A Childhood Relationship Chapter I: THE BEGINNING AND DISTANCE

Chapter 16

CHAPTER XVI: SERIOUSNESS

Morning arrived, yet I still don't know whether or not I will go down to eat breakfast. I've been thinking so much as to how I'll face him now that we are basically dating. I'm also a but worried if ever our relationship wouldn't work out fine. Unlike my previous boyfriends who live separately from me, this time it's different. Breaking up with each other would only result in a tense atmosphere within the house. Only now did I realize the mistake I made last night. Honestly, I regretted confessing to him since all these negative thoughts are flooding my mind at the moment. Even more so is the thought that he will no longer hold back at the instance he pushes me down since he now has a reason to do so. This is not an overstatement since my first boyfriend forced me to engage in the act, what more for him who cannot even control his desires. Couple this with the fact that we virtually live side by side to each other under one roof. However, it's still possible for me to take back what I said to him as I could just make some excuses. I know this would really hurt him, but I think this would be for the best. Then, as I was thinking about what excuse I will tell him and on what situation I will tell it to him, he called for me from downstairs seeming that the food is already prepared. Due to this, I became overwhelmed with nervousness.

Eventually, I went downstairs to meet and finally tell him about my decision to revert whatever I said to him last night. The moment I stepped on the ground floor, we met each other's gazes and it surprised me. I panicked so I began to open my mouth when he turned away from me and covered his face with his arm. I don't know what he's thinking but this is really the right time for me telling him about my doubts and regret. Although, I thought I noticed how he had dark circles around his eyes so I stopped for a moment to question him about it. He stayed silent at first before talking.

I couldn't believe what he said to me, apparently the entirety of the night he wasn't able to sleep thinking about what he need to do. He thought about how he mustn't touch me anymore and start cherishing me as a girl. This caught me off-guard so I couldn't help but muffle a soft laugh. He heard me so he looked at me and I saw his blushing face. He wouldn't be happy to hear this, but I thought he looked cute when he showed me that face of his. It's like my confession reverted him to his innocent self. I think this is not normal because when I fell in love with him, he is a perverted person who took advantage of my own body for the longest time. Due to this, I couldn't help but laugh as I sat on the dining chair while he kept on complaining to me about why I'm laughing.

The moment I looked on what is served on the dining table, it was a food entirely different from what he usually prepares. It's an unfamiliar dish I have never seen before that I thought he experimented on it. I felt curious and it's not like there is any other dish prepared so I decided to take a bite. However, I wasn't able to taste anything; not because it really didn't have any taste, but because I saw his face the moment I looked in front of me. He couldn't sit still and is desperately looking away from me with an embarrassed look on his face which I found cute. I was mesmerized with the way he is acting now that I thought about something. I realized that there is no problem in the first place and that I shouldn't have regretted confessing to him; since at this moment, I wanted to make him happy and hold him. By now, it doesn't matter if we'll break up, 'cause it's not like I can predict when this will happen nor it is good to think about it even before our relationship began. Right now, all I can think about is to be with this person who I want to hold with my arms.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize he is calling for my name. I was swept back to reality and there he asked me if the food tasted bad. I immediately answered that it didn't have any taste at all so there's nothing wrong about it. Suddenly, he stood up, grabbed the apron and took the serving plate. I was surprised since he took the food served so I took it away from him and placed it down to its respective place on the table. He wondered why I did that so he asked me as to why I took it back. With that, I told him that it's rude to take away the dish served which I was supposed to eat. Then, with a lonely look on his face, he told me that he cannot allow me to eat something that didn't have any taste at all so he will cook another dish for me. I wondered as to why he's saying that so I told him that it actually tastes good as soon as I grabbed another bite. Then, he told me that earlier I said it didn't have any taste at all.

Eventually, I realized what I told him that I apologized for it and I told him to return the apron and return back to his seat. Since he couldn't just believe what I said, I told him what I was thinking while I was spacing out. Obviously, it caught him off-guard as he didn't expect for me to say things like that. Then, he looked at me with calm looking eyes and told me how we should just think about the present and leave whatever happens to the future. His gentle words seemed like it came from another person that I became dumbfounded. Afterwards, we finally began to eat seriously until we finished. I decided to help him wash the dishes but he kept on moving away so I scolded him since the counter would get wet. He then told me that he couldn't just get near me after thinking and telling me about how he'll cherish me as a girl. Seeming that he's trying his best to control his desires, I told him that it's already too late for that after all the things he had done to me.

