Chapter 40: Letting him Go (Liana)
1074 Words
I saw how Thunder was fading right in front of my eyes. I saw how he was slowly disappearing, and I could not even do anything about it but to accept the reality that this was bound to happen to everyone I got to get close to, even if we just met for a little while.
“Thank you, Liana, for everything that you have done for me,” Thunder said, which made my tears flow even more than before because it seemed like I could not stop my true emotions from coming out any longer.
“I haven’t done so much for you.”
I wanted to do more for him. I still wanted to do so much for him, now that I already knew how much sacrifice he made for everyone around him—now that I finally knew that he had done so much for everyone… that it caused too much for him.
“But it was already enough for me,” he answered, and I could not help but to feel the pain in my chest as though I did not want to let him go—not now that I still could not comprehend anything at all.
Not now that I already knew him more than I ever did before. Not now that we have finally got close to each other, just like how friends should be—just like how they should have been before.
“You have to let go of that feeling you have right now, Liana,” he said to me, as though he could tell that I was hurting as of that moment—as though he knew what I was really feeling at that moment. “For your own sake, and for mine too.”
I knew that I had to. I knew that I was keeping him from crossing the afterlife, but how could I do that? How would I be able to easily let all these go, when he was already disappearing right in front of my eyes?
“This is not the end, Liana. You have to hold on for so long after this,” he said to me, which made me look at him in his eyes. “They were still here, and they needed your help. You are not alone, and you will never be alone.”
He was right. They were still here. They still needed my help, and this cycle would go on and on until all of them would finally be able to cross the afterlife—this pain that I was feeling at that moment would once again be felt once someone else would disappear right in front of my eyes.
I had to accept the reality, but I also knew that I would hold onto this pain that I was feeling as of that moment—the pain of losing someone that I managed to cherish for such a long period of time… the pain that I would eventually feel once someone else had taken his place and left me all alone on this world.
“That’s right. You have to let it go,” Thunder said to me, which made me look at him once again because I could not seem to stop my tears from falling, even though I had already made that decision to accept the fact that he would be gone any second from now.
“I hope you’ll find your happiness and peace in the afterlife.” I told him as I tried to smile while my tears were still falling from my eyes. “I hope that you will find that peace that you never got the chance to have in this world.”
Thunder smiled at me—a smile that I had never seen on his face before… a smile that I knew he only had right now, as he felt peace he never had before.
“And I hope you can also find that one thing you wanted to fulfill, Liana,” he told me as I saw how he was slowly disappearing right in front of me.
I smiled as though I already intended to let him go. I smiled as though I wholly accepted everything that had been happening as of that moment—even though it was already breaking me apart.
Even though I knew that, I still could not comprehend everything that had been happening. Even though I knew that I was still not ready to let him go.
“Please tell them to not worry about me.” He smiled, and I knew that the lone tear that fell on his face was not really my imagination because I knew that he felt so much peace that moment. “Because I had already felt the peace that we all wanted to have.”
I only nodded my head, not trusting that I would be able to contain the emotions that I was feeling as of that moment—I did not know if I was able to stop myself from saying those things that I knew would just make him feel guilty.
I wanted to say not to leave me alone, but I stopped myself from saying anything as I already knew that this was what he was waiting for all this time.
And so, I did that one thing I knew he needed the most at that moment. I smiled, and decided to let him go for his own sake—for mine too.
I watched him go away to a place I knew I still could not reach. I watched him disappear as a smile did not leave my face, because I wanted his last memories in this world to be a time that he did not regret.
I watched him vanish until I was left all alone in that place—until once again, for the first time ever since I first met them, I felt so alone.
Because one of them was once again. Because one of them had finally left this place—had left this world.
I knew I had to let go of them and accept the reality. I knew I had to move on and make my life go on. I knew I had to do it, but it seemed like I could not.
Because the infamous twin of the elite section of Pristine University was gone.
Thunder Wilson was gone.
- Writer
