A Childhood Relationship Chapter I: THE BEGINNING AND DISTANCE

Chapter 9

CHAPTER IX: A START OF SOMETHING NEW

For the past few days, we slowly resolved our issue through his subtle talk with me. After all, it's hard not to talk to him specially when I live at his house and does a lot of necessary things for me. Although, I still make it a habit not to fully open up myself to him. Actually, the moment I finish eating the food, I would place the dishes I used on the sink and leave him behind. He would stay silent afterwards as he is sharp enough to realize that our conversation just ended. Well, at least there has been progress between us despite what he did to me a few days ago. I thought about how if I wasn't able to stop him, I would have lost my first time to him. Worse was the fact that my fist time would be forced which obviously is undesirable. Then, a day arrived when I was surprised to see him give me something right after he got home from his soccer practice. He told me to treat it as an object of his apology for what he just did. Seeming that it was really in bad taste, especially on how I'd remember what he did to me whenever I would glance at it, I threw it away on the floor. I got mad and told him how something like that is not necessary and it is only an annoyance. I turned off the television and went straight to my room while he picked up the apology gift with a sad look on his face, I know because I caught a glimpse of his expression as I was cautious if ever he would get violent again like last time. Personally, I felt relieved the moment I entered my room and locked the door since he didn't do anything to me.

Eventually, the days passed again without any issues until someone confessed to me at the classroom. I became speechless as he was someone that I admired with his good looks and amazing talent in sports. I was thinking if ever I would accept his feelings and finally feel happiness for the first time or reject him in order to resolve my issues by myself. Then, he suddenly hurried towards me and told the person I don't want to date anyone at the moment. Seeming that he is meddling with my own affairs, I told him to shut-up and don't interfere with my own life. However, he didn't leave just like that as he grabbed my arm and brought me to a secluded hallway. This very hallway made me remember my memories from the last time he brought me to the same place. It's not that I cannot break away from his grip, rather I did not want to do so since it would cause a commotion inside my classroom with my classmates and all.

I told him to leave me alone yet he just told me something unexpected. He told me that he'll never allow me to date that person as he'll surely make me cry as that person doesn't love me. I slapped him after he told me that since whatever he was saying is groundless. So, I asked him for his justification for that but he just stayed silent which shows that he doesn't actually have one. I even told him that he is the person who constantly makes me cry despite his big words. I thought that he'll finally leave but he didn't and just told me to stay away from other guys as it makes him feel jealous. It's like he thought about how my knowing that he is jealous would have an effect on me, Whatever he was saying pissed me off so I got furious and told him that whoever I associate with is none of his concern. I also told him that I can sleep with any guy I want and at any time I want.

He then told me that he will not allow me to do so no matter how much I object. Then, he confessed to me again and there he presented me with a gold ring with a huge diamond and put it on my ring finger. It was surprisingly a perfect fit, yet I thought about how he was trying to pick me up so I took it off and threw it on his face. He aggressively grabbed my arm to the point that I cannot break away from him so I decided to bite his arm as much as I could to the point that I even started to taste his blood. It was the first time that I bit someone without any hesitation at all and even continued to apply more force. However, his grip only got stronger despite the obvious pained look on his face till I felt and heard his bone make a sound so I unconsciously stopped.

Eventually, I did not realize that I was moving desperately while he was holding me tight till we fell on the floor. He was right on top of me and the blood was dripping. As if aroused, he started to hug and kiss me. I tried to call for help but no one would come. As a last resort, I asked him why he was doing all that despite my not consenting to it. He then told me how he cannot stop as he is overwhelmed with lust towards me. So, I told him that if he really likes me, he wouldn't do something I don't want to do. Then, he asked me if ever he'll stop I'll consider his feelings. I didn't answer for a while so he continued what he was doing. After much thought, I told him that I'll try to understand him if he'll stop harassing me. With just those words, he finally stopped what he was doing and even helped me to stand up. However, I noticed how the crotch part of his pants had an unusual bulge on it. Seeming I was looking at his bottom, he looked at it and he covered it immediately and I saw him feel embarrassed. I already know the reason and that it was actually because he was really aroused at the time. Then, seeing the embarrassed look on his face, I wondered about how a person like him could show such an emotion.

