The Alpha's Eternal Ache

CHAPTER FIVE

EDWARD

'Oh, yeah, I shouldn't have done that. Shouldn't have done that. I know, and now I'm regretting it with every fiber of my being.’ The thought hammered at me, a constant, sharp rhythm. Because of this guilt, I couldn't come up with a normal and reasonable counterpoint to what Ed was telling me right now.

​Chloe is my mate?

​“Edward, take your seat, please,” the teacher, who I hadn't even noticed, said, her voice a sharp command that cut through my thoughts. I composed myself and walked towards my seat as the teacher began the roll call, my thoughts still racing.

​A thought I never should have had. How the hell is a human, my mate? Apart from the mundane scent that almost everyone here has, except for the redhead with the freckled face, there has to be a mistake somewhere. A mix-up or something. How could an Alpha be fated to a human mate? She doesn't even seem like a person who would believe in werewolves!

​‘You just have a problem admitting what you really feel. You felt the connection the moment you saw her, but you kept denying it.’ Ed's voice rang in my mind, and a low growl of annoyance vibrated in my chest.

​‘I'm not denying anything, Ed! There was no connection to begin with. She's just a human and my stepsister, for goodness' sake. Even if she did happen to be my mate, how do you expect me to tell her that I'm a werewolf? An Alpha, to be precise?’

​‘You don't need to explain it to her. She will know,’ Ed said, and I knew he had nothing more to say. If I asked, he wouldn't answer, nor would he explain what he meant by 'she will know'.

​“Ed,” this time, it wasn't me calling him, but Chloe calling me. I looked at her, and my gaze locked onto hers. I couldn't seem to take my eyes off her. She isn't a hot redhead with a freckled face, yet she is just as beautiful, if not more so.

​“Ed,” she called again, and I jerked subconsciously, a slight tremor running through me. “Answer to your name,” she said, and I looked to the front. The teacher and half the class were looking at me. A blush crept up my neck, and I answered the roll call with a simple “yes.” The rest of the class session continued with me paying little to no attention to what each teacher taught. The little I did pay attention to was when the redheaded girl was introduced. But I can't seem to remember her name. Sasha? Sharon? Sloan? But it is nothing more than a two syllable word.

​Then it was lunchtime, and the redhead came over to me. Damn! She was even hotter than I had thought. She has to be my mate because she's also a werewolf. It's not that I couldn't have Chloe as my mate, but she's a damn human. What would our children be? Werewolf? Human? Half-werewolf? Half-human?

​Children? Why the hell was I thinking about children with Chloe? The thought brought a sharp, confusing pang to my chest.

​“Are you okay? You seem to have a lot on your mind,” the girl said as she took a seat in front of me. She pulled the chair closer and sat facing the opposite direction, her legs spread wide to make room for them to fit. The sight of her legs and the confident way she sat sent a flare of possessiveness through me—a reaction I hadn't expected. She was wearing leggings with a black top, a black leather jacket, and a red skirt. The red skirt matched the colour of her hair and her lips.

​“Oh, yeah. I have a lot of things to think about,” I said back to her, my hands in my pockets. My position slightly changed from sitting upright to resting my entire back against the chair, my legs stretched out to where her chair was in front of me.

​“I hope you're not considering rejecting me as your mate? Or are you?” she asked, a smirk playing on her lips, neither teasing me nor being serious.

​“We are not mates,” I said bluntly. Now that I was having a conversation with her, my interest in her started to diminish, like a flame being snuffed out.

​“I know. I was just joking around. I'm already mated to someone. But seeing your reaction, am I really that bad-looking? Or do you have someone you like? Or are you mated already? What pack are you from? It's not normal to see our kind here,” she asked all at once, and a wave of weariness washed over me. I was starting to get tired of this petty conversation.

​“You really don't hide your facial expressions. Okay, I get it. I'll go. But can I just know what pack you're from?” she asked again, but she received no reply. She was about to say something else when I noticed Evans walking towards Chloe—or so I thought. I didn't give the redhead a chance to say whatever she had to say before I stood up in a swift motion.

