A Childhood Relationship Chapter I: THE BEGINNING AND DISTANCE

Chapter 18

CHAPTER XVIII: CHANGE

The following day, we just returned back to our usual routine. Although, something did changed, I no longer feel awkward whenever I'm with him and accepted that our relationship is already more than just childhood friends. Part of the reason for this calm feeling and tension is the spontaneous visit to our parent's place back at the north. This wasn't his intention, but I can rightfully believe that this ended well. A lot of things changed, yet the one that made me even happier is that he finally reconciled with his very own parents after such a long time. It's like the times when I heard about him being disowned several months ago disappeared like fleeting memories.

Just recently, his smile no longer has a tint of sadness in them. As for me, my mother suddenly called the moment we reached our place. She told me that I should always report on whatever happens at his place. She kept bugging me so I rebutted that she didn't even call for the past few months. This made her quiet down a bit and just said what any normal mother would do. Apparently, since she heard about his story, she can no longer view him as the same harmless young boy like in the past. This is only a natural thing, after all any parent would be worried especially when an accident does occur when we're still just high school students. Nevertheless, we managed to end our conversation with a cheerful tone.

Then, it's already the time to go back to school. I'm too excited to meet my classmates again that I woke up earlier and prepared breakfast. However, I was too lost in thought that I burned the meal I cooked. I can't even repair it nor cook another batch as the ingredients are expensive. So, I decided that I'll just apologize to him and just present it with the unburned side on top. Eventually, I acted natural and began eating ahead of him as soon as he went down the stairs. I made sure that he would think the food is all good and free of problems by enduring the bad taste. Although, contrary to my initial thought, it was more bitter than coffee. I had to drink water every single bite just to relieve me from the unpleasant taste. He smiled and thanked me for preparing the breakfast ahead of him and sat down. There, the greatest challenge of the day just began and I don't know how he'll respond. Soon, he bit the food and I felt really nervous. I slowly looked at his face and saw the bitter look on his face. I was already prepared that he'll get mad at me, but he just smiled at me and told me how bitter the food was. Then, he just kept on eating the food as if it didn't taste bitter at all so I hurried towards him and asked him not to eat it anymore. But, he just kept going and told me that he'll finish what was prepared in front of him. Afterwards, he finished eating while I on the other hand wasn't even able to finish half of the food. He volunteered to wash the dishes and so I just went on to prepare my uniform.

A few minutes later, we are already prepared and proceeded to go to school together. This time we are close to each other and with only a few distance between the two of us. He then held onto my hand so I immediately moved it away. I looked at him as it may have made him feel bad. So, I told him that it doesn't matter to me, and I'm just embarrassed to let people see. He calmly teased me and asked me if I don't want people to see that he's my boyfriend. I got annoyed at him so I walked faster than him. Eventually, he matched my pace, held my hand and apologized to me with a smile on his face. I don't know how to keep up with my feelings, so I decided to forgive him but only by saying that it is for eating the burnt food earlier. He laughed at me and said the food did taste bad and that I'm a bad cook to begin with. Then, I asked him why he ate it despite it being the way it is. Suddenly, he turned serious and told me that it is the food I especially prepared so he couldn't help but eat it. He loves to tease me, but I can't deny that it made me feel happy. So, I decided to hold tighter onto his hand and walk together. There, we exchanged words that we like each other and we went on till we reached the school. However, the scene I saw wasn't something I expected at all.

Instead of being flocked and interrogated for our relationship, they pulled him away. A lot of his friends grabbed them into their group as they went to the classroom that the two of us wasn't able to budge. Since there is nothing I can do, I just proceeded like normal even though there are gazes from the girls around me. Not that I can blame them since they know me as an unpleasant girl from my ex-boyfriend. Summer break just ended yet this notorious reputation of mine still lingers. At the very least, I'm sure that my classmates support me for who I am which keeps me going. Walking towards my classroom, I greeted the teachers who I met as well as the people I know. Some even teased me about the video that went around a few weeks ago.