He then walked away and picked up the ring I threw on his face. Afterwards, he told me that he'll go back now to fix the wound on his arm . It was the first time that he stopped by himself without a fight that I didn't know what to think about him. Even though I don't think this is normal, as soon as he left, I felt like the embarrassed face he made was cute although that is not actually what I wanted to see. I went back to the classroom and there the person was still waiting for my answer so I decided that it's about time I think about my own happiness and the easiest way is to find new love especially when I know he is kind based from the stories of my friends. That day, we started dating and we kept talking until dismissal time. He was so refreshing that all my tensions even what was done to me earlier disappeared as if they never happened. I knew that heeding to his demands about liking him wouldn't be good as now I'm feeling really happy.

I went home later than expected as my friends kept on teasing me about my finding the perfect guy. The moment we checked the windows, it was already dark so we hurried home. However, there were no lights at his house so I wondered as to the reason why. I went inside and turned on all the necessary lights to see that he was still yet to go to the house. Thus, I thought about buying food from the convenience store and sleep. Then, I woke up from a loud thud on the floor and saw that it was already 12:00AM. I couldn't keep still so I went to check only to see him lying on the floor with his uniform in tatters. I hurried towards him and so all the wounds and bruises he sustained from what seemed like a brawl. It was an emergency situation so I decided to call for an ambulance, but he stopped me from doing so. He told me that it would only cause a ruckus, especially at school. He had a calm look in his eyes but he is really in pain and exhausted. I asked him for the reason why and he told me that some people he beat up in the past did it to him and that it was only normal for them to seek revenge. Soon, he stood up and slowly walks into his room and I heard him taking a shower. I felt worried so I brought some pain killers and placed them on his side table. I was about to go back to my room when I heard the doorbell so I went downstairs to check. I opened the door and saw an unfamiliar face but clearly goes to our school. He asked me if he was okay and if he need not be brought to a hospital. I asked him why is that and there he told me how the injury on his right arm made him unable to stand up for himself. Thus, he was beaten up by three people without even landing a single punch. I thought about how it was related to my biting him from earlier so I felt guilty for what I did. With that, I told him that he is okay and there is nothing to worry about. The person seemed kind but is either cautious or just a coward because he told me about how he saw everything from the moment he was caught.

Two days later, he looked really pale and sluggish at the classroom. Now that i think about it, he only cooked processed foods that were stored in cans. He couldn't even stand and walk properly that it seemed like he was sick. Then, he suddenly collapsed on the floor from his seat that the teacher went to check on him. I looked at him and saw that he is holding onto the part of his arm which I bit. It was covered with a gauze so I thought it was nothing until the tapes went loose. There, the swollen wound was exposed and the teacher even talked about how he has a really high fever. He looked in pain so the teacher asked some of our male friends to bring him to the clinic. A moment later, we heard an ambulance siren and it took him to a hospital. I didn't know what to do as it was obviously my fault and that maybe the people who beat him up broke his arm on that exact same area. School ended, so our homeroom teacher accompanied me to the hospital to talk about what needs to be done as well as for the payment of the same. The doctor explained to us what happened and she told us that he did well to endure the pain from a fractured bone. She talked about how it was due to the obvious bite which can be proved by how the fracture appeared on the x-ray image. With that, she talked about what needs to be done to take care of him. Then, I proceeded to pay the humongous medical bill by withdrawing money from my savings.

That day, we went back to his house as he was already discharged and I helped him. I asked him for the reason as to why he kept it secret. There, he told me how saying it to me or going to the hospital would just make me feel guilty. Specially since it was also the reason as to why he couldn't fight back with the people who beat him up. I felt silent for a while since what he said made sense and that he is only concerned about what I would feel about it. Since I was the one at fault, I apologized to him but he told me that it was his fault in the first place so there is no need for one. Our conversation ended at that until we reached his house. That night, he seemed considerate, but it's only due to his injury and I know that. After all, he didn't profess his feelings to me again and talk about how dating my current boyfriend is a bad decision. However, this doesn't change the fact that I still don't like him. Eventually, a week passed and we went back to our usual selves so everything was normal again aside from the cast still on his arm.

