Burnt Flower

Cold Shawl 1

During my early life, I had always considered lovers as an enigma of impenetrable commitment. One that's designed by the will of the heart. Once it grasp it victim in it shackles of passionate inflictions, that would mean the very end of such person's freedom of a duplicate or alternative proclivity. I was inclined with this idea. That I was under the illusion that immediately I left Sydney's Chrome. I'll just have to look out into the crowd and pick a girl of my taste and choice. Life however had yet another surprise for me. Leaving the center opened my eyes to certain resolve. That is, I'll never live to satisfy the whims and caprices of anyone. Not even my father's then I'll live this world, the way I desire and how I felt I should live it. I was going to break rules, build a world of my own, surround myself with the kind of people I wanted to be with and date the exact girl that I painted in my head. After coming home, Dad and mom made arrangements for me to go into some training. I was first obliging. Since I don't want to appear too rude or rebellious. But I couldn't hold on for too long. I dropped the training and broke their heart then I informed my mom I wanted to commence the jamb tutorial lesson. I also told Dad but he was bereaved over the fact I rejected the training. So in the feat of his upset. He refused to pay for the tutoring fee and mom had to shoulder that responsibility. The main reason I chose to go into such system, was mainly to have my freedom away from home and it's agents. I wanted to be in a new environment, one that is free from their scornful eyes and disgust. The tutorial serves as a means of that escape. I registered into Paradigm's academy. This I did because it's director seemed nice and exhibited this Gen-z traits. It offered me a reason to see life through a different window. When I resumed. It was just me and some two other silly things. I became best friends with one almost immediately. His name was Tayo and just like the director. He was really playful and flirty among ladies. I on the other hand had only one purpose and that was to secure my admission that year and stay away from home as much as I could. My first Jamb result was off the chart from the other students' scores. I had 248 for a first starter, on my first day. This got the director's attention and he kept his focus on me. Later on, we were joined by other students and the class was soon filled up. The director (taught English actually) who we refer to as Barrister Jay was one of a kind. He was always filling us in about his past escapades with ladies and how they battered him with money and care. He was quick however to remind us that we shouldn't follow his path because he felt it had a nemesis on him. The more I listened to him, the more I conjured my own fantasies of the future. I was going to have as much girlfriends as possible with the help of my brains but I won't be f*****g around. Just using them for financial assistance. My disillusion could never be sustained. At Paradigms, I was the epitome of knowledge and zeal and the director spared no effort in eulogizing my essence to the class. In no time, I had become rather popular. Everyone wanted to be my friend. There was a time I sat in the class of sciences while a session was going. The Chemistry teacher dismissed me because I was causing a distraction amongst the girls. Immediately I stood up and the result was an outcry and clamour for me to stay. The Chemistry teacher had to tell me to sit back and then said "This agents will be the end of you". There were times I'll be offered free snacks just so some girls can be close to me, at times some even fight to gain my attention. But I was focused....a lot focused. I just wanted to anchor my Jamb to a port and wave at it from afar. Time crept on and just like any Teenager, I started having and making unknown advances. It started with a girl named Aminah. She was plump, light skinned and rather smart. I beat her in an English exercise and she started tailing me from then. We started off from just texting. I would ask her what we're eating tonight and she'll tell me...Then we'll talk about a million other things that happened in class. One point she told me to sing for her. I found it auspicious. So I did. I sang baby by Justin Bieber and she loved it. She saved it on her phone and told me how she listens to it a lot. Then we moved on to texting in class, making eye contacts. It was all an excuse to gain attention and flirt with the opposite s*x but inwardly, I always knew she had feelings for me. Once she tried to bring up the subject. I ruined it with a joke and prayed she never brought it up again which of course she didn't. Perhaps she got the idea too. We kept playing the hide and seek game till things fell through between us. I never asked her out neither did I make an attempt at having a romantic life with her. I just kept teasing and reeling her till she had given off herself to the annihilation of my satisfaction. She was in love with me. That was all I needed..The idea that I could be loved. When I left the center. We met at a new one. This one was a little advanced and far away from home. This time we barely had conversation and rapport. She had new friends and I had mine but that was not the main reason. Our differences in the past was enough to create a volcano in our midst. Once we were having a conversation with another friend of mine. She told her. "Don't ever trust Nifemi...He's gonna drill a hole in your heart". My friend laughed it off as a joke...but I saw the slight pain in her eyes. Later on I noted she was dating a former secondary school mate of mine. I could only smile and wish her well. We both got admission into the same university but we never saw eye to eye and our texts takes place once every twilight. The last I heard of her from another friend. She informed me Aminah was pregnant. I didn't want to believe it first so I ignored it as some jealous gossip but then few months after that bomb. I saw one of her status where she was with a baby and it appeared rather convincing. I wanted to bring up the matter to her myself but I also don't wanna poke nose..but she kept posting the same little girl that my intuition and instincts finally had to give in to the conclusion. She really had a kid. It was astonishing but then I had come to resort to how the world works and it way of making the impossible possible.