The Invisible Mystery

Chapter 32: Liana's Wishes

Right after we had talked about another problem that we had to face, I found myself alone in that place as I did not follow them when they said that it was time for them to go somewhere else.

I decided to stay, claiming that I wanted to appreciate the view on this part of this park, but in fact, I only wanted to be alone so that I could think about everything that had bothered me, because of the thought that I had earlier.

I was torn, really, because I could not seem to decide anything at all. It seemed like I wanted to really help them to get what they wanted to have, but I also wanted to be selfish so that I would be able to stay with them for a little bit longer—so that I could stay as their friend for as long as I could.

I let out a sigh, as that heaviness in my heart had suddenly returned because of what I had thought about. That sadness that I felt earlier suddenly came out once again, and it seemed as though I did not know how to handle it at all—I did not know how I would react to it.

Maybe I should just accept it as it was. Maybe I should really just support them, just like how it should have been, and just let these feelings go, as I knew that I did not have any choice at that moment.

After all, just like what I had thought of earlier, I knew that everything was bound to happen and I did not have a choice but to let it really happen—I did not have any choice but to watch the scene unfold as I saw them leave me one after another.

I felt that pain in my chest once again, but I tried to brush it off as I convinced myself that it would end in vain if I kept on feeling like this—I was only bound to get hurt even more than this, and I knew that they never wanted me to feel like that.

“It seemed like you were in deep thought.”

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard that familiar voice behind me, and I could not stop the confusion that I felt when I saw and confirmed that it was Thunder, and he was alone while staring right into my eyes.

I even looked around me to see if there was someone else in that place, but I got even more confused when I confirmed that he was indeed alone—without his twin, or anyone else that I thought would be there with him.

After all, this might be the very first time that I ever thought that he was alone with me. As I even think about it, I think that this was the first time that we found ourselves in this kind of situation.

We were not talking to each other without the other students of section A, after all. We never really interact with each other, because I always see him with them and I never even saw him alone in our classroom, or even in this place.

It seemed like he had figured out that I was looking for something, or rather someone, because I heard him say to me, “Evo was worried about claiming that you are unwell,” which made me let out a sigh because it seemed like Evo still had not given up with that thought. “So I volunteered to look after you, just in case it is true.”

I just waved my hands off at him as soon as I heard him say that to me, because I knew that I did not have any choice any longer but to let him do whatever he wanted to, as I already knew that Evo would surely scold him if ever he saw that I was alone in this place.

“I’m just really fine though,” I whispered to myself as I looked at the scenery in front of me once again.

That was also the moment that I felt that he sat beside me, as he laughed as though he had heard what I just said to myself—as though he also knew the truth, the one that Evo could not seem to figure out earlier.

“I can tell that you are really just alright, Liana.”

“Then, why are you still here?”

My eyes immediately widened because of what I just said, as I knew that it might have come out as rude to him. It seemed as though I did not want him to be here, which was part of the truth there, because I wanted to be alone at that time, but still, I knew that I also wanted someone to accompany me—and I knew that something like that was meant to have a negative impression on him.

I hastily looked at him as I tried to explain myself, but before I could even do something like that, he just laughed as he even waved his hands as though he also knew that I did not mean to say that in a rude manner.

“I know what you wanted to say to me,” he said to me as he finally looked away from me, and just chose to stare at the scenery in front of us. “Though I must say that we both did not have any choice but to be here, because I know that I will never get to hear the end of it, if ever Evo figured out that I left you behind.”

I could not stop the laugh that suddenly came out of my mouth when I heard him say that, because I also knew that Evo would really do that if he ever refused to do what he asked him. I knew that Evo would just scold him if ever—so I just decided to let that topic go as I shrugged my shoulders as though I knew that this was the best choice for him, and well, also for me.

“Do not mind me though,” he said to me once again, which made me look in his direction once again, but he was not looking at me but rather, he was looking straight ahead. “Just pretend that I am not here and continue on whatever you were doing earlier.”

I kept on staring at him, before I finally just followed what he said because it seemed like he would really pretend that we were not in this kind of situation. It seemed like he would pretend that we were both alone, even though it was not really the case at that moment.

I tried to think of the thoughts that I had earlier, but it seemed like I was already getting distracted because I could not seem to focus on my thoughts any longer. I could not seem to get back at that moment before Thunder suddenly surprised me with his presence, so all I did was to look at him with wonder.

“This is the first time that I saw you without your twin,” I told him, which made him look at me as though he never expected me to talk to him once again. “I always see you with Storm, so I thought that he was with you when you came here.”

He stared at me for a whole second, before he finally answered me as though he knew that I had been waiting for his reply to what I had said.

“He said that he wanted to take a rest, so I did not push him to accompany me here anymore,” he said to me, and I just nodded my head at him—understanding what he said, because I remembered that Abigail was also doing something like that to me whenever I did not feel like to do something.

“I see.”

