When She's Gone

Chapter 1

"Raiz... I made you a coffee, I think you would like it since it is your favourite" I said to Raizen who is now having a frown on his face.It's been two years since we got married and until now, I am still trying to ask him a forgiveness

It was my fault why our situation became like this.Last year, I got into a car accident and it was a good thing that I was able to recover quickly. The bad thing is, I do now have selective amnesia. I can't even remember that day...

yeah I remember everyone except that moment where I and Raizen had s*x. I wanted to know what exactly happened before that

I was now taken aback at my senses when I heard Raizen's cold voice

"Do you think I will love you with this thing? a coffee? Don't hope Kinsley! I will never see you as woman and my wife. You will always be a wanton woman for me" He said it with a smug on his face. I hid the pain from my face

"I--I know but I won't give up Raiz. I will do anything for you to forgive me" I said sincerely and then he stood up and went to face me straight. He laughed sarcastically at first, and then he threw the coffee I made for him on the floor

I gasped when I felt the heat of the spilled coffee on my feet. It was hot but I endured it

"You are the reason why I cannot have Selina right now. You knew that I am in love with her. YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU KINSLEY? I'VE BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO YOU, BUT WHY!!! You made my life miserable, so I think it is better to make you suffer too. Watch me, Kinsley! I will make you cry and cry until you will beg me to divorce you!" and after he said it, he left me alone

I shed my tears. I remembered during college days, he was really in love with Selina. Every time when we are together, he always talks mainly about her. He says how beautiful Selina is and he also dreams of marrying her. He wants them to have five children. He also wants him to build Selina a big house.

Selina was his everything and I am just his nothing

Fastforward, It is nine o'clock in the evening already yet Raizen is still nowhere to be found. I am now worried, I hope he is okay. I can't help but to dialled his phone number and it was ringing

I was glad that he answered it immediately but the gladness went gone when I heard a familiar voice of a woman

"Yeah I love you too, Raizen" I went stiff when I heard it. That voice! It was Selina Davidson. They're together at this hour?

"ohh f-f**k" I heard a male groan then next is a woman who is moaning like she's having a wild sex

"Raizen baby. Oh...oh..oh I think I'm cumming" my face went pale after hearing those dirty noises from them. My body froze for a second and I couldn't help but to get hurt and hurt again

Despite the pain I am feeling right now, I don't know why I can't end the call. Is this how masochist I am?

"Selina sweetheart.. f**k! ride me faster baby. After this I will lick that red p***y of yours" after that, I directly ended the line. He is cheating on me. He doesn't love me.. yeah I know that but why can't he wait for a divorce to do that nasty things to his beloved Selina. Is this the beginning of his revenge...

I went inside to my own room. Yes, we have a separate bedroom and he yelled at me before that, I am not allowed to enter there. He said I am just his wife on paper and I don't have the rights to interfere everything related to him

He f****d me once but that was weeks ago and he was drunk that night. He f****d me rough, he wasn't gentle when it comes to me. He even moaned Selina's name when he came inside me

He said, he f****d me because he imagined me as his sweetheart Selina. It was the most disrespectful thing that he did to me and yet, I still love him

Why do I have to suffer like this? Is it because I am so stupid for loving him

I am now sobbing. Their moaning and their dirty, nasty voices still lingering in my ears. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't get it. My eyes are full of tears, I never thought I am being alone again

Mommy and daddy died when I was in a grade school. I have no one to lean on way back then. Someone adopted me and I thought, they are good people but they're actually not. They will always hit my back with a baseball bat, ironing my thigh and the worst is, they will lock me in the basement.Good thing is, the police discovered the real deal of those evil people. The police sent me to the social worker and for the second time, I was adopted again. This time, they are much worse than the previous.the old man molested me. Touching me from my head to toe. I am glad that someone discovered that he is a f*****g pervert. The old man was arrested and after that events of my life, I tried to become dependent

for such a young age, I experienced worse of my life. Work, study and being a street kid. Not until I became a middle schooler. I did find a suitable work for me and because of that, I able to rent a cheap apartment. Good thing that the old lady who is the owner, was so very understanding

Raizen. He didn't know those details about me. I am afraid that he will judge me, and it also a good thing that he wasn't aware of it or else, he will use my past against me

What will happen to me in the future? Do I have the right to be happy genuinely? I guess I will forever be miserable