Chapter 41: Pain and Realizations
1192 Words
I found myself all alone in that part of the Lost Soul’s Forest once again. I found myself thinking about all those things that had suddenly happened right in front of my eyes—right in front of me, when I was still trying to figure out everything that had happened.
It seemed like I could still comprehend everything that had happened. I could not seem to process anything at all, because one minute, Thunder was just beside me, and now, I found myself all alone in this place—I found myself thinking about what had just happened, even though I still did not know if it was really true or not.
Maybe it really was. It was the truth, because I could still feel the tears that could not seem to stop from falling. I still could feel that pain that I had felt once I finally realized that this was already the end for him—well, the end of his journey in this world, to be exact.
I still could not understand what had happened at all. It felt like a dream, but I knew that it was not. It felt like it was not the reality, but I also knew that I was only fooling myself if I made myself believe that it was otherwise.
I did not know what I was supposed to do, so that I would be able to accept every single thing that had happened. I did not even know if I would really be able to comprehend everything, because it seemed like everything was just playing tricks with me—it felt like the world was really against the thought of me being happy with everyone around me.
I know that I should accept the fact that I would be alone once everyone had fulfilled their wishes in this world. I knew that I had to prepare myself with that thought, but then again, it seemed like even though I was already trying to make myself prepare for everything that was supposed to happen, the process would still be the same.
I was bound to be hurt. I was bound to be alone. I was bound to go and continue my life while carrying this pain of being left all alone in this world, because the people that I managed to cherish were not supposed to exist in this world any longer—because they were bound to leave this place sooner rather than later.
I wanted to laugh at my past self, for thinking that I was all too prepared for this to happen—for wondering what would happen once one of them would disappear right in front of my eyes… for wondering if I would be able to take the pain that I would feel once one of them would bid their last goodbye to me.
I wanted to laugh, because it seemed like I was so wrong when I thought that I would easily accept everything that would happen—because I made a vow to myself that I would do everything that I could so that I would be able to help them fulfill their final wish in this world… because I had already promised them that I would do my best to help them on finding out the ‘truth’ they wanted to know.
It seemed like I was right all along. I would not be able to fully accept anything that could happen. I would not be able to stop myself from hurting so much, because the people that I considered as my friends would one day leave me all behind, and I would not even be able to do anything at all—not even stopping it from happening, because I knew that it was supposed to happen so long ago.
I could not help but to let out a short laugh, because it seemed like fate was not going according to all of my plans—it seemed like it was a step ahead of me, because I never thought that this would happen so fast, when I was still preparing myself from letting them go and have the peace that they wanted to have.
Here I am, getting closer to all of them, and then, suddenly, everything was not going according to how it should have been. Suddenly, they would be gone, and I would not be able to do anything at all about it—I would not be able to stop anything at all, and all I could do was to watch them go away.
“I was only getting to know him better,” I said, not particularly to anyone, but it was more like it was for myself. “I was only about to know more about him, and then, something like this would happen.”
I still could not believe how fast everything had happened. I still could not believe that something like that had happened so fast, and I could not even do something about it because I knew that it would hurt them more than it was supposed to be if I would do anything to stop it from happening.
It would just appear that I was being selfish if I did something like that, though I did not know if it was really just alright to feel so much pain that I was feeling right now—I did not know if they would be happy to know that I was feeling like this way, because someone had left this world and I could not even do anything about it.
I never wanted to become selfish, because I knew that they had been waiting for this to happen for such a long time, though I also knew that I never wanted to feel this hurt, because I did not know if I would ever pick myself up once again—I did not know if I would be able to make myself move forward on the brighter side of this world.
I just realized that I was bound to get hurt. I was bound to feel like this, and I would never be able to stop it from happening—I would not be able to do anything about it, as I knew that I did not have any choice but to let fate plan what would happen to all of us, to all of them.
I just wanted to be alone that time, because I thought that I would not be able to control myself if I ever saw someone from section A—because I did not think that I would be able to stop myself from showing the emotions that I was trying to conceal inside my heart—but it seemed like fate was not really on my side that moment.
It even seemed like it was playing tricks on me, because suddenly, I realized that I was not alone in that place any longer.
Suddenly, I saw Storm standing beside me while he was staring straight at me, as though he already knew what had happened to his twin.
- Writer
