A Childhood Relationship Chapter I: THE BEGINNING AND DISTANCE

Chapter 7

CHAPTER VII: RESPONSIBILITY

Morning arrived yet I still cannot forget what just happened last night. Good thing I was able to stop something from actually happening between us. I washed my face and changed into my uniform before going down since I expected that he won't cook breakfast for me after what happened. Downstairs, contrary to my initial thought, he prepared the breakfast like usual. This time, he went earlier to school. When I caught a glimpse of him, I saw the gauze on his face and I couldn't help but look away from him. Then, I thought about how him going earlier works good for me as I still don't want to see him. As soon as he left, I ate breakfast and washed the dishes for the first time in his house. The moment I went to school, my classmates were talking about how my ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend were not at school. Also, their parents arrived to meet the principal. Due to that, they thought that maybe he got her pregnant as it was the only logical answer to it. I wondered about how something like that isn't exactly possible so I asked my friends regarding their own situation. They each told me that their boyfriends know what they're doing. Apparently, they only do it whenever it is safe for them to do in order to avoid creating an accident especially when they're still freshmen. Eventually, I went home only to see that he still wasn't there. I received a message from him for the first time and told me that he'll prepare dinner shortly after his practice. I wondered what he was talking about since he is not a member at any sports club at all. In order to pass the time, I just went to my room to wait to be called for dinner. Soon, he arrived and he was wearing his gym uniform since I saw him when I went down. He apologized for being late before preparing the dining table as he already cooked the food while I was upstairs. We began eating and out of curiosity, I asked him why he had to practice. He then told me how he joined the soccer club and that now he needs to practice a lot to make up for lost time. It was actually the first normal conversation we had and I was the one who started it. Yet, all we talked about was that single question and answer and nothing more.

Then, the days passed normally until we discovered how the girlfriend of my ex-boyfriend is actually pregnant. Apparently, her friends were talking about it which in turn allowed the entire school to know her present situation. With this, they were removed from the school as common protocol in order to avoid ruining the image of our educational institution. For now, their future is put on hold and the only way they can continue studying was to move to another school. Although, it is rare for a school to accept pregnant students which would become a problem for them. Seeming that it could have been me, I felt troubled and relieved at the same time since it wasn't me. With this, I asked my friends again if they know the reason for her sudden pregnancy. They then told me how according to her friends, her boyfriend did it without using any contraceptive. I don't know how contraceptives looks like, but I do know that it is used to prevent any unwanted pregnancy.

With what has happened, I decided to go to a department store at the city to buy more locks for my room seeming that I'm around a really dangerous person. I looked around the area but I couldn't find one that is suitable for my room. Finally, I managed to get something that was decent yet cheap enough for me to afford with my allowance. The salesperson asked me if I needed to buy tools with it, I declined since I saw that there was a toolbox at his house the last time I checked. While walking around the city, I found a large pastry shop so I decided to buy some. It took me a while to choose the flavors I wanted to try since I'm running on a limited budget. After a while, I was only able to buy two and it was packed in a cute little box. However, the price is really staggering, now that the tax was factored in. Well, it'll just be a one-time thing so I think letting myself feel some happiness every once in a while is acceptable.

I took the bus home and the good thing was I came just in time. I met some people from my school, including those from my ex-boyfriend's class so I pretended not to see them. If I knew I'd meet people I don't want to see here, I should've taken the more expensive train back home. Seeing them now made me remember my humiliation from when I was dumped by my boyfriend. Actually, I could still vividly remember their gaze and laughter when they learned of the lie that I sell myself for money. Now that I think about it, if I really sell myself like what they said, I wouldn't have to worry about buying whatever I want. Still, it doesn't matter now, all I need to do is just to go back to his house and install the new locks I bought from the department store.

Then, as soon as I got back to his house, I checked the locks that I bought. I looked around the house for the toolbox since they somewhat disappeared. I decided to look around the garage one more time and found it hidden beside some stuff which wasn't there the last time I went there. I then took them inside my room and opened it only to see tools of various shapes and sizes. I grabbed the tools that I seemed to need and began to place the locks on my door. However, for some reason, contrary to my initial thought, I had a hard time placing them. It took me a great deal of time yet I still can't find out how I will place them on the door. If I knew this is going to happen, I wouldn't have considered buying the locks. As it stands, I've just wasted money for something I cannot even use. I tried again, but the screws won't pierce the door no matter how much I twist the screwdriver towards it that I made no progress if any at all aside from unintentionally breaking a sweat.

