Chapter 24
1294 Words
Rachel
I had tried to ignore Enrique as much as I could.
There was a sense of betrayal that still lived in my chest. Watching him walk away from me, out the door and towards another woman pained me. Even if I was the one who had brought that woman into his life in the first place.
I wasn’t angry at Cecilia, I didn’t wish her any harm either. She was just a girl looking out for herself in a world that only gave her so many options. And I was the one who offered the Viscount Cortez as an option. One day I was out with mother at a seamstress shop and I overheard two young ladies gossiping about how Cecilia had a probably lost her innocence to Enrique, and I stepped in and told them they were being ridiculous. This angered me for two reasons. One, I knew that Cecilia wouldn’t do that, she was worried about getting married, she wouldn’t ruin her chances by allowing society to hold something like that over her head. And two, I didn’t want to imagine Enrique being with a woman he just met.
I was finishing getting ready one morning in my room when Oliver entered. He smiled at me when he noticed that I was wearing a pink satin dress and my hair was in a twisted braid with pearl pins decorating it. I knew mother and him feared I would crawl back into my dark hole and begin dressing in dull colors and hiding in the shadows. But I couldn’t, I had tried. But no matter what I did, no matter how sad I felt, I didn’t want to do that to myself. Over the past couple of weeks I actually enjoyed smiling, talking to people and appreciating how beautiful I looked. I didn’t want to hide that anymore. No matter how much I was hurting.
“You look beautiful sister,” he said. He leaned against my wardrobe. “It is nice to see you like this, so bright. I forgot how that looked.”
I smiled back at him. “I had forgotten too.” I said. “So what is it that you want to tell me? Why are you here?”
His smile faltered a bit but he answered my question. “The Viscount is hosting a tea party this weekend, all of the influential families are going to be here. I thought you might want some time to prepare before having so many people over.”
“Yes, I would definitely need time to prepare- thank you.” I turned back to the mirror but he continued to speak. “I also heard people gossiping, that Enrique may propose to Cecilia during the tea party.”
My body froze and I felt my stomach drop. I didn’t know why the news would catch me off guard, it was what has been planned since the beginning. I knew this was going to happen.
I tried my best to smile. “Well, I hope it is a grand tea party then. We wouldn’t want anything to go wrong.”
Oliver just looked at me. “You know you don’t have to fake in front of me right?
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said not trying to make eye contact with him. He stood behind me and looked at me through our reflection in the mirror.
“Rachel, if anyone knows you it is mother and I. Now mother has refrained from saying anything, but I won’t. I will not let you run away from happiness. I don’t think I need to say more for you to understand what I am talking about.”
I didn’t know what to say.
He just stood behind me and waited for a reaction. When he didn’t get one he began to walk towards the door.
“Wait!”I called out after him and stood up from my seat.
He turned around, “yes?”
“How did you know?” I asked. My voice was a soft whisper. “How did you know, even before me?”
He just smiled at me. “I think when you are in the situation the emotions can be so overwhelming it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what you are feeling.” He walked back towards me and gently squeeze my hand. “But to those around you, the ones paying attention, it is so easy to see that you are enamored with him.”
Tears began to fill my eyes, I hadn’t known exactly what I was feeling, and I was scared to dig deeper and find out. “I am so scared,” I said. “I am so scared of all of this. I didn’t see it coming.”
Oliver pulled me into a hug. “No one sees these things coming Rachel. They just happen, and only the lucky few are able to recognize it and hold onto it.”
“I’ve lost him, I’ve already lost him.” I said, the words are hurting as I left my lips.
He pulled back and shook his head. “You haven’t lost him yet, not completely.”
“What do you expect me to do Oliver? He is to be engaged.”
“But he isn’t yet!” He said. “If you love him, if you truly love him, the way I know you do then you will tell him. He deserves to know and you deserve to say it out loud.”
My chest began to hurt. “What if he rejects me? How can I live with myself knowing that the only man I have ever loved doesn’t feel the same for me?”
He gave me a sad smile and shrugged. “I guess you would need to hear that as well. You deserve to know how he feels so that you can either be with him, or move on.”
Tears began to fall from my eyes. I didn’t know when everything had happened, I didn’t remember beginning to feel anything for him. It’s just all hit me at once. And when it did I was so scared to do anything about it.
Oliver tipped my chin in a playful manner as he always had since we were kids. “Chin up my dear sister,” he said smiling. “If anything goes wrong, the pain will be there. That sort of pain never truly leaves, but you can heal with time. And you will have me right next to you the entire way.”
He somehow managed to make me smile. “Is it ridiculous? That at my age I am as lovestruck and terrified as a young girl on her first season out? Shouldn’t I be reacting a different way?” I asked.
He shook his head. “It is never ridiculous to feel this way, and it is never too late to fall in love. I just hope, that unlike me, you are able to hold onto it and be brave enough to fight for it. You are strong, determined and beautiful. You deserve nothing but happiness in this world.”
He walked out, leaving me with his kind words ringing in my ears.
He was right, I was strong and I was determined. A large part of me feared that the man I loved would turn me away. That just when I had worked up the courage to tell him how I felt, he would have changed his mind or tell me that he never felt the same way about me.
It would hurt, I knew it would.
But I knew I had to tell him as soon as possible.
- Writer
