Burnt Flower

First Touch

While others had their love story blossoming in a physical chemical reaction. Mine was sturdy and less of a fanciful tale. Partly because most of my teenage life has been spent withering away from the outside world. Being alien to some things I feel I can't comprehend or possess. So all I ever had as close to a s****l or romantic scenery was consistent fantasy that stays in my imagination. One to remind me of a day that it'll become real. Which it did, not just the way I expected it.

Almost immediately after my admission into the university, we were crippled with an indefinite strike. This strike lasted for as long as eight months, killing the students momentum. Especially, the Freshmen. It was during these hopeless terrorized days which was driven by boredom that made me venture into a contact gain/hangout group. Most of whom were students in my school of course. It first began as an awkward adventure but it became a lot more interesting. Especially when you start discovering people (girls mostly) who you hardly knew but from lots of online conversations, grew interest in you. At that point, I started considering probably, school life wasn't that bad. I was conversing with several girls.. Stash that. Several potential girlfriends. In my little sentimental mind. I felt secured over a possible love life and even entertained a playboy adventure. School was gonna be a wild one and I was ready to linger into every little pleasure it admits to me. I remembered one in particular, Nee'mah. She wasn't even a student of my school. She was going to UI(University of Ibadan) yet she took pleasure in keeping my company. Sometimes, she placed unexpected calls at night, just so we could talk for hours about so many things. In a short period, I became her prima facie lover. And I didn't even know that. She hid her feelings under the idea she was just in love with my voice. But it wasn't that hard putting two and two together before I figured out she had something for me. She informed me of telling her friends about me. Sometimes she'd get me ensnared on the phone, just in order to intrigue me with things she'd do with me or for me if we ever ended seeing. Of course I was delighted sometimes when she brought up those topics, but just like me. I always knew they were all just fantasies that would never occur. Even if we planned its actuation. One time, she developed the idea of coming all the way from Ibadan to visit me. Naturally, I might have followed through and gone along with such an incredulous idea. But I didn't really feel anything for her. Why suffer her when she's only trying to appease her desires to see me? So I kicked against it and thwarted the idea believing it to be too risky and I wasn't ready or in form yet for a Meetup. I could tell this got to her but I felt I was only trying to mitigate the damage I was causing. I got over Nee'mah the day my phone spoiled because of her. Not like it was her fault but my subconsciousness blamed her anyways. That day, I was rocking the chair while on a phone call with her. There was so much laughter and thrill, I didn't know when the chair lost balance and gave way. I went down with it and just so I could protect my head, i sacrificed my phone. The screen went blank almost immediately and I could hear her concerned voice searing from the other line. I picked it up and told her my phone was damaged and I needed time to think. I hung up and never paid attention to her again. It affected whatever little relationship we had, she got herself a new boyfriend and no matter how much I tried fixing our friendship, she doesn't seem to trust me anymore. But this was never a story of Nee'mah. This is mostly concerned with a different girl entirely, One who exposed me to a different patch in love language and entreaty. And she bore the name, Ireoluwa

We started off as friends of course like any normal concept of a building relationship. But I never envisaged or engineered a love life towards her. To me, she was just a friend. And that didn't change till we started finding other interesting parts of ourselves. First, Ire was a dark cute girl with such ass that makes a wild mad man calm. And she took delight in spamming me with several videos of her in sexy exposing dresses, sometimes twerking, twirling or just rocking herself to the beat of a music. I was mesmerized at her boldness and insane yearning to please me. I would stay a night watching her videos again and again and it'll remind me of how I don't need a porn to get me hard. But even so, I did no such thing to make advances, I just took pleasure in my unprecedented luck and complemented her excessively. Our bond kept tightening as time went on. There came a time I went to my cousin's to celebrate a carnival night party with them. The party wasn't that captivating to me so I stayed online. We kept texting each other and when she discovered where I was, She felt somehow insecure and I had to calm her that she was the only girl that really mattered at the time, not like I was really inspired by the ongoing events. This calmed her and we spent the last couple of hours playing truth or dare. And Oh my! there was a list of dirty truths and dares that were uncovered that night. For once, I discovered she was really into me because she had to admit it herself, I also came to realize she wasn't a virgin either which was new to me. I also uncovered the fact that she wanted to f**k me, suck me, straddle me, cuddle me and do all sorts of s****l appeasement with me. I reveled in it. Not like I had it in me, but somehow, I enjoyed it. Almost wanted it, Even though I still believed it was all an illusion that'll eventually erase.