This affected him greatly that he turned off the faucet, kneeled on the floor and bowed to apologize. I didn't want him to do this so I tried to pull him upwards yet he told me that he needs to do it no matter what. He apologized to me for all the things he did to me and that he will never do them again even though at first he wanted me to like him despite his dark habit. Really, he's trying his best to change into someone he is not, I'm not even telling him to do this. So, I told him that he's nothing but an i***t. He looked at me with questioning eyes and there I told him that he shouldn't do that. I told him that he need not suffer just for the sake of wanting to keep our relationship intact. After all, I'm the only person who knows about what he really is so I can understand how this will make him endure a lot and it wouldn't be healthy for him. Eventually, I caressed his face and told him that I'm thankful to him for thinking so much about me. He stayed silent yet I know he's at least a bit happy with what I told him. With that, I helped him stand up. Soon, we finished washing the dishes and I went to the living room to watch television.

Suddenly, I was surprised when the room suddenly turned really hot that I began to sweat. Although, I didn't mind it as the air conditioning may have just adjusted the temperature automatically and that it will return to normal eventually. However, this didn't happen and the television even turned off even though the remote control is on the coffee table. I felt that it was weird for it to happen so I went outside to call him as he is talking with one of our classmates in front of the house. As soon as he met me, he waved goodbye to his friend and then proceeded towards me in order to entertain what I need to tell him. With that, I explained to him what happened and that the appliances may have coincidentally broke-down at the same time.

With that, he accompanied me inside and checked the lights first and discovered that there was a blackout. I felt bewildered since the television was still working for quite some time right after the cooling stopped. Apparently, the television is connected to an emergency battery pack in case of natural disasters and that is the reason why I did not realize that there was already a blackout. I wanted to complain to him that it is really hot but I decided to keep my mouth shut as I'd be crossing the line at that point. I decided to sit down on the couch before he asked me if I wanted to swim with him in order to cool down. It caught me off-guard, especially when I remembered when these feelings all began before I answered him. Due to this, I went to my room to wear my swimwear before going down. What greeted me was him who is already swimming casually by himself before he saw me and looked away again. I guess he was fazed with my swimwear even though it's the one that covers much of my skin. The sun is too bright so I applied sunscreen first and I had a hard time covering my back so I asked him to help me to it. He hesitantly went towards me and I too couldn't help but look away as I cannot look at him directly without the desire to touch him with the way he looked in front of me.

Soon, he is already applying the sunscreen on my back and I felt really ticklish that I couldn't help but move around slightly. Eventually, he finished what he was doing and proceeded towards the swimming pool. But, I realized that he didn't apply any sunscreen at all so I offered to apply it on his body since it would be bad if he swam just like that and that it would be my thanks to him. I asked him to sit on the chair and there I applied sunscreen on his back and noticed how broad it is. I talked to him regarding this and he replied that he is working out a lot so it's only natural for it to be like that. Then, I asked him regarding his soccer if he's among the regulars and he said that soon he'll become one after much more practice.

I finished applying the sunscreen on his back so I told him to apply them on his body since he can already reach them without problems. However, he did not take the sunscreen bottle from my hand and instead asked me if I can apply it on his body. He didn't sound like he is ordering me, in fact it sounded like he was embarrassed. Since it would be the first favor he asked from me, I obliged and soon I'm almost done till I reached his torso. For some reason, it felt like I'm touching a warm statue with lumps of flesh. Suddenly, he grabbed my arm and pushed me down on the grass and started to motion his lips towards mine. It surprised me so I just closed my eyes as I already know what he would do to me. This was the decision that I made so I should at least be prepared for this. Then, he let go of my hand and I heard a loud splash on the swimming pool.

The moment I opened my eyes he was already there. Since he is already there, I followed suit and felt really glad the water cooled me down. On the other hand, he just kept holding his breathe within the pool so I approached him. It was that I asked him about the kiss and he blushed. There, he told me that he was about to do all sorts of perverted things to me again so he decided to distract himself on the pool. I don't know how to respond to him, but I know one thing, for once he's starting to act conscious around me. Apparently, confessing to him isn't that bad at all. Thus, I told him that we should just enjoy the water and so we started playing all sorts of water games. Honestly, it was really fun and I could see how much fun he's having with the warm smile on his face and the way he laughs.

