the last cleanup in stoke

chaper one

As a child, I don't remember much of my early years. Lost memories never got told to me,

leaving me with a sense of emptiness and confusion. I remember fleeting glimpses of being

loved as a child, particularly during my time in primary school. At first, I was a happy and bright

student, eager to learn and make friends. But all of a sudden, something changed within me.

I lost interest in school and became a lonely kid, with not many good memories to look back on.

Memories of being smacked and seeing hand marks left over my body, both me and my brother

Lee, haunt me to this day. Our mother and the man I believed was my father argued a lot,

creating a tense and unstable environment at home. I was never allowed much around him and

had to be in bed before he got home, which left me feeling like an outcast in my own family.

I always felt different, like I never belonged. I would look at other families and wonder why mine

couldn't be like that. The feeling of not fitting in followed me everywhere, leading me to question

my own identity and place in the world.

Despite the chaos at home, I found solace in my imagination. I would create elaborate stories

and scenarios in my head, escaping into a world of fantasy to avoid the harsh reality of my

upbringing. My creativity became my savior, allowing me to express myself in a way that words

never could.

As I grew older, my sense of isolation deepened. I struggled to form meaningful connections with

others, always keeping them at arm's length out of fear of rejection. This complex web of

emotions and experiences shaped me into a guarded and introspective individual, wary of letting

anyone get too close.

In this dystopian landscape of my childhood, I learned to navigate the rough waters of life with a

hardened heart. The scars of my past were etched into my soul, a constant reminder of the pain

and turmoil I had endured. But through it all, I held onto a sliver of hope, believing that one day, I

would find my place in the world and truly belong.

Although my childhood was a turbulent and uncertain time, it was also a period of growth and

self-discovery. The trials and tribulations I faced shaped me into the person I am today, with a

deep empathy for others who have walked a similar path. I may not have all the answers or the

memories of a picture-perfect childhood, but I have the strength and resilience to overcome any

obstacle that comes my way. And for that, I am grateful.