What we had got a lot stronger after this revelation and sometimes she'd make me construct a wild, naughty, nasty, fantasy and narrate it to her in the form of a story. At times she'd ask me to send a voice note just to explain to her how much I wanted her and to what extent I'd go to please her, In return, she'd confessed on how wet she gets wet listening to them and how needy and greedy her longings are towards me. To me, the moments were like unboxing Santa's gift on the eve of Christmas. I'd never felt more alive.

Then resumption began drifting ever closely, every moment felt surreal. And somehow I secretly dreaded facing Ire. I wasn't sure what she might be expecting of me. And yet i'd presented myself on our chats as some bad boy kinda dude. Yet I was none of that. I just had some real f****d up wild imaginations. Eventually our resumption kicked off, setting certain things in motion.

I didn't want to get ahead of myself. So I tried evading her for some time. But I couldn't do that forever either. One day, when I was out with a friend submitting certain forms concerning our admission processes. We were parading around the motion ground when I spotted her, She was also with a friend and they seemed to be in a high state of euphoria. Considering the way they were chattering. My instinct was to reach out to her but I couldn't get myself to do even that. After much contemplation. I ditched my friend for a while and strode towards her. She must have seen me too because she suddenly became a little composed and steadied herself

"Hi"

"Hey!....Umm Do I know you from somewhere?" She asked squinting her face prolly trying to see through the mask I had on.

"You're Iremide right?"

"that would be me...who's asking?". Then it happened, I lost my footings and I developed discomfort, uncertain if I was actually ready to reveal my identity.

"Remember this guy, you text a lot on w******p?" I diverted

"I have lots of those....can you please pull down the mask. I think that should help the situation " She was now giving me one of those suspicious looks. But I knew better so I gently backed off.

"You know what? I'm just gonna text you later. I needed to go back to some things I'm currently doing as you can see" I said showing off the stack of files I had with me. "Goodbye Ire" And with that I turned tail and skippered off. I heard the fading voice of her friend saying who's that weirdo?. And that's how my first encounter with Ire went. That night, I texted her revealing the fact I was the guy she met at the ground. She was shocked to the brim. Queried me incessantly over why I refused to pull down my mask. And I only replied "personal reasons". Of course, coming back from the elongated strike had changed a lot about me....too much that it choked out the life I had intended or desired before then. Now, I only wanted to bury myself behind a coverage. hence _ the mask. We made plans to meet the next day and that went better than expected. She was waiting for me under a tree. She had this long beautiful red gown on and I was really charmed inviting the idea she dressed that beautiful just for me. Of course, I had my mask on. Not still ready to take any chances. I wasn't still sure I might be what she was expecting. I walked towards her and we shook hands

"still masked"? she asked bewildered

"oh don't mind it...it's just a distraction"

"A distraction? from what?".

"you'll see". I was really hoping she'd drop the matter. She turned her head, searching through the crowd as if she was waiting for someone else. And somehow, I suspected she was. I wouldn't say I held a grudge of the fact that I might just be a compromise and she was only using me as the actual distraction while we awaited her true guest. It was exhausting. Knowing it and still pretending I was in the dark. After a while she got a call. I imagined her unseen passenger. She excused herself immediately after the call and said we should probably meet some other time. I watched her leave and wondered if that did any damage to my feelings. I went back to a friend who I'd come with for the continuation of school processing and just when we were done and leaving for the hostel. I saw her with the passenger. She was clearly bad at keeping secrets. I felt the pang of betrayal, not because she might be with someone else but because she deprived me of that information. But I washed it all off quickly. Realizing we might actually have never been a thing. And I prolly did get way over myself.

Getting back to the hostel. I received a message from her saying it's high time we met. Not sure that really bugged me but I couldn't bring myself to table the issue before her and I never really thought I was gonna take her seriously. So I just went on with her decision.

The first day we were to meet. I guess I might have overdressed. I had this yellow hoodie, a blue and yellow striped skinny jean and a multicolored sneaker of yellow, black, white and violet. And I didn't forget my mask either. I might as well have been replaced as a pop star or mad man. But I felt I was trying to make an impression. Getting to her apartment wasn't that really stressful. I took a bike and stopped right just before her house and that was where she came to pick me. She had a very tight gown on and somehow I started considering my chances of being safe. When we got into her room. I gently sat on the chair, apparently trying to avoid an unscrupulous temptation. I pulled off my mask which she noted with a chuckle. She however sat on the bed, pressing her phone, waiting in ambush. I presumed. Then I tried starting a conversation.

"so ....why didn't you recognize me. The first day of our encounter."I inquired.

She gave me a bizarre look.

