FATED SEATS

CHAPTER 11

ARA'S POV

The high from winning "Buwanang Wika" had been short-lived. The pressure to maintain my grades, the fear of disappointing my family, and the lingering effects of my past traumas began to creep back into my life, slowly eroding my newfound sense of hope.

My mental health issues, which I had been desperately trying to suppress, resurfaced with a vengeance. My heart always ached, a dull, persistent pain that shadowed my every waking moment. And when I reached our classroom each morning, my heart would uncontrollably race, as if anticipating some unknown danger.

Silent anxiety attacks became a regular occurrence. My hands would tremble slightly, my breath would come in short, shallow gasps, and my mind would race with a million different worries, each one more terrifying than the last. I felt like I was drowning, slowly sinking into a sea of despair.

The academic workload only exacerbated my condition. Pre-Calculus, a subject I had always struggled with, made me feel utterly incompetent. The complex equations and abstract concepts seemed impossible to grasp, and I couldn't help but feel like I was falling behind. I felt like I was dumb because of what happened in the past.

The constant comparison also contributed to Ara's problem.

My General Math and General Chemistry classes made me feel small and insignificant. My classmates seemed to understand the material so easily, while I struggled to keep up. I felt like I was a fraud, a pretender who didn't belong in their world.

And then there was Komunikasyon at Pananaliksik, a subject that triggered my anxiety like no other. The thought of my adviser being disappointed filled me with dread.

Even P.E., a subject that was supposed to be fun and relaxing, became a source of stress and self-doubt. I had always been clumsy and uncoordinated, and I could never seem to follow the steps in the dance practices, no matter how easy they were. My lack of physical ability made me feel insecure and inadequate, further eroding my self-esteem.