

Yesterday Chloe kissed me. I didn’t know what to do, I still don’t quite know what to do. I woke up this morning in the couch and I was laying on Chloe’s lab. I can’t date Chloe, they’d throw me out of this house and this is the only house that I’ve liked living in, in those 5 years of being in the foster system. Chloe said we should just keep it a secret. I honestly just don’t know what to do.

We’re all sitting down at the kitchen table for breakfast and we’re also discussing the trip to London. “because I had to make some changes in the trip, we’ll have 2 hotel rooms.” Jack starts. “Mom, Steph and me in one room and Chloe and Emma in the other room. Is that okay for everyone?” He asks looking mainly at me and Chloe cause they know we haven’t been the best of friends these past months.

“Yes totally.” Chloe says happily. I’m honestly a little scared to share a room with Chloe.

“Yeah that’s good.” I say smiling. I feel Chloe’s hand on my thigh under the table.

“Okay that’s settled then.” Jack says. “We’ll have to discuss everything we’ll do there.” He says. I can’t focus much on what he says since Chloe is stroking my thigh with her hand. Can she stop that.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I say as an excuse to get away from Chloe so she’d stop stroking my thigh.

I stand in front of the mirror. “What does she even see in me?” I say to myself as I look at myself in the mirror. “This is bad, this is so bad I’m going to get kicked out.” I say and turn my back to the mirror. I sigh and close my eyes. Yes I liked the kiss and her stroking my hair when I fell asleep but I really don’t want to go away from here. I take a deep breath and go back out.

I get back to the kitchen where everyone is still sitting and discussing the trip. “You okay Emma?” Sherley asks. I nod and smile as I sit back down next to Chloe.

It’s a few hours later and I’m playing with Steph in her room. “What about her, what’s her name?” I ask Steph as I hold up a doll with Blonde hair.

“That’s Tiffany.” She says. She has a big doll house and a lot of dolls. Sherley and Jack sure spoil her with a lot of toys.

Chloe walks into the room and sits down next to me and just watches us play with the dolls. “Do you want to play too Chloe?” Steph asks and gives Chloe on of her dolls.

“No I’m good.” Chloe says. I take the doll out of Steph’s hand.

“Come on Chloe, play with your sister.” I say and force the doll in her hand. She eventually takes it and plays with us. I smile to Chloe and she smiles back.

“I want to talk to you.” She whispers to me. I nod. I’m a little scared to be alone with Chloe.

We finished playing with Steph and Chloe drags me to her room after we leave Steph’s room. She shuts her bedroom door and kisses me. I smile as her lips are pressed against mine. She breaks the kiss and smiles.

“I missed kissing you.” She says as her hand is holding my hand and she rubs her thumb against my cheek.

“What did you want to talk about?” I ask her as I go and sit down on her bed. She sits down next to me and holds my hand.

“Why did you get all weird this morning at breakfast when my hand was on your thigh?” She asks.

“I- I don’t know.” I say nervously looking at her hand that’s holding my hand.

“You don’t have to be nervous around me.” She says and I look at her blue eyes.

“I’m just scared.” I say.

“Scared of what?” She asks me as she looks deeply into my eyes.

“A lot of things.” I answer her. I’m scared of falling in love with her and getting hurt, I’m scared of getting kicked out of the house, I’m scared of Steph, Sherley and Jack finding out, I’m scared they would hate me, I’m scared that I can’t me enough.

“You can talk to me.” Chloe says softly.

“I know.” I say quietly and look away from her.

“My parents won’t find out, I promise I won’t let you get kicked out of this house, I want to protect you and love you with everything I have.” Can she read my mind or something? Why is she so sweet? I smile and nod.

“I love that smile.” She says smiling and brushes my hair behind my ear with her hand. I blush and look down. “You’re cute.” She says and kisses my cheek that’s as red as a tomato by now. No one has loved me since my mom passed away. No one showed me they cared. It’s so surreal and overwhelming to me that someone actually likes me and would protect me and love me.

“I don’t get it.” I say out of nowhere. “What?” She asks and looks at me confused.

“Why were you so mean to me when I first came here?” I ask her.

“I’m really sorry about that. You were just so cute when you didn’t say anything and you were so embarrassed of yourself the whole time and I could already tell that Steph was going to love you more than she loves me. I was jealous.” She says.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” I laugh.