Afterwards, I reached my classroom and my friends came rushing towards me and asked me a lot of questions. This is quite tiring and problematic, but it feels fun when you're surrounded by a lot of people. One by one, I answered their questions although they are yet to ask if I accepted his confession. I would be stunned if any one of them would ask me this. Moments later, homeroom began and so all the hype died down and each and every one of my classmates returned to their seats. A few weeks of vacation time ended as if it were only yesterday. Right now, I'm back to going to and from school every single day. Although, I've been thinking of joining a particular club to match his schedule. Eventually, class ended and I proceeded to the soccer field to check on him. There, he is training vigorously will his teammates. There are no familiar faces within the group which goes without saying, aside from the one person I previously dated. It felt peculiar since the last time he isn't even a member of the soccer club. Then, I felt bewildered when I saw the two of them talk and shared a laugh with each other. This is pretty much something I did not expect, specially after what happened last time. But, this is nothing a little talk with him can't solve.

While waiting at a nearby bench, a few hours already passed. Then, the two of us made eye contact and it surprised me. He didn't even look away so I wondered if there was something wrong. Thus, I looked around and behind me but no one is there aside from me. When I looked back in front of me, he was no longer there and he suddenly appeared by my side. Who would have thought that my ex-boyfriend would show up like this. He ran towards me and I could see that since he is panting and trying hard to catch his breath. I stood up out of formality and waited for him to talk since there may be something he wanted to tell me. Eventually, he bowed and asked me if I can give him one more time to redeem himself. I asked him why he's telling this to me now. There, he told me that he regretted ever going out with me under the pretense of revenge which hurt my feelings. He even told me that the moment he saw the video from the internet, he felt jealous and thought about how it should have been him who was there.

I was about to tell him my true feelings when he took out something from his pocket. He cut me short and told me that the pearl in his hand symbolizes his new-found pure feelings for me and that this time around he will do his best in order to make me happy. He even apologized to me for whatever he did in the past. He waited for my reply, but even though it's possible to give a second chance to someone you once loved, this time I can no longer do it. I'm now happy with the person beside me so I cannot just up-and-go as if everything that happened was for naught. Thus, I clenched his fist and told him that he should keep it to the person he will love in the future. I said that I appreciate his feelings for me but that now I have someone beside me who I know can make me the happiest person ever. Being dejected with my response, he asked me if it is really my childhood friend who I'm going out with at the moment. However, before I was able to respond, someone grabbed me from behind and embraced me. I was about to move away when I heard his voice and what he said afterwards.

It seemed like something unexpected just unfolded by my very eyes. But, now I'm just sitting again on the bench and now I'm alone. A few minutes may have passed, but I could still feel the heat from his body as well as the sweat which almost drenched my uniform. That time, I thought I would be able to respond about how I really am dating my childhood friend. However, it was actually him who said this while I am within his arms. I felt a chill down my spine as I looked at him. He had a mischievous smile on his face and I thought that this would end badly. Although, for some reason the person who just confessed to me smiled with a hurt looked on his face and said that he should have known better when he once dated me.

Afterwards, the two of them exchanged a brief wave and nothing more happened contrary to what I previously thought. Apparently, the two of them grew close to each other as he learned to relieve his vengeful feelings from the past. Yet, even after the person in front of me left, he is still holding me tightly. So, I asked him if he felt jealous when another guy approached and talked to me. Then, he turned me around and placed his forehead into mine. There, he told me that there is no way he can feel jealous when I already belong to him. I felt embarrassed with what he just did and said so I moved away and tried to regain my composure. On the other hand, he just laughed at me before telling that he'll go back to the field for the training. As I was sitting, I wondered how he managed to become so sweet just like that when in the past he constantly forced himself on me. Although, I could never say that I hate this side of him which is gentle and mischievous at the same time.

Eventually, the training ended and he proceeded to change his clothes. Afterwards, he fetched me and then we went home together. While we were walking, he apologized to me since I had to wait for him when I could have went home as soon as class ended. I told him that there is no need to apologize as it is clearly my choice. Then, I told him that I plan on joining a particular club I'm interested in. He then enthusiastically asked me if I would be joining the soccer club as the manager. Without stopping, he kept on complimenting me sarcastically before I asked him to stop with an annoyed look on my face. There, I told him that he just need to wait and see for himself. However, more than anything else, I've been thinking about his recent personality. I don't know if it just so happens that he changed just for me or this is how he really is and he was just suppressing everything all this time. But, if this would keep up, I could be rest assured that our relationship will sail smoothly contrary to whatever happened in our past together. There are more challenges other than this one in the future and I don't know whatever they would be, but this is my decision and I'll see this through till the end without any regrets. A few minutes later, we went back home. However, there is something serious which I forgot about. I was too inclined with the changes and the events that recently happened that I've become quite lax with my surroundings.

