A Childhood Relationship Chapter I: THE BEGINNING AND DISTANCE

Chapter 10

CHAPTER X: REALIZATION

Morning came and someone called me downstairs although it was a woman's voice. I put on my uniform and went downstairs when I saw a familiar looking old lady. She knew I was surprised so she told me that she is his grandmother and that starting today she'll cook food for me for an entire week and that she'll place them inside the refrigerator for me to heat. Also, she told me that the house has a security feature so in case of emergency I need only lock myself inside my room. I asked her for the reason why she was there and so she told me that her grandson asked her to do it since he'll move in an apartment near the school. She even laughed because it was the first time that he asked her for a favor. I thanked her for cooking for me when she looked at the time and told me she has to return to her house. Outside, there was a black car and inside was his grandfather. I waved goodbye before I locked the door to the house. I was bewildered with the sudden change and it appears that I'm now living alone.

I went to school and I saw him there although he never talked to me regarding what he has done so I just stayed quiet. I talked to my friends regarding how my second relationship ended. They consoled me and told me that sooner or later I'll find the person who will truly love me and that he may just be around the corner. I laughed with them and told them how I have finally moved on so there is nothing to worry about. I finished my class representative duties so I proceeded home when one of my friends walked with me. I asked her where she was going and then she told me how she'll have an overnight at my house. I was shocked but I agreed. I thought this would only be just a one time thing but every single day one of my friends would have an overnight at the house. Two weeks passed and I noticed how they're always having an overnight at my house so I asked them the reason why, they then told me how they are worried since I now live alone so they decided amongst themselves to have an overnight in rotations. I thanked them for it since they're doing so much for me even though it is really troublesome for them.

However, even though they're keeping me company. I always felt lonely at the house. I felt that something important is missing. Then, I entered his room and there I found it untouched since two weeks ago and dust already accumulated. I went towards his bed and lied over there. The smell seemed familiar and the second I knew it, I was smelling his bed sheets that I was surprised with what I was doing. For some reason, while walking around his room, tears fell down from my eyes. I didn't want to admit it, but I realized that I felt lonely the moment he left the house. I became accustomed to him always walking around the house and cooking food. However, it's been two weeks now and he is no longer here.

I knew for a moment that something is wrong with me and that I'm looking for him even though I don't like him. Eventually, I told my friend that I'll bring her to her house and that I won't feel lonely even if I'm alone. She argued with me and told me that I won't be safe alone. Seeming that I was being stubborn, she finally told me that he asked them to accompany me the moment he left the house. That he even bowed courteously to ask for their agreement in the matter, setting aside his pride. I thought I was hearing wrong when she told it to me again. I asked her why he would do something like that, there she told me how I've always been looking around through him. That the person who will truly love me is just beside me yet I don't want to admit to it. As I thought about it, I told her how I'll manage things from here and she need not worry anymore and so I took her home and I went back.

Then, I called his grandmother and asked her for a favor. She is really kind even though I'm not related to her. I asked her if she can call him and tell that I was in danger. She agreed but not before telling me that I was a playful girl who knows how to tease and make fun of people. I felt embarrassed, until she hang up the phone. Soon, I heard a bicycle hitting the wall to the house and the gate opening and soon the door to the house. He came rushing to see me seating on the sofa like usual. He asked me what was wrong and I could see all the sweat from his body, his injury is also healed. I don't know why, but the moment I saw him, I felt really happy. He always forced himself on me, yet now I wanted to see him which made me think that something really is wrong with me.

Seeming that it was just a prank by his grandmother, he was about to call his grandmother before I took the phone from his hand and told him that it was my idea and his grandmother only agreed to pass my message. He asked me why I would do something like that. There, I told him that I realized how without him at the house, it doesn't feel like home even though my friends always accompany me. There, he blushed and tears flowed down his face as he covered it with his hand. With that, I welcomed him back with a warm embrace and told him never to leave the house again. However, he held my arms and told me that he cannot stay at the house anymore as he is bound to make me cry. Slowly, he is growing up and I noticed this when he said those lines. To counter what he said, I told him that it doesn't matter as my room has lots of locks he cannot open either way. Eventually, I told him that I will not answer his feelings now, but soon I may answer him back. Suddenly, he thanked me before he went outside. There, I told him how he should stay now. I then went upstairs towards my room to hide my emotions. Apparently, the moment I saw him, my heart was beating really fast and I was flustered. I cannot seem to understand this feeling called love even though I already experienced it twice. However, I do know that whenever I'm with him, it's the only time I feel this hot sensation in my body.

He finally returned to the house and it was all good and all as he started cooking and doing the laundry by himself again. Although, one thing will never change and I know it, that he'll never stop being perverted. I don't like him because of that, and that's a fact, but I don't want to be separated from him no matter what. He is still my childhood friend so I don't want our relationship to end just like that. There, I thought about how it must be the reason why I didn't want to be separated from him and that I just confused it with feelings of love.

One day, while I was idling around the house, I asked him if he could teach how to cook so that I could help him around the house. He happily obliged and so he taught me to prepare the vegetables with a bowl of water in which to temporarily store them. However, as I was taking out the tape holding the vegetable inside the plastic, I used too much force that I hit the bowl. It was about to hit my foot, good thing he caught it although the water poured on my clothes. It was also the worst time for me to wear white clothing that it exposed my underwear. Obviously, I felt that he would do something to me the moment he sees me that way so I tried to prepare myself for what is to come.