“Okay fine. She says laughing too. “That night I came home late and you were sleeping on the couch. I had a talk with my friends about you and they helped me realize that I like you and shouldn’t be such a d**k to you.” I don’t say anything for a while. “Can’t you just accept that I like you?” She says laughing but a little annoyed as well.

“Sure.” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“Very convincing.” She says sarcastically.

“I like you to.” I say and a big smile forms across Chloe’s face. She leans in closer to me and kisses me passionately.

“Tell me what it is and I’ll give it back.” She says smirking.

“No you’ll laugh at me.” I say embarrassed.

“I’m already laughing.” Yes indeed she is laughing at me.

“Yeah that really makes me want to tell you.” I say and roll my eyes.

“Emma, Chloe! Come on we can board the plane.” Jack yells for us. Chloe and I grab our bags and we walk over to the others. We show our tickets to the person at the desk and also our passports and we can board the plane.

Since Jack had to rearrange some things for the trip not all of us are sitting together. We have 2 seats somewhere in the middle next to each other and 3 seats at the front. We already decided that me and Chloe would sit together in the middle and the rest would sit at the front. Chloe sure is excited about it. Talking about Chloe, she still has my diary.

I turn around since she is walking behind me as we all board the plane. I see her reading my diary as she’s walking. “Hey!” I yell at her and shrug my diary out of her hands.

“I’m sorry.” Chloe says. I don’t answer her and just keep walking down the tube thing that leads to the plane. I ignore Chloe completely and just walk towards my seat when I get in the plane. Chloe sits down besides me.

“So you’re falling for me?” Chloe asks referring to something I wrote in this stupid thing a few days ago. I should never have started writing in this stupid diary. I ignore her comment feeling embarrassed. I see her staring at me as I look at her from the corner of my eye.

“Can you stop staring at me?” I say turning to look at her.

“Ypu’re too cute to look away, also can you answer my question?” She says smiling cheekily. I sigh.

“Okay fine yeah, I’m falling for you.” I say embarrassed and sink into my seat.

“Really?” She says with the brightest smile on her face.

“Yeah you can tell me that you think I’m crazy now.” I say.

“I don’t think you’re crazy, I’m falling for you too.” She tells me. I look at her shocked and smile.

“You are?” I say sitting back up straight.

“Well yeah, why do you think I kiss you whenever we’re alone?” She says and I laugh. She leans in closer wanting to kiss me but I move away and stop her. “My parents are in the front, they won’t see us.” Chloe says knowing why I pulled away. “Come here.” She says and grabs me by my neck and kisses me deeply. “Gosh I love kissing you.” Chloe says and kisses me again.

“Me too.” I say after we broke the kiss.

We’re about 4 hours into the flight. Chloe has fallen asleep on my shoulder about an hour ago, she’s cute when she’s sleeping. Chloe can be really annoying sometimes with those annoying comments she makes but god dammit she’s cute. Sherley and Jack have come to us to see if we were doing alright. Luckily they didn’t think too much into the fact that Chloe was sleeping on my shoulder and holding onto my arm.

I’m reading Harry Potter, obviously, what else could I be doing? I’m reading the last book. It’s hard to read though with only one free arm cause Chloe is holding onto my right arms really tight. She starts to move a little and she breathes out slowly then lays still again. I try to move my right arm a little bit so I could turn the page and try not to wake up Chloe. I successfully turn the page without waking her up and I keep reading. As I’m getting to the end of the page I hear Chloe speak.

“After all this time? Always.” I smile at her comment, she probably has no idea what this means since she’s never watched or read Harry Potter but omg that made my heart melt. She looks up at me and I give her the brightest smile. “What does it mean?” She asks me.

“Well it’s someone in the book that was in love with Harry’s mom when they were kids but Harry’s mom fell for someone else and they got married but-“ I suddenly stop talking as I realise Chloe is staring at me. “I’m sorry it’s too hard to explain this, this quote covers the whole plot of the story basically.” I say and chuckle.

“Okay well then you’ll have to make me watch those movies some day with you so I understand.” Chloe says and she gets off my shoulder.

“We’ll do that.” I tell her and smile. She kisses my cheek and I blush.