I was too engrossed with what I was doing that I didn't realize he already arrived back to the house and opened the lock to the door. Then, he went upstairs to put back his stuff and there he saw me with the locks on my hand. I felt worried that he may feel angered from my not trusting him at all, so I didn't know what to say and stayed quiet, hoping that he'll leave. Surprisingly, he walked towards me and I prepared for the worst until he grabbed some tools and proceeded to install the locks on my door. It took a while and I was just there standing speechless until I realized he was already done as he grabbed all the trash and closed my door, but not before saying that it is already done. I wondered why he didn't even get mad for what I just did but I disregarded it seeming that what he does is none of my concern at all. He even installed it without asking any questions, so I guess he is aware of his own responsibility. After all, he is the one who attacked me in the first place. So, it is entirely his fault if ever I felt in danger whenever I'm with him. With the locks in place, I proceeded to eat the expensive pastries I bought and was about to sleep. But, he called me for dinner and I seriously forgot about it. I didn't want to go down now, but I had no other choice. I went downstairs and saw the food already prepared and they're quite the delicacy as expected of him, but I'm already full. So, I told him hat I already ate pastries I bought from the city so I will not eat dinner. I went upstairs right after telling it to him as he just stayed quiet. I guess he felt annoyed since I didn't tell him earlier but it is better this way as he'll stop liking me if things like this continue. With that, I was able to sleep in peace without any worry and our days proceeded like normal.

Then, a day arrived when I went to school alone seeming that he was late and that there was no breakfast served yet. Due to this, I had to go to the shopping district to the east first to buy breakfast and lunch as it would be cheaper than in the cafeteria. As I bought my bento from a corner store, I proceeded to go to the school to avoid being late. There, the housewives who are buying fresh groceries are talking to each other when I passed by them while I was walking. There, they spontaneously talked to me and told me how I managed to tame the neighborhood delinquent with my iron fist. They laughed and told me how I still am the Iron Lady of the neighborhood. This was the first time I heard about it in a long time, as I was nicknamed as the Iron Lady when I was still young. After all, I would always walk around the neighborhood with him while constantly ordering him around and he would obediently follow without any objection. I felt bewildered as to what they are talking about and so I asked and they told me that because of me, he is no longer involved in brawls around the neighborhood and it seemed peaceful and quiet again. It appears that they are aware that we're living together in his house, not that I can blame them since neighborhood gossips go a long way in this town. They even talked about how he no longer plays around and bring girls to his house. Then, I felt curious and asked them what they were talking about, they then told me that he would always bring different girls to his house whenever his parents are away and that they just stayed quiet since they'd be meddling at that point. I was surprised with what they told me, but I already said my goodbye as I'll surely be late for school if I talk with them any longer. I went to school while thinking about what he was doing before we entered high school.

Eventually, class ended so I went straight back home. Good thing the class representative is already back from the hospital so I can go home earlier than him which is good at times like this. As soon as I went back to his house, I took a look around his room and checked the entirety of it for evidences of him taking home girls. Then, I went to the other side of his bed which I don't actually clean. I really wanted to find some evidence if whatever they are saying is indeed true. After all, merely believing in gossips without hard evidences isn't something an educated person like me would do. There on the side of his bed, I saw several candy-like rubbers with fluids inside them that I thought about how they looked similar to what my ex-boyfriend used with an almost similar smell. I called one of my friends at that moment and asked about the things in front of me. She then told me how they're condoms and that they're contraceptives, similar to what his boyfriend uses. Through that clarification, I acquired the evidences I wanted to see. Thus, I took them all away and brought them on the doorstep to his room as I waited for his return from club activities. Then again, why am I doing something like this even though it is none of my concern. But, I realized how returning them would be as troublesome as throwing them away so I decided to stick with my initial plan.

As soon as he returned, he was shocked when he saw everything that I arranged. He asked me where I found them and so I confronted him about them and asked him if it was really true that he brings girls to his house to play around with them. He then confessed to me how for the past three years he had been doing it for fun and that he didn't know that some remained inside his room. I asked him why he would do it at his own house and repeatedly at that. He just answered how it would be expensive if he would go to hotels and that it is also convenient for him after engaging in the act. With what I heard from him, I told him how he is really the lowest of the low and went outside towards my room. Then again, why would I get mad at what he does, it's not like we're boyfriend and girlfriend, sometimes I don't understand myself. Although, I didn't know the reason as to why, I was really pissed off regarding that simple matter where I'm not supposed to be involved with.

He went in front of my room at that moment. He tried to reason out with me how he no longer does it with other girls when I started living at his house. To be precise, he told me how he stopped doing it with girls as soon as he entered High School. What did he want to imply when he told this to me, that it was because of me that he's now painstakingly playing with himself alone. So, I ignored him and told him to just leave as blaming me for his own struggles is really in bad taste. Then, I heard a loud thud on the floor and the moment I checked, I saw him collapsed on the floor.

Seeming that something may have happened to him, I ran towards him as I panicked and found out that he has a fever. With that, I helped him towards his bedroom into his bed. I also took out the blanket and covered him with it as he was having a hard time breathing and his cheeks are red. I looked around the medicine cabinet for fever medicine, but they're all expired and can no longer be used. So, I bought medicines from the nearby convenience store. I even went so far as to get some cold water and a towel to place on his forehead which I will replace every once in a while. I asked him to drink the medicine and then helped him drink the water so my job is done and I'll just check him back after a while. However, as I was already about to leave, he grabbed my arm and asked me not to leave him behind. Actually, he seemed like a kid who is afraid of being left alone, especially with the way he talked with his teary eyes and difficulty in breathing. It was the first time that I saw him make that face, one which is exactly the same as when we are still young. I resisted at first, but seeming that he was really sick, I stayed beside him and sat on a chair.