It's been a week since I started dating my current boyfriend. As I was walking home, I bought a cake to give to my boyfriend the following day to commemorate the day we started going out. It was quite expensive but I thought it was all worth it and we'll eat it by lunch time together. With that, I started to walk home as I passed by my own house which although was big has no people inside at the moment since my parents completely locked it. Then, after walking some more, I finally reached the place where I was staying at and upon opening the door, he was there waiting for me. I still couldn't get used to him being earlier than me ever since he was granted a leave from club activities due to his injury. He then told me to have a seat at the dining table and wait a moment as he will prepare a delicious meal for me in a while. I wondered as to the reason why even though he is injured and cannot even cook decent food for the past few days.

Then, he began talking about how the lady which is a family friend at the cake shop called on the telephone and told him that I bought a cake which is most likely for him. He is even talking about how she felt touched since is aware that he is injured. Also, I noticed how he had a huge and refreshing smile on his face. Seeming that he was in his own dream world, I told him outright that it was for my boyfriend. For some reason, he turned off the gas stove and I felt like what happened in the past will surely happen again and that he'll assault me. However, he first asked me if it was the person who confessed to me last time, I nodded to him. I thought he will understand but he argued to me about how that person is just playing with my feelings and that I'll surely regret it in the end. I asked him the reason for why he keeps on saying that but he just kept quiet regarding the matter. I got pissed off with all the blasphemy coming from his mouth so I told him that my boyfriend is really kind compared to him who has emotional issues and an uncontrollable perversion.

He stayed quiet until he told me to do whatever I want and for me not to regret my decision in the end. Also, he told me that he will never help me if ever I come rushing towards him. Actually, he's quite a narcissist for I won't even consider having him console me in the first place so it doesn't matter. With that, he went towards the stairs so I asked him about the food he was preparing that he left. He just replied with how he doesn't feel like cooking before finally going up the stairs to his room.

I felt sorry for the wasted ingredients so I called my friend who knows how to cook and lives a few meters away. She gladly accepted my offer and there she took the matter at hand. She then complimented me about how the ingredients are of the rare variety and seemed freshly bought from the market and that they're really expensive. While she was cooking, I aided her in throwing away the trash and cleaning the utensils while we conversed. Mostly, our topic was about my situation at his house and that I'm not being harassed by him despite him being an adolescent boy. I told her otherwise and that he was just quiet and that today he felt tired to continue cooking when I told him I got a boyfriend. Although, I wasn't able to tell her more, that I'm almost always constantly being violated by him at this house yet I don't have any other choice as I don't want to trouble my parents.

Soon, she finished cooking and the table was all set. With that, I called for him and asked him if he wanted to eat since the dinner is already served. He responded with how he will not eat dinner but his voice seemed like he was crying at it was a bit hoarse. I merely brushed that thought as I know he was just thinking about how I found a new boyfriend other than him. Seeming that he will not eat with us, I told him that I'll leave his share on the refrigerator and that he should just heat it on the microwave when he feels like it.

Then, I went downstairs and we continued our conversation which took a while that it was already midnight when we checked the time. It was already dark outside and so it wouldn't be safe so I asked her to stay and that we'll just call her parents. Her parents agreed and so I prepared my room and there we slept together but not before I locked the door. I already turned off the lights and then we are about to sleep when he knocked on the door and I panicked as he might do something unimaginable again and that it would freak out my friend.

He stopped knocking and I thought he was already about to leave when he talked. He told me about how the food I cooked tasted really good but that I should be careful whenever I touch the stove again since it is really dangerous and another fire might ensue and this time I would be seriously hurt. He then asked if my decision will no longer change. I told him it was already over before he talked again and told me that my choice of who I wanted to go out with is only for me and that he has no say to it. Although, no matter what, he doesn't want me to be hurt and that he is only concerned for me. He even apologized about how he got mad earlier when he learned that the cake was not only not for him but also for my new boyfriend at that. He then told me goodnight for the first time before he finally left. My heart felt at ease but I forgot that I was with my friend and she heard everything. She then told me about how he is kind and that he truly cares for me, too bad I didn't want to go out with him. However, I told her that she doesn't know his true self and I went to sleep. Obviously, she felt confused with what I said but she slept as well. It was a really long night.

Shortly after, my everyday life seemed normal; although, this time I've already been dating my boyfriend for two weeks. He even respected my decision not to do it yet until I'm ready. He is really kind that every once in a while I would buy him gifts that I find which he might like. My friends even support our relationship that we're always talking about it and I can't help but giggle from happiness. On the other hand, it seemed like I was just staying at his house with free food and laundry, much like a client in a hotel.