"I don't know. How do you expect me to recognize you when you were putting on that thing like a freaking Boko Haram" I suspected the mask revelation really got to her. But it seemed like she wasn't that interested in having that conversation. After a lot of risky deliberation. I went over to her and slid beside her body. The reaction was spontaneous. she adjusted her posture and placed her head on my laps. Then she kept pressing her phone. what does she want from me? My mind was literally in chaos at this point. I gently stroke her hair. And while still choking on my thoughts i blurted out

"should I kiss you?" . She gave me a questioning look.

"I don't know. Should you?". I had never felt more troubled before. Of course it was no longer an invitation. It was a face blinding sarcasm and I was just a stupid novice scared of breaking my virgin lips with someone I'm not even sure I was in love with and who was prolly grinding someone else at my back. After a lot of contemplation. I decided to give in to my desire and let down my guard a little bit. I lowered my head and tasted her lips. She was patient anyways. she gave me a slight bite at my then wrapped her arms around my neck. The feeling was new to me so I tried taking my time exploring it. Our lips kept pouting and slipping into each other. and I can't help but wonder Is this what kissing felt like?. For every slight wet kiss we had, she'd stopped then gave a sheepish smile in a childlike manner. Then we'd repeat the process.... somehow I was able to practicalize longings. After awhile. She asked us to stop. Said she doesn't want swollen lips. I never even knew kissing could cause that. But I was ready to pay attention. When it started nearing dusk. I prepared to leave and she helped me with my shoe lace. We left the house together and she walked as far as she could. Before parting, we made a promise to meet soon next time.

----

Next time came sooner than anticipated. I guess we both still needed to finish where we left off. This time I made her cook something before my arrival and she was more than willing to do so. I wouldn't say I was the male dominant type. But I was starving and she happened to be reachable. This time I wore something less conspicuous. A white hoodie on a black and white jean and a black and white sneaker. Then I fixed my headphone on. It was a lot easier getting to her place now, so I wasn't in need of a direction or being picked up. When I entered her room. It was filled with the smell of something burning. my rice. It would seem. She was so apologetic.

"I'm so sorry Nife. i was so carried away by my phone. I totally forgot I had something on the fire". I wasn't really sure why she should be sorry because she was the one doing me the favour. But I tried to adjust and pretended it got to me.

"it's fine. s**t happens"

"No it's not...what are you gonna do now?". She lingered close to me placing her hands on my chest.

"umm..." I gently removed her hands and walked to the kitchen. There I found the rice. But it wasn't really burnt. The burning might as well just started when she doused the fire.

"you think you can eat that?" she asked walking to me. Concern evidently edged all over her face.

"Sure! it's not as bad as you made it sound".

"hmmm. whatever you say then. She went on to serve me with stew and a big tasty meat". When I sat to eat, she lingered even closer.

"what do you think?" she asked looking curious

"hmm". I wiped my mouth gently "it's the best I've eaten in decades

"Liar! I was sure I added too much salt"

"well if you did add too much, I'm quite sure, It's the perfect amount to make this food mind boggling delicious". I taunted her self accusations and she hit me with a jab on the shoulder playfully.

"Some d**k you are". Then she went ahead and sat on my lap. She had this bum short and exposing shirt on that I barely concentrated on the treat. I got so turned on and I could feel my d**k nudging her smooth chubby laps. She must have noticed it too because she gave me a mischievous smile. To cover up my dilemma. I started feeding her too and she giggled at this resting her body on my chest. That didn't help the situation, instead it multiplied my lustfulness. After I had managed to lodge the rest of the rice in my stomach. She cleared the dishes to the kitchen and returned to sit on laps. At that point, I couldn't contain the bulge anymore and it was very much apparent. But Ire just sat on it.. pretending not to notice I was craving her badly. when I could take it no longer, I gently pulled her face towards mine and gave her a gentle kiss. She gave the childlike smile at this and stood up pulling me into bed after her. She sat first but my lip found hers earnestly, desiring it like never before. The impact of our passionate kisses sent her head dropping and sinking into the pillow. Her body, now flat on the bed heaved towards mine in need while her lap raised gently against mine, I felt her arousal. So I tried to give her something even better. I broke the kiss and gave her a lingering gaze, like I was waiting for her approval to continue. But my search ended before it even began. She tugged at my hoodie and looked at me with needy eyes. Good thing I didn't suck at pleasing. I dug straight into her neck biting her softly with my lips and she jerked at this tightening her laps around mine and pulling my hoodie roughly like she was trying to communicate to me. I raised my head and allowed her to pull off my cloth.

"You have a singlet on?" She chuckled noting my undershirt.