I just whispered those two words as though I did not know what to say any longer, and it seemed like he also figured it out because I heard him ask me once again, as if he wanted to continue this very first conversation of ours—alone, to be exact.

“You would not ask more about it?” he asked as though he was prepared to answer everything that I would ask him, but to his disappointment, I just shook my head as I stared straight ahead.

“I have a sister,” I started to say to him, even though I did not know if he was interested in hearing what I was trying to tell him.

I continued to tell him what I wanted to say, though. After all, I really wanted to be proud of my sister, and I wanted him to know that they were almost the same in the way he was taking care of his twin.

“She was also doing the same thing you were doing for Storm,” I told him, honestly, as I suddenly remembered the things Abigail would do for me in the past. “I think that she was the best sister that anyone could have.”

“You seemed so close to her,” Thunder mused, and I was glad that he was really interested in what I was telling him.

I nodded my head, excitedly. “I am really proud of her,” I even answered him, as proudness was evident in my voice.

“I am proud of my twin too,” Thunder said, which made me look at him with a soft expression on my face, though he never saw it as he kept on staring at the sky.

I did not even notice that he had already laid his back on the grass as he kept on staring at the skies above us. It was almost as though he wanted to calm his mind, and that was his way to do it.

“I am so proud of him, to the point that I wanted to do everything for him.”

My smile softened even more as soon as I heard that from him. After all, I knew that he really meant every single thing that he was saying to me at that moment. I knew that he wanted to tell me this, because it was a genuine feeling for him.

“I do not wish to worry him in any way,” he even told me as he gave me a side glance, and he smiled when he saw that I was staring right back at him, before he continued to look at the sky. “That was why I wanted to find a way for us to cross the afterlife, because I knew that he was getting worried as days went by that we were still here.”

My heart dropped because of that, because that was the moment that I realized that it was deeper than I thought it was. I realized that everything that they were doing as of that moment was not only for their own benefit, but also for the people around them.

I looked down as soon as I had thought of those things, and that heavy feeling that I felt before suddenly returned, as though my heart knew the pain that they were feeling as days went by that they were still here—on this world—even though they were not meant to exist in this place anymore.

“That’s why I also accepted to come here and accompany you, Liana,” he said, which made me feel confused as to what he wanted to say to me because it seemed like I could not comprehend anything at all. “I wanted to discuss with you about that suggestion you had earlier; about the answer that you found so that we could cross the afterlife.”

I looked straight into his eyes as soon as those words had left his mouth, and I immediately asked him if he really thought that was the answer they had been looking for all this time.

He nodded his head at me, before he even said, “We all think that was the answer that we have been looking for, but just like what we said earlier, we were just being in denial about it.”

“Why though?” I asked, even though I also knew what they wanted to imply earlier—even though I already knew the answer to that question. “Why was it so hard to figure out the thing you guys had wished for?”

He smiled, that kind of smile that was telling me as though he was in pain and was just masking it with that bitter smile of his. It was as though they did not know why it was so hard, and why they could not figure out their own wishes.

“Maybe because we were so focused on reaching others' goals, that is why we were having a hard time finding ours.”

I did not know why, but it felt like it hit me differently when I heard him say that. I did not know why, but it felt like I suddenly felt a slight pain in my chest when those words had left his mouth.

“Everyone has been expecting us to be on top, to be the best of the best, to be the person they wanted to be,” he even added, and I almost teared up with that thought because, somehow, I knew that I could relate to them. “To the point that we have completely forgotten who we are, and what our own goals are.”

I knew that somehow, I was also like them. I knew that there was a point in my life where I also felt that way, because of people’s high expectations of me—because I was so worried about what they had to say to me.

“What about you, Liana?” he asked, which made me snap out of my train of thoughts as I looked at him once again. “What are your wishes that you wanted to fulfill in this world?”

“I wanted to be the best at everything,” I told him without even bathing an eyelash, but I immediately regretted it as soon as I said those words.

Not because it felt like I was boasting, but because I think that it was not genuine. It felt like I was only lying to myself, and it seemed like Thunder had also felt it because of what he said next.

“Is that what you really wanted for yourself?”

It felt like my heart had been pierced because of what he asked me. It felt like I was being torn because of that sudden realization. It felt like he knew that I was only lying to myself and that was not really what I wanted to say to him.

“I don’t know,” I answered him, honestly, as I looked down as though I did not know what to say to him any longer.

It was as though he made me realize something. He was the first one to ask that kind of question, and for the first time in my life as Liana Elisse Smith, I was unsure of my answer, as though I also knew that I was just fooling myself.

“I figured,” he said, which made me look at him once again, but he was already standing and it seemed as though he was about to leave this place, though he stopped as if he felt my gaze on him. “Do not let people dictate what you want to do, Liana.”

I do not know if it was just my imagination, or if he really said the next words to me, but either way, I think that was really the case because the words that he said to me before he completely left me behind struck into my heart once again.

“Let yourself decide what you wish for. Let yourself decide what you want to achieve, and never listen to them. Never listen to the standards that they set for you.”