A Childhood Relationship Chapter I: THE BEGINNING AND DISTANCE

Chapter 8

CHAPTER VIII: AN ARGUMENT

I can't believe I learned a lot from watching the news while waiting for him to arrive. Eventually, I head the lock on the door open and he appeared from it. Before proceeding towards the kitchen, he apologized to me for being late. I didn't get the point as to why he apologized when I know he always comes home late. With that, my eyes drew me to the wall clock only to see that it was already three hours later than usual. No wonder my stomach was already growling while I was watching the news. He was already preparing the ingredients when I asked him regarding the money he took from the girls he played around with. There, he fell silent at first before finally confessing to me about how it was true and that he has a huge pile of cash inside his drawers which he earned ever since he was in middle school. He asked me why I knew about it before he realized that rumors from school can spread like wildfire, especially if it is true. Thus, for some reason, he reassured me how he longer does it ever since I went to live with him since no longer goes out with other girls. Since I already found out about the truth, I told him I don't actually care and that I was just curious about what he has been doing in the past. I wondered, why would he take money from them. It seemed like he is actually extorting money from them while at the same time engaging in s****l acts where he clearly has the upper hand. Then, it came to me that he really isn't the same childhood friend I came to know as he drastically changed into a person I don't really like and this just confirms it even more. In fact, it is not entirely impossible for his smile from when he was sick to have only stemmed from him recuperating from the fever at the time and nothing more.

He already started cooking the food as I heard the cooking oil making a sound. Then, as if in the spur of the moment, I asked him about how he may have been using the money to abort the accidental pregnancies he caused. That it was an intelligent and wise thing to do for his age at the time. For some reason, he turned the stove off and slammed all the utensils he was holding. As for the pan, he threw it away and the cooking oil splashed on the other side of the floor. He even pushed away all the ingredients he prepared that I heard glasses which he used to contain the vegetables to break. I felt shocked with what he had just done that I felt really terrified and regretted what I just told him as I clearly went out of line with my words.

Eventually, he walked towards me and so I tried to move away, yet my legs wouldn't move no matter what I try to do. It's like the same thing that happened when I saw him that night in that I felt paralyzed. However, this time it was out of fear as to what he can do and that I didn't know what to do as he proceeded near me. As soon as he got really close to where I was, he harshly grabbed my shirt. Then, without a single thought, he reprimanded me in a way that really frightened me. He shouted at me as to what I wanted to imply with those words. He asked me if that is how irresponsible I thought of him and that if he was really that sort of person in my eyes. That he was someone who would tell the the girls he played around with to abort their child when they suddenly got pregnant in an accident. The look in his eyes is something I hadn't seen yet, it clearly showed how mad he was at me. Suddenly, he ripped open my shirt and touched my frontals that the tears welling up in my eyes started to flow down. I couldn't resist what he was doing as I'm in the wrong this time around. Then, he forcefully kissed me without stopping while holding my head. I was really shaking from fear at the time. After a while, he stopped what he was doing and told me to do whatever I want; but to never ask him about something as serious as aborting a pregnancy. He told me that he made sure that he wouldn't do something that would cause his parents any trouble. Then, before he went to his room, he told me how he would never apologize for what he did to me this time. As soon as he went upstairs, I heard a loud thud on his door.

Honestly, I was really frightened that I wasn't able to move from the sofa even after he left. It was the first time that I saw him that furious and it is coupled by the fact that we live in the same house. He really is a dangerous person or so I thought, but I really was the one who agitated him in the first place. I looked at myself from the large mirror on the living room and I saw how messed up I was. My hair was tangled, my face filled with tears, my chin has a hint of saliva, and my shirt which was torn and fully exposed my frontals. I hurried to my room to wash my face and change into a new shirt. As for the kitchen, it was in a mess that I tried to clean it up after I gained my composure. It took me a while, especially after how the mess has mixed with each other and I have to separate them. He never went out of his room that night, not even to buy his dinner at the convenience store. So, I went to the convenience store and bought food for the two of us. After eating my share, I went to his bedroom and placed the food on his doorsteps. I told him that I bought food and that I will leave it there. However, there was no response from him so I just went back to my room, since he is still mad.

