I Saw You

BOOK 2-2

“She already did last night. So...” he said totally changing subject, annoyed by Josh’s persistence. “Rachel, my brother for a month has done nothing but talk about you. What amazing qualities do you have to win over him like this?” he asked, even more arrogant. I couldn’t believe it. I was sitting at the table with the man of my dreams and what I was looking at I didn’t like at all.

“Dean!” Josh told him off.

“What? What did I say?”

“No particular quality Dean,” Rachel quickly answered to stand his ground. “I’m a simple girl, just like the others. And then when two people find each other, they like each other... it just happens... there’s no logic explanation.”

“I see. So, are you telling me that you love him?”

I turned pale. Rachel never told ‘I love you’ to anyone. She had a few boyfriends, but she never really fell in love. Moreover, even if with Josh it was different, I didn’t know if she had already told him.

“I... I...” Rachel was panicking; she didn’t know what to answer so I decided to do the only possible thing to take her away from that awful situation.

“Rachel, I need to go to the bathroom, would you come with me?” and without waiting for her to answer me, I dragged her away, seeing just in time with the corner of my eye, Josh ranting against his brother.

We locked ourselves in the bathroom and Rachel was pissed: “God, have you seen what a jerk? Who does he think he is? I can’t believe that this i***t is the wonderful man you talked to me about.”

“Rachel, it was a different situation. With me he’s been kind, but they were about to run over me. I guess it has been for kindness. Anyway I totally agree about the jerk part.”

“What an arrogant. Even if I have to agree. He is handsome,” she said calming down. “It’s incredible... how many chances were there that he was Josh’s bother?”

“Oh... I don’t know... Let me think about it... one in a million?” I answered sarcastic.

“But,” she said laughing, “in the end you managed to get a crush on the typical handsome and damned.”

“And I would add jerk,” I ended laughing.

“Right... jerk, for I minute I forgot it.”

“But come on, maybe he’s not such as a jerk as we believe. Maybe he only had a bad day and he handled bad the thing.”

“Jules Cannygan, don’t try to justify him.”

“I’m not justifying him. I’m only saying that we should give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides the evening just started, right?”

“Right. You know what? Now we’ll go there and I’ll show it to that one bull. I will give him the third degree. I want to know everything about him. It’s my moment to be the bitch.”

“Perfect, but don’t be too strict. I remind you that he’s the brother of the man you love, his family, all he has... your words, remember?”

“Right, right. I don’t have to overdo this. Let’s go now,” and she brought me out of the bathroom.

When we went back to the table, we found Josh and Dean in silence. They had argued for sure in our absence.

“Girls, I allowed myself to order for you too,” Josh spoke immediately. “I know the specialty of the house, so I thought of shorten the time. Jules, I hope you’re not allergic to seafood.”

“No Josh, actually... I love them.”

“Great!”

With my incredible surprise, Dean cleared his voice up to draw the attention and spoke, “I wanted to apologize with both of you for my arrogant attitude before. I’m not usual to treat people like this, especially women. I just had a bad day at work. This doesn’t justify me, but... I hope you could forgive me...”

“No problem Dean,” Rachel answered quickly. “The important thing is to have clarified the situation... so... you know, before you said that Josh often talks about me, and it’s a funny thing because with me he often talks about you, so... why don’t you tell us something?”

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, I don’t know... typical things... how old you are... what’s your job... your hobbies...”

“I’m 30. I work at the Wayford Building, downtown, in the advertising sector.”

“Advertisement, interesting. And what position do you have exactly?”

“I’m the Assistant Director.”

“Interesting,” Rachel said giving me a look.

“Are you satisfied now?”

“I guess not... there are still a lot of things that I don’t know about you. For example... do you have a girlfriend?”

I couldn’t believe it. She’d asked him for real. I wanted to kill her.

“No,” Dean answered stone cold.

“Oh!” Rachel replied, “And how’s that? A handsome guy like you...”

“Let’s say that I’m not exactly the girlfriend-type...”

“And how’s that?” Rachel was pushing it too much and I had to stop her before the unfixable would happen.

“Rachel, come on... I don’t think that these things concern you.”

“No Jules, nevermid,” Dean said without even looking at me. “My brother asked me to be kind with his girl and I wouldn’t be if I won’t satisfy her curiosities.”

Even Josh stepped in; clearly he’d realized how bad the situation was going to be, and tried to end this dispute too, “Dean come on, let it be. Rachel won’t be offended if you don’t answer to the question.”

Dean was still cold staring at Rachel without the slightest sign of a back-down, when he answered as if Josh had never spoken, “Do you want to know why I don’t have a girlfriend, Rachel? Why I’m not the girlfriend-type? Because with women let’s say that... I like to have fun... sleep with them... and the day after even forget their name,” the way he said it gave me goosebumps... and almost made me feel shamed for my instant interest in that man. I was deceived by his good looks... maybe like all the other girls he had s*x with.

“So, you’re the typical jerk that uses women entirely for s****l purposes...” Rachel was hardened... and she wouldn’t stop at nothing.

“Call me how you want. Anyway I don’t use anyone. The women that sleep with me know exactly how I am and what I want from them. They are consenting. I for sure don’t force anyone to do something that they don’t want to...”

She fell silent... Rachel didn’t know what to say...

“Okay Dean, enough now,” Josh stepped in annoyed, “no one cares to know your ways of approach towards women, so stop it.”

“I only answered to a question...” he said, and looked at me. He made a glacial look, just as the rest of the evening. It embarrassed me, so I looked away.

The evening went on in a calm way, with many silences that Josh tried to fill up with some funny joke or with some question about my family and me. Dean didn’t step in not even once, even if he was listening... and I had the impression that from time to time he looked at me... but maybe it was only a feeling.