Eventually, he fell asleep and I knew since his grip loosened and so I proceeded to go out of his room until he called my name and told me he loves me and then he apologized afterwards. He was talking in his sleep and it made my heart beat really fast and I couldn't stop it for some reason. With that, I decided to take a cold shower to forget the fuzzy feelings and the thought that I'm starting to like him despite the fact that I don't like him. I kept on telling myself that I'll never stop not liking him for what he has become. As soon as I left the shower and into his room, I realized how his fever didn't go down and in fact it even rose up that he was already convulsing that I became really worried that he might die so I called my mother. There, she told me how I needed to calm down and not to panic as it is nothing serious. She even laughed at me for being too concerned about him who is actually my future husband. I was about to argue back for her teasing me, but I was too worried about him to do so. There, she told me how I needed to remove his clothes and wipe away his sweat. After all, it would be bad if his sweat ever dries. I thanked my mother before closing my phone.

With what my mother instructed me to do, I took a pail of lukewarm water and a towel. There, I proceeded to unbutton his uniform, albeit while my hands are shaking and I saw his body which was full of sweat. I wiped him gently as I saw the pained look on his face. His body was really hot that it became really awkward for me whenever my wrist touches him. as opposed to my washing myself, wiping him is really hard as he has a really big body, much different from mine. Then, I looked at his pants and saw that it was also wet so I hesitantly removed them. Then, I covered his bottom half and removed his underwear as well since it is also wet from his sweat. Throughout that night, I kept on changing the towel on his forehead when his cell phone rang. I thought I'll reject the call so as not to disturb him, but it was his father. With that, I went outside and answered the call. Before I was able to talk, he shouted and talked about how he was inconveniencing me. Apparently, his father is mad at him for making me take care of himself. Then, I talked and it obviously surprised him and apologized for shouting. There, I told him how he collapsed on the floor and that he didn't actually ask me to take care of him and that it was through my own free-will. Thinking that it was the perfect time for me to return the favor of him installing the locks on my room, I told his father about what actually happened a few months ago. I told him not to get mad at him for creating a fire since I was the one who caused it. I told him that he just covered for the accident I made when I tried to cook for us. I know that by telling the truth, surely his relationship with his parents would return back to normal, even for a bit. He thought that I was just telling it under orders from him to return his allowance back to its normal amount so I told him that it was not. Thus, he was convinced about what I told him before our conversation ended. I went back to the bed beside him until I fell asleep from being tired. After all, I cannot leave him alone as I am worried about him.

Eventually, I woke up when I felt someone touching my hair and saw his face close to me that I pushed him away and called him a pervert since he wasn't wearing a shirt. I told him how he was the worst for attempting to take advantage of my body. Then, I realized that I was actually the one who removed his clothes so I felt embarrassed for my mistake and apologized for running my mouth. He was surprised at first, but he thanked me for taking good care of him while he was sick and he smiled at me. There, I saw what seemed to be his smile that disappeared three years ago. I became flustered so I told him that it was okay, then I hurried towards my room and immediately wore my uniform. However, I forgot that it was already Saturday so there was no class and I panicked for no reason at all. I couldn't forget the cheerful smile on his face that I didn't want to stay with him since he was just at the other room that I decided to walk around the neighborhood. I did this so that I won't be deceived by him showing his kindness to me. That day, no matter what I did, I cannot help but feel my heart beating really fast. After all, for the first time he didn't forcefully kissed me and instead he just touched my hair gently. It's like he's slowly changing into a person who is more like my ideal boyfriend.

Eventually, it was Monday again and for some reason, it looked like he reverted to what he was as when I would look at him, he would turn his gaze away. Seeming that I still cannot move on from my curiosity, I asked my friends regarding the rumors about him. They told me how he used to play around with girls. In fact, girls would even give their first-times to him before accepting the feelings of those that confessed to them. After all, he is really skillful in bed and he doesn't impregnate girls accidentally no matter how active his s*x life was. They even mentioned how he accepts money to make love with girls and that they are really happy they didn't sign up for his services as their future boyfriends wouldn't like it. They even joked around about how when I started living at his place, he stopped playing around with girls altogether that he would always reject the requests of girls no matter the amount shown in front of him. But, they didn't know the fact that he told me he stopped playing around with girls when he started High School.

Suddenly, my friends tapped my shoulder and told me how I did a good job in turning him into a docile person, however I didn't actually do anything. They even told me how he even joined the soccer club that he would always go home late instead of playing around. Even though I know that I really am the reason, I cannot simply tell them that it really is. I went straight back to his house right after class like usual. Then, I proceeded to watch television at the living room as I waited for him to prepare dinner. I'm also curious about how he would take money as payment from girls. After all, he is good looking so it is only normal that girls wanted him to be their firsts even though they are not really in a relationship, but I still need to clarify it. Then, it came to me again, why am I really curious about knowing more about him even though it really is none of my concern.