The following morning, I saw the food I bought from the convenience store and he didn't touch it one bit. Also, I went to school without any breakfast set aside and discovered how he went earlier to school. For some reason, I knew that he was avoiding me. Before I went home, I bought some food for my dinner since judging from the breakfast, he wouldn't cook dinner for me as well. While eating, he arrived without saying a word before he told me that he will really never apologize for what he did to me and that the food I bought for him wouldn't change his mind. It struck me since I did not think of that, so I shouted at him and told him that I wasn't waiting for an apology in the first place. He then went to the kitchen to prepare food, obviously for himself alone. In order to fix this problem, I called my friends and asked them what I needed to do at this situation. Each and every one of them told me that to no offense, I was insensitive with what I said so I should be the one to apologize to him. After all, I hurt him real bad from what I just said which didn't bear any truth. I thanked them after every call and decided to talk to him. However, he wouldn't let me apologize as I cannot even talk to him even for a bit.

A week passed with me eating food from outside until a morning arrived after a week where food was prepared even though he already left. He even prepared packed lunch for me by the table. I wondered why he would do it now. Still, he would avoid me whenever I would approach him at school, so I decided to apologize to him by the time he comes back to his house. With that, I waited for him in the living room, again while watching television. The sound of the lock opening surprised me as I was anxiously waiting yet I'm not yet prepared. But, I cannot seem to apologize to him as he proceeded to the kitchen to prepare dinner without a word and without even looking at me. While he was preparing the food, I apologized to him for being insensitive with what I said and that I wasn't level-headed when I spoke those words to him. He stopped what he was doing for a while before he continued and told me it was okay since I knew how I was the one at fault and did not let my pride get the better of me. Although, he did exclaimed to me how he has no excuses for what he had done in the past as they are all true, except for the abortion part. Our short conversation ended but I felt relieved and the pain in my chest suddenly disappeared as the weight in my heart was lifted. Actually, the burden I had in my heart is much heavier that when I fought with my friends, this time it is on a different level. But, I'm not sure as to why is that the case.

I then proceeded to the table as soon as he finished cooking the food and we ate together and it felt like it was forever since we last did it. I thought to myself that next time, I'll think about what I'll say so that I wouldn't regret it in the end. He was kind enough to prepare food for me despite what I said to him the week before, so I asked him something. I asked him why he prepared breakfast for me even when I hadn't apologized yet. There, he told me how no matter how mad he was at me, he cannot endure not preparing food for me to eat. I felt touched with what he told me so I thought that maybe he will no longer lust over me or so I thought. That night, I don't know if it was mere coincidence or because I apologized to him, but I heard the sound from his room again. I thought about why he never gets tired from doing it and that he would never change no matter what.

The following day, our everyday life returned back to normal. Then, a girl approached me and asked me if I can give the money she owes him when she asked him to satisfy her. She told me that she heard from her friends that we live in the same house for some reason so she asked me. With that chance, I asked her what he did in order to prevent making a mistake. There, she told me how aside from the rubber contraceptive, he first asked her to drink pills before and after the act. Perhaps it was the reason why even after being really active, he didn't create any accident as opposed to my ex-boyfriend who probably did it only once to his girlfriend that succeeded me. Surely, experience really plays an important part in this matter. With that, I thanked her for telling that to me and she smiled back at me. Then, I saw her walk away and a guy approached and hugged her. I thought about how he was her boyfriend and that he accepted her even after giving away her first time to somebody else. Seeing them reminded me of how I saw my ex-boyfriend with his girlfriend walking together a few days ago and I saw how her stomach had already started to grow bigger. I noticed because they nodded at me when I walked towards them and our paths crossed. I was ready to go home before I felt dizzy and I collapsed on the floor as I was on my period although it was a first for me to actually collapse.