Shortly after eating dinner, I motioned that I'll go up early in order to accomplish the homework for the day which is about mathematics, my weakest subject. As soon as I went inside my room, I took out my notebook and went to my study desk. I finished all my summer homework shortly after the start of the break so I still feel nostalgic about this. I noticed this since my handwriting seemed to have suffered for a bit. This was more prominent when I looked at the lecture I wrote earlier at class. I thought that I should rewrite it but changed my decision when I realized that I'd just waste time doing it. Thus, I started doing my homework and I kept on looking back and forth at my reference book. It was so complicated that I even resorted to using the internet which didn't help at all. The result of all the searching and checking just confused me even more. I was too engrossed with what I was doing that I didn't realize that he already went inside my room.

Suddenly, he hugged me from behind and kissed my neck. I asked him what he was doing and I told him to stop since I'm busy, but he continued. Then, I felt him lick my neck before turning my seat around and kissed me on my lips. He forced himself on me that I wanted to break-free, yet his tongue had already been moving aggressively inside my mouth. I felt really numb that I dropped the ball pen I was holding. Due to this, I gained my composure, pushed him away and stood up. He fell on the floor so I apologized to him for abruptly pushing him. I hovered my hand towards him yet he pulled me towards him and then pushed my back on the floor. In front of me, all I could see his figure and the look in his eyes which I forgot existed. I was already trembling from the shock that I've been thinking of what I should tell for him to stop, but nothing comes to mind. Then, he inserted his hand inside my blouse and fondled with my frontals. He's now my boyfriend and I thought I'm already prepared for something like this, but I can't help that I'm still scared. Due to this, tears fell down from my eyes as he passionately kissed me. Honestly, I didn't want something like this to happen, not after how our relationship has slowly grew into something more.

Then, he stopped what he was doing, held my back and raised me up. All I could feel is that he is embracing me tightly and his head lying down on my chest. I don't know what it is that he wanted to do, but I felt relieved as soon as he stopped. For a while, he stayed there while hugging me that I couldn't move. I waited for him to talk as he may have something in mind that he wanted to tell me. Then, he finally talked and the first word that came out from his mouth was an apology. He kept on apologizing to me for what he just did. He told me that he already decided that he'll respect me as a woman and wait until I'm ready, but he broke it just like that. He told me how he wanted to love me the way normal guys does, and not just for my body. However, he explained that no matter what, it seemed impossible to control his urge no matter how much he wanted to suppress it.

I could hear his apologetic tone that I couldn't start to hate him for what he just did. So, I touched his head and motioned my hand on his hair, as a way of comforting. Then, out of nowhere he told me that contrary to what he said earlier, he really felt jealous when he saw me talking with a guy, and to my ex-boyfriend at that. Through this, I thought about how he could feel this way for me and that I felt happy when I heard him say this. Moments later, he loosened his arms and looked at me with calm eyes. Eventually, he asked me if he could kiss me, but he looked away and whispered about how he thinks it's too late to ask for my permission now after what he just did to me. Upon hearing this, I mustered the courage and kissed him on the lips. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I acted this bold and I felt embarrassed until I saw him look away with his cheeks completely red. Afterwards, he immediately stood up and went outside of my room without saying a word. Again, this is the first time he acted this way, the way he blushed and then going out. I touched my lips which still felt hot and the sensation from kissing him still lingering. There, I thought about how it would be great if he at least felt something when I did this to him without a moment's notice.

I looked at the mirror and saw how my blouse is all crumpled and that some of the buttons are no longer in their respective holes. Right then, I immediately looked away from the mirror as I felt embarrassed myself. Just like that, I made sure to lock the door and then I went to take a bath. I showered for a while before entering the lukewarm water inside the bathtub. While relaxing, I couldn't help but see the look on his face when he embraced me and the way he kept on apologizing to me. For some reason, this sight couldn't leave my thought no matter how I try to think about something else. I slid down some more until my nose is just a few centimeters away from the water. At that moment, I tried to imagine the look on his face which seemed really calm and sweet. However, as soon as the sponge which fell down on the bathtub absorbed water, it sunk. It surprised me when it suddenly touched my frontal that I almost screamed before realizing what it was. I nearly forgot how he touched and fondled me there just a few minutes ago that I felt really hot and embarrassed. Suddenly, I remembered how I still have a really complicated homework to accomplish so I hurried outside the bath and prepared everything. Hours later, I went to sleep as I dimmed the lights inside my room.