My Last Christmas

Chapter 2: He can't find out

I just wasn’t ready.

Not yet.

Ama didn’t push me again. She knew me too well for that. Instead, she stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, the floorboards creaking softly under her steps. A moment later, I heard the kettle click on.

That was Ama’s way of giving space without saying it.

I leaned back into the cushions, staring at the ceiling fan as it turned slowly above us. My mind kept drifting back to William.

My husband.

Even thinking the word still felt strange sometimes — not because I didn’t love him, but because of how much he had become part of my life without me realizing it. Somewhere between late-night conversations, quiet mornings, and the way he always remembered how I liked my tea.

And now I was keeping something from him.

Something that could change everything.

The kettle whistled, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Ama returned with two mugs, the smell of cinnamon and ginger following her like a warm cloud. She handed one to me and sat back down beside me.

“You’re doing that thing again,” she said.

“What thing?”

“Thinking so loudly I can almost hear it.”

Despite everything, I laughed a little.

Ama didn’t respond right away.

Outside, a car passed slowly, tires hissing against the wet road. The sky was already getting darker — evenings in December always came too fast.

“He loves you,” Ama finally said.

“I know.”

“And you love him.”

I swallowed.

“That’s exactly why this is so hard.”

Ama sighed, leaning back. “You two always make things complicated.”

“We don’t try to.”

“I know,” she said. “That’s the scary part.”

For a moment, neither of us spoke again.

Then my phone vibrated on the table.

Both of us looked at it.

My heart already knew who it was before I even picked it up.

William.

His name glowed on the screen like a question I couldn’t avoid anymore.

Ama watched my face carefully. “Are you going to answer?”

I hesitated.

Because the truth was… once I picked up that call, things might start moving toward the conversation I’d been avoiding since I came back.

And I wasn’t sure I was ready to face what came after that.

The phone kept vibrating.

Finally, I reached for it.

But instead of answering immediately, I just stared at his name for a second longer than I should have.

Somehow, I had a feeling this call was about to change everything.

The phone kept vibrating in my hand.

For a second, I almost let it stop.

Almost.

But Ama was still watching me, and something about the look on her face — not pressure, just quiet expectation — made me swipe across the screen.

“Hello?”

For a moment, all I heard was the faint sound of wind on the other end of the call.

Then William’s voice.

“Keisha.”

My chest tightened. He always said my name like that — calm, steady, but somehow full of things he wasn’t saying out loud.

“Hi,” I replied softly.

Ama slowly stood up and walked toward the kitchen again, giving me privacy this time. I appreciated it more than I could explain.

“You made it back,” William said.

It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah,” I said. “Just earlier today.”

Another pause. Longer this time.

“You didn’t tell me,” he said.

Guilt slipped into my voice before I could stop it. “Everything happened fast.”

“That’s not really the reason, is it?”

I closed my eyes.

William had always been able to read me too easily.

“No,” I admitted quietly.

Outside Ama’s window, the streetlights flickered on, casting a soft golden glow across the room. My reflection in the glass looked tired… and a little scared.

“Are you still at Ama’s place?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“I figured.”

Of course he did.

William knew most of the places my heart ran to when I needed to think.

I twisted the edge of my sleeve between my fingers. “Are you… home?”

There was a small exhale on the other end of the line.

“No.”

That made me open my eyes.

“Then where are you?”

Another pause.

This one felt different — like he was deciding something.

“I’m outside.”

My stomach dropped.

“Outside where?”

“Your building.”

For a second, my brain refused to process the words.

Ama’s apartment suddenly felt smaller.

“You’re joking,” I said, standing up.

“I’m not.”

I walked quickly toward the window, my heart beating faster with every step. When I pulled the curtain aside, the cold evening air brushed against the glass.

And there he was.

William Lance, standing near the streetlight, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat, looking up like he already knew exactly which window was mine.

He lifted his phone slightly, still on the call.

“Hi,” he said again.

My breath caught.

“William… how long have you been out there?”

“A while.”

“You should’ve said something!”

“I tried,” he said gently. “You didn’t answer earlier.”

Right.

The missed calls.

I leaned my forehead lightly against the window. “It’s cold.”

“I’ve handled worse.”

That sounded exactly like him — stubborn in the quietest way possible.

“Why are you here?” I asked, though a part of me already knew.

His voice softened.

“Because something’s wrong, Keisha.”

Silence stretched between us again.

Downstairs, a car passed, headlights sweeping across the street and briefly lighting his face. Even from this distance, I could see the concern in his eyes.

“You left,” he continued. “You came back without telling me. And now you sound like you’re carrying the entire world by yourself.”

My throat tightened.

Ama’s words echoed in my mind.

You’re not protecting him by staying silent — you’re locking him out.

William looked up at my window again.

“Can you come downstairs?” he asked.

My heart started racing.

Because once I walked out that door, there would be no more pretending everything was fine.

And maybe… no more hiding the truth.

I swallowed.

“Give me a minute,” I said.

“Take your time,” he replied.

But something in his voice told me he had already waited long enough.

Behind me, Ama quietly stepped out of the kitchen.

She didn’t ask anything.

She just looked at me — and nodded.

And somehow, that made this moment feel even more real.

I grabbed my coat.

Because for the first time since coming back…

I was finally going to face my husband.