When we went out of the restaurant, Josh asked us for a minute to talk alone with Rachel. Clearly he wanted to make sure that she was fine after what had happened.

“Can I leave you alone with Jules or you’ll make her run for the hills?” Josh asked telling off his brother.

“Ahahah, so funny little brother,” Dean replied, annoyed by the joke.

“I’ll steal her from you only for a few minutes Jules” Josh said in a kind way.

“Take your time,” and I saw them moving. Dean and I were alone, and I did everything I could to avoid his look. Although the way he had behaved, I would have died if I had stared at him in the eyes. While I was looking in the air hoping that Josh and Rachel would come back to us as quick as possible, Dean broke the silence, and said the last thing I ever expected, “That dress looks good on you...”

I was shocked for a moment, then I replied: “Thank you.”

“I didn’t want to be rude earlier, but Rachel did nothing but tease me all evening.”

“Let’s say that you teased each other,” I answered smiling.

There was a moment of silence and then he started again, “Why did you come to this dinner?”

“For Rachel, to stay close to her. This evening was important to her.”

“Yes, for Josh too... I have to admit that Rachel has quite a temper!”

“Yeah. She doesn’t let people walk all over her.”

“Yes, I have noticed... and what about you?”

“What about me?”

“You didn’t speak almost at all this evening, besides answering to the questions that my brother made you.”

“It was your evening. I had nothing to do with it.”

“But you came...”

“To be close to Rachel,” I restated, this time looking into his eyes.

There were some more moments of silence. Then Dean started again... and what he said shook me, “You are really beautiful Jules. Really.... even though... you’re not exactly my type...”

“Sorry?” I answered shook... where was he going with this? What did he want from me?

“I don’t like blondies. No offence, obviously.”

“Non taken,” I didn’t know what to say. That man was a mystery to me... but I decided to face him up and answer back...

“And can I ask you why you don’t like them?”

“I don’t know. It has always been like that. I’ve never been with a blonde before.”

“So, you’re telling me that you only had dark-haired girls?”

“I only had s*x with dark-haired girls, yes. And some redheaded...” I almost forgot that he doesn’t get engaged with girls... he sleeps with them!

“And is it some sort of rule that you have, or has it just happened?”

“Let’s say that I always had the chance to choose... and having to choose... I would never choose a blondie. Even if... I have to admit that if among the girls I have met in clubs you were there... you would have put me in real trouble...” But what was he doing? So, how should I interpret his words? Was he hitting on me? Or did he only want to play? Maybe he was teasing me waiting for my reaction. I couldn’t believe it: that man was so distant from the kind guy that just yesterday saved my life and was worried if I was fine... I wasn’t in time to say anything because, lucky for me, Josh and Rachel came back.

“Girls, where do you have the car?” said Josh smiling. I was happy that they had made up.

“Across the street,” I answered.

“We’ll accompany you,” Josh said nodding to his brother.

When we said goodbye, Dean was aloof, both with Rachel and me. He stretched out the hand in sign of distance... even if I have to admit that he did it in such a gentlemanly way that he seemed almost chivalrous.

As soon as we got home, Rachel told me about clarifying with Josh and I, to respond, told her about my conversation with Dean out of the place.

“Is he crazy? Where did he get the idea of speaking to you in such a way?”

“Don’t ask me...”

“I’m telling you Jules, that man was just trying to piss you off. He’s a born provocateur. He teased you hoping to see your reaction...”

“What should I have said to him?”

“You did the right thing not to encourage him. i***t! But tell me, couldn’t I have a better brother-in-law?”

“Come on, you’ll see that sooner or later you will get along. Besides, both of you have strong characters, the crash was unavoidable.”

“Ummm, it could be. Anyway I really hope it will be like that. Josh cares about him, and even if he admitted his jerk behavior, he told me that if I knew him better I would find out that he’s a good person.”

“I hope it for you. Now I’ll go to bed. I’m exhausted. It has been a long, full day.”

“Yeah, don’t tell me...”

“Goodnight Rachel.”

“Goodnight Jules.”

***

In his mind

When I got home I crashed on the bed. I didn’t want to hear Josh’s complaints anymore, he had already thrown them in my face, in the car, on the drive back. I closed my eyes and prayed God to make me fall asleep right away. I didn’t want to think about that evening again, but in spite of myself, I did. Among all the people that I could have met at that restaurant... her... exactly her... why? I was so relieved of letting her go the evening before without messing up. Why did God decide to put her on my path? Tonight she was even prettier than yesterday, if it’s possible. I did nothing but look at her and think that the only thing I was truly interested in, in that ridiculous night, was her... I wanted her... in a way that worried me.... I never wanted any other woman like this before... and then the way I spoke to her... what was I thinking to do? I might have seemed crazy in her eyes... I shouldn’t have said those things... I shouldn’t have exposed myself like that. And then that thing about blondes. I might have seemed pathetic. Maybe I should talk about this with doctor Herber. It’s the first time in my whole life that I’ve felt attracted by a blonde. But what am I saying? I don’t like her, full stop. I don’t need to talk about this with anyone because there’s nothing to talk about. It was a temporary thing, that would finish fast... even faster than how it started.

Of course if Rachel and Josh were being serious, I would have been forced to meet her more than one time. And I didn’t want to! I wanted her but at the same time I didn’t. I felt so confused. I opened my eyes and saw her in front of me... so beautiful... and when she smiled... the nicest smile I’ve ever seen. I closed my eyes again trying to chase away that image. But in its place a more detailed one appeared... her lips... I would have killed to kiss those lips... and thinking about this... I fell asleep.