A Childhood Relationship Chapter I: THE BEGINNING AND DISTANCE

Chapter 2

CHAPTER II: RELATIONSHIP OF TEARS

High School was a new page in my life as a student. Here, I'll either gain new friends, retain old friends or lose them. It was also at this time that someone confessed to me for the very first time. Obviously, I didn't know what to do as I felt nervous about what I needed to do at that very moment. Thus, for a few weeks, I talked with my friends and they told me to either accept his feelings or turn him down as soon as possible. They told me that the decision lies only with me and that they only exist to support me with their all no matter what my decision may be. After carefully thinking about this matter, I finally accepted his feelings and so we started going out. For the most part, all I can say with having a relationship with the opposite s*x is that it was fun. I learned a lot about his life and so I shared my life's stories as well. Eventually, we began going to dates every once in a while.

Then, as we were walking around downtown, he met me together with him. He didn't talk much aside from when he told me how I have already found a boyfriend and that he was happy for me as his childhood friend. I didn't expect for him to actually congratulate me since we rarely talk. But, for some reason, I felt that he was being sarcastic. After all, he has been going out with different girls every single time or so I finally realized when I entered High School. In fact, it wouldn't be an overstatement that he even dated girls both older and younger than him. Back in Middle School, seeing him with girls and women seemed only natural, but now I know more and my boyfriend helped me understand this. There are even rumors that he took some of them to hotels even though they're not in a relationship at all. I feel sorry for them 'cause they're just after his good looks and physique yet they've been giving up something precious to them as females. Now that I think about it, the way he is now, it looked like he was never the person who grew up with me. He's pretty much a different person now and I didn't like his new personality one bit. With all these things going inside my mind, I even contemplated about how he would turn out had we not went our separate ways back in middle school. Eventually, I gave up thinking anymore and just turned my eyes on my boyfriend. He is the exact opposite of him, without a doubt. My boyfriend is several times better and more noble than him as he is really kind and cheerful which makes me feel happy and content that I reciprocated his wholehearted feelings.

The days with my boyfriend were full of happiness and that feeling of having butterflies in my stomach; although, despite my bragging, we've only achieved the level of kissing and nothing more than that. I cannot even last a minute or two whenever he sticks his tongue inside my mouth. Truth be told, I still don't know how to passionately kiss and couple that with my having a hard time breathing while engaging in the act. Sometimes, I feel embarrassed with my being inexperienced with these kinds of things. The internet doesn't even help as I can't seem to fathom whatever they're talking about. Most of them would even mention how as soon as the guy engages a kiss, I'd feel engrossed and suddenly become an expert at the heat of the moment. We've been going out for a month now and so he invited me on another date at the city, he even treat me for a ride on the train.

I was too innocent and naive, so little did I know that he wanted to bring me to a hotel as soon as we entered the well-known red light district. I only realized it when he told me he'll give me happiness at the hotel he pointed out which has a heart on every corner and at every side. I declined at first because it was too early for something like that, but he wouldn't let me go so I had no other choice but to go with him. His grip is also tight and so I cannot walk away myself. I guess this is what my friends meant when they gave up their first time to their boyfriends from the time they started going out or even after a week or two. Each one of them had different times, yet the latest was two weeks. In my case, I think I was quite the late bloomer who is making my own boyfriend wait for a really long time even though I love him. While at the front desk, my heart was pounding really fast and I didn't know what to do. He selected a room from among the choices and soon we entered what seemed to be another country with its peculiar foreign interior.

As I was walking inside towards a comfy chair, he asked me to take a bath ahead of him and so I did just that. Inside, I showered for a while before entering the bathtub I prepared. While slowly taking my time, I wondered about what excuses I can make so that we wouldn't do it, yet nothing comes to mind. Eventually, I left the bathtub, reused my underwear and wore the bathrobe that was prepared inside the bathroom. Afterwards, he followed suit and he went outside in just a few minutes and dimmed the lights. Then, he proceeded to the bed where he asked me to stay and kissed me before finally touching my top. I didn't feel comfortable at all, although I thought about how in just a few moments, it will start to feel good. Soon, he took something from the side table of the bed and opened it using his teeth. It seemed like a rubber candy with the smell and all so I wondered if we'll eat it. Contrary to my initial though, he put it on his bottom which I didn't see due to the shadow from his huge body.

Then, he started removing my underwear. At that exact moment, I felt really bad, dirty and really uncomfortable so I screamed and told him to stop and that I'm not prepared for something like that at this point in time. I told him how in time I'll give him my everything and that we can become one, but now is not the time for something like this. I then proceeded to wear my clothes and was about to tell him that we should forget we ever went to the hotel. Yet, he beat me to it and told me that he'll break up with me the moment I step outside the room. I thought that he wouldn't take what he said seriously, so since I was too scared to stay inside, I left the room without saying a word. I walked what seemed like a long distance even after riding the train, I was really nervous and my legs are having a hard time moving.