The second I woke up, I was already in my room and there he was, taking advantage of my defenseless body again. I looked in front of me and he was already licking my body that I shouted at him to stop. I realized what he wanted to do because I wasn't wearing my blouse on my top. However, no matter what I said he wouldn't budge even though I already started hitting him as hard as I could. I felt really ashamed and vulnerable at the same time as I was still weak from collapsing earlier yet I felt good with what he was doing. Then, he grabbed both my arms with one hand and continued what he was doing. I felt really scared and hot as he was licking me in a way that made me feel really weird that I let out some noise. Soon. he took off my brassiere and began sucking one of frontals yet I couldn't even move my legs as my body is shivering.

Suddenly, he stopped so I thought I was already safe as he finally got his senses back. However, he began to unbutton his uniform to reveal his body in front of me. I tried to tell him several times to please stop what he is doing, but what he was doing was preventing me from doing so as he was too engrossed in it. Soon, he hugged me and then he passionately kissed me. I struggled as I was having a hard time breathing yet I couldn't say anything as his tongue was moving inside my mouth and I was pulled into moving my tongue as well as I was caught in the heat of the moment. Tears began to flow from me eyes due to what he was doing yet he wouldn't stop no matter what. On the other hand, his hot and sweating body was pressing against mine and I felt really weird with the sticky sensation.

Then, I heard him unzip his pants where I actually panicked and through my adrenaline rush, was able to force my arms to break free from his grips and slapped him as hard as I could. I was already crying, so I told him how I told his parents about the truth regarding the cooking accident and that this is how he would repay me. I told him how I was really worried that he would be disowned for all the things that he had done yet he would force himself on me. Without any second thoughts, I continued slapping him that I did not notice he was actually looking away with an apologetic look on his face. Out of anger, I stopped slapping him till he removed his uniform in its entirety and he asked me to hit him with something so that he could stop what he is doing. I pushed him away and told him to just leave my room as soon as possible or else I would call our parents and tell them all about the truth and see to it that he gets punished by his own parents and not me. Seeming that he regained his composure, he left me on the bed and walked away. But, before he left, he apologized to me for the unforgivable thing he has done to me. That he has no excuses after he lusted over my defenseless body and tried to do me. He finally went outside my room, yet he forgot his uniform on my bed.

I touched my body and I was all wet from all his sweat and saliva that I felt really disgusted so I hurried to the bathroom to wash myself as soon as possible. I stayed there for quite some time but for some reason the memory of what just happened cannot leave my head no matter what. I also cannot forgive myself for actually enjoying what he was doing when he kissed me. My tears wouldn't even stop flowing even after all the time that passed. Then, I remembered what he said to me when my boyfriend dumped me. Although he told me he wouldn't let any bastard to make me cry, it was ironic as he is the one who is doing it now. Then, I asked myself what kind of love is he showing to me, and that if he really loved me, he wouldn't be consumed by lust to the point of making me feel really bad.

I just finished changing into new clothes when he called me for dinner and there he apologized to me again for what he has done and that he really has no excuses whatsoever since he was consumed by lust when he carried me from school to my room. Then, I remembered how earlier, I collapsed at school. I admired his honesty, but whatever he did to me was still wrong even though he was my childhood friend and that I was staying at his house. I stayed silent and didn't look at him afterwards as he was so perverted and he keeps on taking advantage of my vulnerability as a weak girl. I was frustrated about how he doesn't want to respect me as a girl. I even lost track of how many times he did this to me.

Then, he confessed his love for me once again yet I know my answer already so I rejected him on the spot without thinking at all. After all, I want to find someone who will love me earnestly and not just for my body no matter what. Of course, it was his exact opposite as he is a person who I don't want to be with, more so to be in a relationship with. He did not talk afterwards as I rejected him without any thought at all. Then, I thought about how he has the nerve to confess his feelings of love to me right after he took advantage of my body earlier.