We've been swimming and playing on the swimming pool for quite some time that I felt really tired. I had so much fun that I didn't even care how much time had passed. Then, the doorbell rang and I was surprised with the sound. I was about to go and get it when I suddenly felt weak on my legs that I slipped and was sucked into the water. Good thing he was beside me so he managed to pull me out of the water in due haste. He asked me if I was okay and I nodded. There, he helped me towards the pool stairs and told me that he'll be the one to answer the door since it wouldn't be good if it was a guy. I realized that he is talking about my swimwear so I complained to him that I'm not even fat before he looked at me and showed his tongue with a mischievous smile on his face. Really, he's an i***t who doesn't know that he's still young.

As soon as he was out of my sight, I felt conscious of my body that I looked at my tummy. I felt relieved since it didn't stick out even after I ate breakfast earlier. Eventually, I heard several footsteps that I decided to hide within the water as there might have been visitors. It surprised me when I saw two of my best friends and they laughed the moment they saw me. On the other hand, he motioned that he'll be returning back to his room to take a bath and prepare dinner. I don't know what to say so I just looked at the two girls in front of me. They teased me for a while before they told me that I've forgotten about our meeting for today. I was pretty much lost in thought before I remembered that I arranged to meet with them today to discuss about my feelings. I felt really ashamed of forgetting something important that I apologized to them. However, they just told me that we can still talk so they followed me inside my room. I told them that I'll rinse my body for a while and that we can begin talking. Although, this talk no longer has any meaning as I already confessed my feelings.

As soon as I went out of the bathroom, I was surprised to see that it's already 2:00AM. I remembered how when I changed into my swimwear it was still just 8:30PM. I thought it was just a short amount of time, but I guess there are really times when you forget about these kinds of things. With that, we began talking and they complained about how I'm monopolizing a commercial model. I couldn't help but laugh at them for what they said although it's true. They told me about how seeing his body really shocked them that they didn't know how to respond to him. Just like that, our conversation turned towards him which seemed really out of place. They even teased me as to why I'm swimming with him and with just the two of us at that. I've got no other reason other than the blackout so there's nothing I can do to stop them.

Eventually, they asked regarding what my decision will be with regards to him. With that, I told them straight that I already confessed last night and that now we're dating. They were obviously surprised with what i just said that their eyes looked like they were glistening. They bombarded me with a lot of questions and even went as far as comparing him to my past boyfriends. However, I know that they're really happy for me since I'm lucky to be with someone like him who seemed kind. But, they warned me about how he really is a playboy and that I should protect myself at all times by using contraceptives. Honestly, I couldn't rebut what they're saying they are all true, although him being a playboy no longer applies to him. Although, the thing about needing contraceptives, I thought about how I should really buy those candy-like rubber as soon as possible so I asked them what brand I should get. They gave me a lot of advice since they're experienced at these kinds of things since they have an active s****l life with their boyfriends. Actually, they are the only ones who know that I hadn't given away my first time yet, not even him knows about this.

We spent a lot of time talking that I even forgot to eat lunch even after he called moments earlier. I couldn't admit it, but I was too engrossed with how intimate they are talking about their boyfriends. It made me feel really hot that I kept on checking my neck if I have a fever. Although, what they're talking about really helped me. I also discovered that he really is one of a kind as their boyfriends don't do to them what he does to me. However, even though we are best friends, I couldn't simply tell them about this since it would cause a lot of complications and awkward feelings.

Since I've been taking much of their time, I asked if them if they want to eat lunch with us. But, they declined and just motioned for me to enjoy my precious summer break with him alone. They're seriously making fun of me that I pouted and complained to them. Although, they just laughed so I returned the same as it felt like we caught up a lot with each other's lives. Now, I just need to accompany them outside the house and say goodbye. Finally, they teased me one more time about how I need to wear a wristwatch in order to keep track of time now that my mind is already fleeting whenever I'm with him. I felt really embarrassed that I shooed them away while they kept on laughing. Having friends sure is fun, especially when they're this hilarious and open-minded.

Eventually, I went inside the house and we ate lunch together. But, nothing unusual happened afterwards. As usual, I just sat down on the couch to watch television. Although, the moment I remember what my friends told me, I couldn't help but feel my heart racing whenever I look at him. Worse still is when he went to sit on the other side of the couch, far from me. Actually, I would like this sense of security, but I felt like we grew far away from each other the moment we started dating. He's even holding himself back now for me yet I simply cannot tell him to not do this. After all, he could misinterpret my intentions and things between us may become strained. It's only now that I started to realize how fragile the foundation of our relationship really is. Come to think of it, we started with our bodies and messed up the order of things on the onset, so it can't be helped. However, despite all these negative thoughts that began to pile up once more, I know how serious he is in dealing with his dark habits. This is enough to make me fall for him even more but I still need to do something about this.