He is really kind towards me so I would sometimes help him with his studies. We share our days of happiness together as we walk around the neighborhood. With this, we finally entered the third week in our fruitful relationship. I've even fallen more in love with him. Every day I would support him in his practices that it is rare for me to go home early for the past few weeks. On the other hand, aside from providing me with food, we virtually no longer talk with each other and he even exchanged seats at the classroom towards the other side. He gained my praise for this since he's given me space with my boyfriend. He respected the relationship I now have, something he told me I would regret in the end even it was not the case at all.

However, I never thought that our happy days would end prematurely. I went to downtown to buy supplies for school since there was no more at the market place. There, I saw my boyfriend talking with a girl and I was about to approach them when he suddenly kissed her passionately. I stood there looking dumb before I confronted him and asked what he was doing. There, he told me that he is already fed up with me and he was just playing with my feelings. Apparently, he just wanted to have a revenge at my childhood friend since he knows that he loves me. After all, he was once involved in a fight and he was beaten up good back in middle school. Through this going out with me, he wanted me to feel the pain of being associated with that person. I couldn't believe that all along, I was engrossed in a one-sided love. I cannot believe what he said so I asked if he doesn't feel anything with me and he answered that he felt nothing. All I could do was cry and run towards the train station to avoid seeing them together. I never knew that even with my love, he is constantly ruining my life. I entered the train and I even forgot what I was supposed to buy. Soon, I reached our town and I walked to his house. There, I stood in front of his huge house illuminated by bright lights as the wind sways the trees. For almost an hour, even though it was really cold, I just stared at it and contemplated about how I experienced a lot of pain because of him and how he continues to do so. I couldn't even blame my boyfriend for this as he was just acting in revenge, yet it really broke my heart for the second time in just a period of one school term.

Suddenly, he opened the door and he saw me outside just staring at the house. He took a jacket, hurried towards me and covered me with it. He then accompanied me to the living room and assisted me to the sofa. Then, he went to the kitchen and prepared a hot chocolate for me and brought it to the coffee table and asked me to drink it to warm myself. He kept on talking to me yet I wasn't listening as the only thought going inside my mind was my hatred for him and how if he didn't exist, I wouldn't even feel this way. However, he kept on talking that I became really annoyed with it. Thus, I threw the glass cup on the floor and he stood up in panic. He asked me what was wrong so I told him that my boyfriend broke up with me and that it was all his fault.

He kept quiet before he apologized to me. He told me that it was really all his fault all along and that he knew for a moment the second he saw him that he would just use me since it was him. Although, recently thought about how his feelings may be genuine. Tears then flowed from my eyes, so I grabbed his shirt despite the injury on his arm and I asked him why he never told me that. Like how that person may just wanted to have some revenge and whatnot. He told me that he didn't want to say it since I wouldn't believe me even if he told that to me and he would look really desperate to hinder our relationship. He made some sense regarding it since I really wouldn't believe him, but I still can't forgive him for being the cause of this problem. I argued with him a lot and told him that he just wouldn't allow me to live in peace.

Out of the spur of the moment, I told him to kneel before me and apologize for what he has done. I thought he wouldn't do something like that but he immediately did it. He told me that if that was enough for me to forgive him, he'll do it without reserve. However, I didn't want to see him that way so I went towards him and held his arms. The moment he looked at me, there were tears in his eyes that I didn't know what to do. I asked him why he was crying when it was me who was dumped and got played around with by the finger. There, he told me that he felt really sorry for me since I was suffering because of him even though he only wanted to love me and instead it causes me pain. His tears made me weak so I unconsciously embraced him and told him that it was okay as he has sincerely reflected on his actions. This was the first time that I saw him cry ever since we stopped being together in the past. However, I felt something heavy in my heart just now.

Eventually, I stood up to go inside my room and apologized for the cup that I threw on the floor. As I was walking, he told me that starting tomorrow, he'll make sure that I will no longer have to suffer. I wondered what he meant by that but I continued walking towards my room. I changed into my pajamas afterwards. As soon as I went to my bed, I thought about the way he loves. Surely, it was true that he really is concerned for me and he doesn't want me to experience any pain. Yet, it is also true that he can never control his lust whenever I'm around him. I would have answered his feelings by now if only he didn't have that unpleasant personality of him which I really don't like. After all, no one would like someone who constantly sexually assaults them.