Scarcely Awaits Your Soul

Chapter 3

THIRD POV

Alyona keeps wondering for Nicodemus absence, she know they are not close but she wanted his presence, it seems that his imaginations became hopeless. It seems that probably she might not see him again. Alyona feels a shattered in heart, it feels like she fell inlove with a stranger instantly. She remembered that Nicodemus once saved her life, she remembered that the haunted past was not visiting in her dreams anymore, she remembered her ride with him, and she remembered the hopeful eyes of Nicodemus. She can’t understand her feelings but it seems that she want to see him everyday, she thinks that Nicodemus making her alive again and giving her a hope to live again. She is aware how old Nicodemus for her, but she know how comfort she was when he once hugged her. Alyona is sure that Nicodemus is making her heart pounding so fast but also making her to be comfortable and in peace with him.

Nicodemus have a heavy heart heading home, it seems that he want to knock on the door of Alyona ang give her a hug. He is aware thay it’s not a long time that they are able to meet buy he also aware that he already see Alyona for years. It was just a moment that when Alyona is drowning and he saved her. Nicodemus missed when Alyona rider with him, he misses when both of them are watching the horizon and waiting the sun to set, he misses when they are staring the city lights from the other island in the hill. And he misses when he hugger her for once. Nicodemus remembers the sorrowful eyes of Alyona, he remembers her rosy lips, her chinky eyes, her nose bridges, her collarbones and especially how delicate she is in her white dress. Nicodemus know how young is Alyona but the body figure of her screaming feminity. She is like an inoccent young woman that he is sure every guy in his town that see her will automatically fall in love with her. Nicodemus considered himself as a fortunate man that able to touch her hands and even ride to his motorcycle. He feels confident when he know that none of the boys and men in their town was able to hold or touch her hands. He know it will be a mistake to see her everyday or to ride with his motorcycle with him, he know it is forbidden to be with her and he know know the consequences if he insisted to be with her.

Alyona keeps wondering for what happened, she missed him. It’s been a week since she keep waiting for Nicodemus to appear in her front in the seashore, but she was not able to see him. It’s almost one month of her summer vacation and one month left to start in her first year in college. She know she will became busy again and might be visiting the shore once a week. She probably know that the chance to see him will became minimal and maybe she will not able to see him again. Alyona feels somber in her heart while thinking of the possible scenarious. It’s already in the afternoon and she know it will be the time again to go in the shore, however she feels hopeless and lazy ro prepare for she know Nicodemus will not be there again. And then she told herself that she will wait for him no matter what, she feels heavy in her heart but she is willing to come again in the shore that possible may be there again. She hurried in the wilderness and run as fast as she can, when she reached to the end of the massive trees and roots, she is out of the breathe while staring the horizon. Only her pounding heart and soundwaves can be heard, her white dress is being blown by the wind and her hair was also became messy. She shouted “where are you?!” in the horizon and her knees became weak making her fall to the sand. She sun is almost set and she is very hopeless for Nicodemus was not there. Her tears is started to falling down through her cheeks when she heard a familar voice telling her “i’m here”. Alyone looked up and was shocked, her heart suddenly became happy, she feels out of the world when she realized Nicodemus is standing in front of her.

Nicodemus squatted in front of her to make their eyes leveled, he touched softly Alyona’s chin and rubbed smoothly. He noticed how sorrowful Alyona’s eyes, he slowly rubbed the tears from Alyona’s cheeks. He feels glad but also very guilty for disappearing without notice to Alyona. He know he shouldn’t be there, he know he should just let her to forget him completely. And he know Alyona must not suffer just because of him. Nicodemus touches Alyona’s face and she is just looking at him when Alyona suddenly hugged him. Alyona is in sober and telling him why did he suddenyl disappeared, Alyona couldn’t stop her tears and her soft voice makes Nicodemus weaken. He was mad at himself for making Alyona keeps waiting for him and now making her cry. Nicodemus told her that he is now for her and also hugged her.

Alyona was very happy and hugged Nicodemus until she realized how sensitive she is, she pull back and asked him why did he disappeared. But Nicodemus just stayed silent and keeps looking her small pretty face. Alyona feels ashamed herself for what she just did in front of Nicodemus but he assured her that there’s nothing wrong. Alyona couldn’t stop her heart for being glad for she able to see him again.

Nicodemus stayed silent when Alyona asked him but he know he need to tell her the truth already, he need to disappear and Alyona needed to forget him. Nicodemus keeps thinking about the right and true words to tell Alyona and he know it’s time to tell her. Nicodemus maintains eye to eye contact to Alyona and he began his words by telling a sorry for her. Alyona feels confused but she’s just listening. Nicodemus asked for a sorry to her and he confessed that he likes her but she is too young for her. “I like you but we barely know each other, I know we feel the same way but you are still young” Nicodemus told her.He told her that he is also in his 30’s and he admitted that he is too old for him. Nicodemus noticed how Alyona was shocked but still continued. He told her that it’s not right to meet her in the shore nor to ride with him out of the town and even watching the city lights in from the hill. He also told her that saving her from ending her life is enough to meet her and not to make any kind of relationship to her. Nicodemus stayed brave to tell her the all the words that she need to her. And he confessed that he likes her in just a short span of time, he admitted that she find her really attractive and unique, he also told her that it was a surreal when they shared a moments.

Alyona shattered when she hears everything but she just keep silent and focusing at him, she can’t believe what she heard and she is trying to process in her mind slowly. Alyona told him that she understand and she might need to forget everything in order not to make any chaos. She feels guilty for waiting him and knowing that Nicodemus is already a grown man , she feel ashamed and bitter of herself. Alyona stood up and started to run as fast as she can in the wilderness, Nicodemus keeps calling at her but all she just wanted is to disappear in front of him. When Alyona is in the middle of the forest, she accidentally slipped when a large root of trees blocked her way, she fell down and tried to stand up but her ankle is twisted, she scream because of pain and noticed that thigh was also stingging, she just realized that her thigh has a sliced. Nicodemus called her and cursed when he found her lying down in the ground. It was dark already and Alyona’s pain of voice can be heard.