It wasn't until I reached my home before I felt calm until I saw him leaving our house with the usual food from my mother and as always we bowed towards each other. However, he whispered to me something regarding my time at the hotel and if I enjoyed doing it with my boyfriend. Seeming that he was being insensitive, I slapped him right on the face and told him how he was the worst kind of person. I briefly entered my house without even looking back as I shut the door with a loud thud. It was so loud that my mother questioned me about it so I told her that I wasn't able to control the door. For obvious reasons, my blood boiled when he told me something he shouldn't have said to the point that I even forgot about my ordeal from earlier. I know that we're no longer as close as we were in the past, but I never knew he would say something not worth hearing. However, at the time I did not notice about how he knew about where I was at the time and who I was with. When it comes down to it, I really am naive and this is not a good thing.

The following day, as I was about to greet my boyfriend, he was talking with a beautiful girl. As soon as I entered his classroom, he passionately kissed her and told her he loves her afterwards. I asked him what it was all about and why they're making a really bad joke. Then, in front of my face and everyone else, he told me how we're already over and that he found a better girlfriend than me. He even stressed out how she is much prettier with a great personality to boot. I couldn't believe what I heard so I walked towards him to grab his hand and pull him outside to seriously talk with him when she slapped me in the face and shoved me towards the floor. The classroom went silent seeming that they know that something even more serious happened. I thought his classmates are already my friends, yet no one helped me. She told me about how I'm a despicable and dirty girl who would sell my body to anyone for cash despite my innocent appearance. Even more so was that she told me about how my boyfriend saw me talking to a seemingly rich old man at the red light district and eventually entered a love hotel. I gathered my composure and stood up in order to defend myself that whatever she was saying were all just a lie. However, she asked me if it is not true that I went to the red light district, I stopped for a moment since I remembered that he brought me there yesterday. There, she talked about whatever she said were all true and that it was the reason my boyfriend broke up with me. I didn't know what else to say since their female classmates are already glaring at me. Some guys even stashed money in front of my face and was asking for me to satisfy them. I felt ridiculed and shamed, so I hurriedly left the room towards mine.

I thought I could remain calm and composed, but as soon as I entered my classroom and saw my friends, I burst out crying in front of them. I told them regarding what just happened. They talked about how my boyfriend didn't have any delicacy and was a despicable liar. They comforted me and told me not to think much about it. Then, he suddenly slammed the desk and ran outside, I didn't know where he was going but I was too depressed to think about any other things. I kept on telling my friends about everything while tears were flowing down my face and how I never knew my boyfriend was that kind of person. I thought it was only about me until some batch mates from the class next door came running towards me and was talking about a fight that started. I wondered what it was so I used the handkerchief my friend gave me to wipe away my tears and go with them as I may be someone related to it.

As I stood up, one of the guys told me that the fight was with my boyfriend. So, without thinking, I hurried towards him to at least tell him to stop despite what I was feeling at the moment. As soon as I entered their classroom, I saw the two of them exchanging punches until my boyfriend fell on the floor while he was ready to bring the finishing blow towards his face. I thought that anymore than that would be serious so I hurried and grabbed him from behind to stop him from hitting my boyfriend. My boyfriend hurriedly stood up and then hit him on the face and blood splashed as I was holding him and he couldn't move. Not surprisingly, he stopped and I was able to avoid something serious from happening to my boyfriend, although he was hit back due to my meddling. Then, he broke free from my arms and left the classroom after he kicked the door and a dent was formed. I apologized for the commotion before leaving in order to follow him and apologize for what I had done. However, he was no longer in sight so I wasn't able to say anything to him. I did not know the reason why the two of them fought, but I know I was called because I was his girlfriend. However, at this point, it is no longer appropriate to call him my boyfriend as we are now basically over as he already dumped me. I didn't know that couples can easily break-up from not giving what they wanted, especially my first time which I still hold dearly. We may already be living in a modern world, but something like this is still worth protecting and I would do it until I get married or when I find the perfect guy whom I would want to spend my life with. However, at least my first relationship helped me learn more about love, experiencing it first-hand is better than just hearing stories from my friends. The first year of my High School life, I had my first boyfriend and it is also the time that I lost my first boyfriend. It was painful, especially when I think about how our relationship ended as now we cannot even stay as friends. In that instance, all our time together disappeared and are now just memories of the past. This is actually the same as what happened to my childhood friend. There is a well-known saying that history always repeats itself no matter the era or the place. Perhaps, it is really true that history works that way as that is also true for individual people like me now that I experienced it.