​“I'm Sarah, by the way,” her voice pitched slightly as she saw me leave my seat and walk towards Chloe, who I discovered had had her eyes on me throughout my conversation with Sarah, the redhead. Maybe not so much of a conversation. But I could see the twitch in her eye, the fake swallow, and the fidgeting of her fingers. A triumphant feeling swelled in my chest.

​Evans, who I thought was walking toward Chloe, was not, or maybe he diverted his mission as soon as he saw me. I don't know, and I don't care. But I do know that Chloe is feeling something. Now that I noticed, her friend wasn't with her. The friend she had called the first day I saw her when she was obsessing over my eyes. The friend she told, but not explicitly, about her developing feelings for me. The friend who told her not to give a damn—in my words.

​As soon as I got to her seat, she stood up and walked out of the classroom, and I followed her immediately. Why did I do that? Why did I follow her? As if that wasn't enough, why did I feel the need to explain?

​“Chloe!” I called her once, my voice deep and dark enough to make her and some other students stop and look at me. It was a little bit of my Alpha voice. It's just a small, minute aspect of it. She stopped, and I walked towards her, grabbed her hand, and pulled her gently aside. I left the crowd.

​When I got to an empty space, specifically beneath the stairs, I stopped and looked at her. Oh, damn! She's so breathtaking! I can see straight through her blue eyes. Why would someone have such beautiful eyes and still covet mine?

​“Why did you pull me here?” she said, her voice low and sad. A frown creased my forehead. Why sad?

​“Hmm,” I started, clearing my throat, which seemed to be a big hindrance to what I had to say. “I thought Evans was here to bully you again,” I said, and I knew at that instant that my reason was lame.

​“I'm not being bullied, and even if I were, I don't need you as my guardian angel. When did we start having conversations like this?” she said, her voice sharp with a hint of pain.

​“Where is Daisy?” I asked her, stopping her from saying whatever she had to say next because I didn't have an answer, and I didn't think I could give a reasonable explanation for why and when.

​“How did you know her name?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.

​“We're in the same class, remember?” I answered her, knowing full well that's not how I knew her friend's name. But it answered the question well enough.

​“She's no longer coming to this school. Her family moved to Scotland a week ago. I'm surprised you're just noticing her now. Don't you have somewhere to be?”

​“Are you jealous?” I blurted out, and right then, I knew I had said the wrong thing. The corner of her lip twitched slightly upward, and then, almost immediately, she showed her white teeth in a humourless smile.

​“Jealous? And why would I be jealous? Instead of asking me if I'm jealous or not about you talking to a lady who just joined the class today, shouldn't you ask yourself why you touched me?” she barked. Luckily, no one was passing by when she said those words.

​Now, we were back to what happened yesterday. Why did I touch her? I don't know. But one thing I was certain of was that I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to claim those lips as they moved with each and every word and syllable she made. I didn't know how to explain this; I just wanted to kiss her. Not just a lips-touching-lips for one second, but a hot, breathtaking one. I had been holding my breath, but I just couldn't escape this, could I? I found it hard to let my brain decide what I needed to do. Instead, my heart took control. I couldn't help it, so I did it. I grabbed her face, leaned in, and slam my lips against hers

******

​If I had to choose between the hot redhead and my stepsister, I’d choose the redhead without a moment's hesitation. It’s a simple reason—one I really should have thought about before I kissed Chloe. I just couldn’t help myself. I can’t say no to my stepsister, and I can’t choose the redhead because she’s already fated to someone else.

​But now, I’ve kissed Chloe. I did it even as she was still talking about what happened between us yesterday. Is it complicated? No. Do I feel guilty? No. Was it dumb? Yes.

​“Why did you do that?” Chloe asked the second I broke the kiss. She hadn’t stopped me or tried to pull away, but the question hung between us like a fragile bubble of confusion. I could practically see her emotions shifting into a cloudy, swirling mist where everything had been crystal clear just a moment ago.

​I looked at her intently, my lips still slightly parted as I watched her blue eyes. I placed the tip of my index finger on her chin, gently tilting her head up so she had to look at me. She didn’t resist. She didn't jerk my hand away; she just let me do whatever I wanted, from the kissing to the way I grazed her skin.

​“I don't understand why you love my eyes so much when you have such beautiful eyes. Even prettier than mine,” I murmured. Before she could find her voice, I bent down and kissed each of her eyelids as she reflexively closed them.