Sure enough, he grabbed my arm and placed me on the dining table. He took off my dress and he began to kiss my neck and even bite. I cringed out from the tickling sensation as well as the pain yet it heightened him even more. I know because I saw him blushing and breathing heavily. I told him to stop what he was doing but he wouldn't listen to me at all. I wanted to fight and I know that I have the strength to do so, but I cannot even remove my hands from his grip. My legs are also pinned down by his body.

Eventually, he took off my brasserie again exposing my frontals. He then sucked them and it felt really weird. My saliva was also dripping from what he was doing as it was really ticklish yet I can't seem to laugh at all. Then, he kissed me again at the lips and used his tongue to play around with mine. I felt really hot that I wanted to take a cold shower at the moment as it seemed like I had a fever. He finally talked and he told me that he really can no longer take it anymore as he was enduring it for so long. He even apologized to me for what he will do will surely make me hate him even more.

He removed his hand from the grip and I thought I can finally move. However, my legs and arms became too numb for me to actually move or have any power at all. With that time, he took off his shirt and exposed his body in front of me. He took one of my hands and placed it on his stomach and I felt how hard it was. Then, he moved it downward towards his privates. I felt the hair as well as his thing that I panicked. However, he was moaning really hard and saliva was dripping from his lips. The more I struggled to remove my hand, the more he felt good so I gave up and allowed him to control my hand. After that, he freed my hand and embraced me while touching my back all over. He bit my ear and told me that he loves me. He was pressing his body on mine back and forth until he moaned loudly and stopped with really heavy breathing afterwards with his eyes closed. He was also blushing from what he did. On the other hand, I couldn't move from my position as he was right on top of me.

Then, he looked at me while still breathing heavily, touched my hair and told me again that he loves me. Eventually, he fell asleep from exhaustion even though we're on top of the dining table. My heart slowly settled down and my being scared slowly disappeared. Soon, I managed to break free from him and was able to stand up while he was lying face down on the table. I was about to go to my room when I saw his sleeping face. I stroke his cheeks and he smiled. Indeed, he is this kind of person, but slowly I'm growing to like this part of him even though I didn't want to. It's like my body is slowly being accustomed to what he is doing to me. Since it would be cold, I took some blanket from his room and covered him with it.

I entered the bathroom so I can take a bath to remove all the fluids. I felt around my body where his heat was still embedded. Then, as soon as I removed my underwear, I was surprised when I found it really wet when I didn't even pee at all. Also, it is quite sticky so I hurried towards the shower to wash them all away. I felt scared as I may be sick so I checked the internet afterwards. There, I discovered a lot of things and they're all related to making love. It actually means that I was really turned on with what he did to me and that I'm actually perverted myself. I called one of my friends and told her about it and sure enough it was proof that I was turned on. She laughed since my playing with myself made me wet while my former boyfriends weren't able to do so and that it really was ironic.

I went to my bed and contemplated about everything that happened. It was then that I realized that even though I don't like it, I allow him to mess up with my body. Towards my first boyfriend, I hated it when he touched me, but towards him I didn't have any of these feelings. In fact, I even felt safe around him while he was doing it. I know he is kind and all since he would always serve me food and so this may be a factor with my feelings towards him. I also know that with him, I wouldn't be cheated on or be dumped for any senseless reason, but I still don't want to admit that we can be together, it's impossible for us.

Morning came as I heard him opening his door and the shower. I went down and turned on the television as I wait for the breakfast that he'll prepare. It took him a while but he went down and approached me. There, he apologized to me for what he has done last night. I told him to pay no mind to it as it is already over. Then, he told me that he'll never stick it in as long as we're not actually dating and would try his best not to. It surprised me because I realized that if ever we become a couple, he would immediately do just that without any caution. He told me that he can be satisfied with something like we did last night so he will be fine. Then, I thought to myself how it is only always about him and that he was self-centered. Then again, if he really is that sexually frustrated, he wouldn't take care of me like this with the food, laundry and all.

Soon, the dining table was cleaned. I asked him if there is anything I can help him with, but he rejected my offer. He told me that I could accidentally seduce him again and that he won't be able to control himself. It didn't affect me the way I thought it would. What surprised me was when he mentioned how even if I had already given my first and several times more to my two boyfriends and the people from the past, his feelings would never change and that he still loves me. This is not true since I still hadn't given away my first time but it is not appropriate to tell him something like this. I always wondered why he loves me, so I asked him for the reason why. There, he revealed to me that he has no reason aside from the fact that it was me. I was touched with what he said that I fell silent. As I was in my own dream world, I realized something. Actually, it is true that I have yet to give my first to anyone, more so to have done it several times with my past two boyfriends and the people from the rumors. However, I cannot help thinking about why he still loves me even after knowing the misconception that I already slept with several different guys.

He was still busy preparing the breakfast that I went to the veranda to enjoy the hot summer breeze. It was quite hot that I felt the sweat from inside my clothes when he gave me a fan and surprised me. He told me that I might suffer from heat stroke. I thanked him for it 'cause he took a break from cooking just for me. Then, I reminisce about our childhood together and how we would always play at their huge backyard with a swimming pool. Although as of now it is no longer being used as it is pretty much dry and quite dirty. I blurted out something and told him I wanted to swim which actually caught me off-guard. He agreed just like that and I wondered what is to come so I told him that it is still early to be swimming. He laughed and told me that their swimming pool is still functional and once it is cleaned, it is okay to take a dip. I no longer have a choice and I brought it upon myself so I just waited for the time when I could swim and avoid the sweltering heat of summer.