"Some habits I refused to drop " I gave her a sappy smile and she just groaned, nudging me to complete the task at hand. I tentatively removed her shirt just to discover she was bare underneath. Her n*****s had hardened, crazily aroused and she was biting her lips gently. I hovered before them for a while taking the splendid view all in, She looked distressed probably wondering why I delayed. Take a chill pill girl. You're all mine today. I lowered my head and gently kissed the hard exposed n****e and she grumbled softly, then I gave it a soft bite with my lips that made her almost jump out of her skin. That was all the assurance I needed. I sealed my lips around it, clenching my incisors to hold it still and suckled it tenaciously. The reaction wasn't expected neither was it disappointing. She went mad with desire, her voice rocking in crazy moans, her fingers found my hair and buried deeply into them, roughing their tidiness. her thigh tightened even more and she reeked of pleasure. I was overly motivated, so I gently fondled her other n****e, judiciously trailing it with my finger only to balance it in my palm and rubbed it incessantly.. She repaid me with her mutters and moaning, her consistent jerks for more and her pleading eyes for me not to stop. But I did. I wanted to give her something better, something different. So I buried my head into her cleavage and kissed it wetly before tracing my tongue down her abdomen. I stopped at her navel and kissed it looking her in the eye. She had them closed. Oh great! I buried my lips into it sucking and teasing it with my tongue. This made her raise her thigh. I suggested she wanted us to move to the next level. But somehow my heart started beating crazy. Because I had no idea what I should expect or if I even want to go along with it. So, I gently loosen her short button. She must have noticed where I was headed to because she instantly sat up halfway...resting on her arms. my face confronted hers and i had barely pushed my hand into her underwear when she stopped me pushing back a bit

"You can’t use your fingers," she said, locking eyes with me.

"Oh?"

"No, I mean your nails! They’re too long and shiny. I don’t want to risk internal bleeding, if you know what I mean." She eyed me curiously, as though trying to read my reaction.

"Right. I should’ve cut them before coming. My fault."

She rolled her eyes. "Wait, let me see if I can find my nail cutter." She slipped off the bed and rummaged through the desk by the bedside. I made a silent prayer she wouldn’t find it—and somehow, she didn’t.

"Looks like my roommate borrowed it or something," she said with a weak smile before climbing back into bed.

"That’s alright. There’s always another time."

"Mhm." She nodded, then gently pushed me down and rested her head on my chest.

"Your heart’s beating," she exclaimed, lifting her head to meet my eyes.

"Of course. What did you expect?" I gave a short laugh.

"No, I mean I can hear it. Literally. It’s beating." She broke into that silly smile of hers again.

Later, we went out together to buy bread—she said she was famished. On the way, she kept tugging at my shirt, goofing around, and linking arms with me. It was so cute. Back at the room, she slipped on my headphones and started dancing, rocking herself to the music. I just watched and laughed. She was really something.

By evening, I dressed up to leave. She held onto my sleeve, lounging against me with a pout.

"I wish you didn’t have to go."

"Unless you’ve got another place to tuck me in without offending your roommate," I teased, stroking her hair.

"You’ll see me again, right?"

"Yeah. My heart is strung to this room."

She laughed, then walked me down to the street, where I caught a bus back to the hostel.

---

That night at the hostel, I realized I had left my headphones at her place. I texted her to check, and she confirmed I had. But then she added—almost guiltily—that she had accidentally sat on them, snapping them in the process. She apologized gravely, insisting it was a mistake.

It was just a pair of headphones, yet the thought of how to get another one began to haunt me. I downplayed it, told her it was fine, that I’d simply get a new pair. She asked if I had forgiven her, and I made it clear I wasn’t angry at all. But something had already shifted.

After that, I became the guy with excuses—the one too busy to meet, too distracted to reply. Messages that once lit up my screen now lingered unanswered. Our conversations slowly bled into silence.

Then one day, while I was at the park waiting to head home, her message arrived: she thought we needed a break, given the way things had been. My reply was swift, almost rehearsed. I told her I’d been thinking the same, but hadn’t known how to put it into words. Maybe the break would help us figure out what we wanted. Except I already knew—I didn’t want her.

I could list a thousand reasons why we never worked. But deep down, in the quiet, shadowed corner of my conscience, I knew the truth: the headphones were never the issue. They were only a symbol. What really gnawed at me was the guilt of using her to taste an experience I was saving for someone else—the one I truly loved.

Years after we severed ties, she told me during a late voice call, “I never broke your headphones. I just missed you so much, and I thought saying that would lure you back.” But she was wrong. We were dynamite waiting to explode.

The last time we met, I invited her to my home. I wasn’t sure why—maybe to mend what was broken, maybe to see if something could still grow. But when she arrived, I saw it plainly: she was just as broken as I was. And maybe, just maybe, too far gone to be saved.

But then again, aren’t we all?