​“Okay. Stop. Just stop,” Chloe finally snapped. Her voice was high-pitched and strained as she pulled away, her hands coming up to her chest as if to shield herself.

​“What are you doing? Why are you doing this to me? Is this a way to torment me because I told you I liked your eyes the other day? It's been weeks. You know that, right?” She was breathing in jagged gasps now, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “Why are you doing all of this? First, you touched me without my consent, and now you've kissed me without my consent! Not to mention the encounter with Evans!”

​If we were going to define what this was, I figured she might as well start now.

​“Was that your first kiss?” I asked. The question clearly caught her off guard. She scoffed, looking more angry than before.

​“Seriously? You're asking me that?”

​“I'll take that as a yes, seeing the way your cheeks flushed as soon as I asked,” I said nonchalantly. I shoved my hands into my pockets and bowed my head, staring at the floor. “I'm glad you enjoyed it; it was pretty good for a first one.”

​“I did not enjoy anything!”

​“Your accelerated heartbeat says otherwise,” I muttered.

​The second the words left my mouth, I knew I’d spilled a massive secret. Chloe froze. The anger vanished, replaced by a look of deep, suspicious thought.

​“What do you mean by that? How can you hear my heartbeat when you're at least two feet away from me?” she whispered.

​Panic flared for a second. I couldn't give away my true identity, so I scrambled for a more "human" explanation.

​“The rising and falling of your chest,” I lied quickly. “Look, yesterday was entirely my fault. I should have knocked, and even if I did see you, I should have left immediately instead of letting my manly attitude take control. For that, I'm sorry. I promise I’ll knock before I enter your room next time. But as for this kiss? I'm not in the slightest bit sorry. I wanted to kiss you, and I did. And for the record, I enjoyed it.”

​I kept my gaze unwavering. Chloe looked bewildered, her mind clearly reeling. I’d just admitted to taking her first kiss without permission and told her to her face that I had zero regrets. She looked at me dumbly, her lips quivering as she tried to find words that wouldn't come.

​“As for Evans, I won't let him or anyone else hurt you,” I continued, my voice dropping into a possessive growl. “And don't ask me why, because I won't give you an explanation. And as for these lips of yours, they are mine now. They are for me. For me and for me only.”

​To my surprise, Chloe burst out laughing. It was a sharp, disbelieving sound that cut me off mid-sentence.

​“Sorry. No, in fact, I'm not sorry,” she retorted, her voice rising again. “What do you mean my lips are for you? The fact that you took my first kiss doesn't mean you own them. I can do whatever I want with whomever I want. You don't get a say about any part of my body when we are just step-siblings!”

​I felt my expression harden. I was completely taken aback.

​“Just forget all this happened, and let's start this situationship all over again,” she said, her tone caught somewhere between a joke and a threat. She stretched out her hand. “Hi, I'm Chloe. I'm the daughter of your mother's new husband. She told me your name is Edward. Nice to meet you," she said, laying emphasis on the family tree title.

​I stared down at her hand, refusing to take it. My shoulders felt rigid with shock.

​This would have been so much easier if I’d just told her who she is to me and who I really am, I thought, frustration washing over me. She is my mate! Telling her she’s mine is a waste of time because if she knew what she was, I wouldn’t have to explain a thing.

​“Okay, then. No handshake. That's it,” she said, her smile tight and defiant. “Have a wonderful day, stepbrother. And mind you, lest you forget, I've erased whatever may have happened in the car park and the hallway.”

​“If you had truly forgotten about it, you wouldn't be mentioning it again,” I replied, my voice low and guttural.

​Chloe’s face fell. She folded her arms, defeated by the truth of it. She stamped her foot hard and stormed away.

​I decided then to play along with her little game for now. The kiss had cleared up a lot for me. I’m not ready to declare her as my mate to the world yet, but I’m certainly not ready to reject her either. One thing was certain: I wouldn't let another man touch her. I wasn’t asking for much—just no physical contact with any other guy. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else kissing her or even holding her hand.

​I should be the only one. Because she was made for me. For me and me alone. If she really is my mate, then she belongs to me, even if I’m not ready to fully accept that fact yet.

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