Watching you

Episode one

I looked down on the papers I was holding in my hands and read the title again.

“Liberty Valley dormitory,” it said. Last week was the first time my mother had mentioned all of this to me. About the possibility of her moving and here she was, only a week later, with the papers signed and ready to be sent off. It was a registration form for enrollment to a dormitory and a high school in this town called Liberty Valley.

“But mom, are you sure about this? I mean, I am only 17. Living alone in a new place and a new school and ‘Liberty Valley’, where is that anyway?” I just had so many questions that she wasn’t answering. My mother's smile grew as she moved across the room. She was always so bad at hiding her feelings and I could always see how she was feeling. Right now she was happy, excited even.

“Oh honey, you are gonna be fine, there’s no need to worry and Liberty Valley is a cute little place.

Besides between the two of us, you are the most responsible one. You are almost more of an adult than I am.” She said she was only saying this, so she wouldn’t feel guilty. She knew this was wrong. She had to know. “You’ll be just fine and your grandparents live 30 minutes away, if you need them”.

I looked from my mother and down at the papers again. A thousand thoughts were going through my head.

How could my mother just leave me? Send me off to live at a dormitory alone, in a new place. What about my friends here, the life that I've always known?

I could feel tears pushing behind my eyes. But if I was being honest, I wasn’t surprised. Sad and angry but not surprised. My mother had always done whatever she wanted, without thinking of her responsibility as an adult or as my mother. It was not because she didn’t care, she just wasn’t cut out for this life. The responsibility that comes with being a parent and being locked in one place, without the help of a husband or her own parents. Even keeping a job was problematic for her.

One time when I was young her mother had spent most of her salary on new expensive furniture for the house, which had resulted in us having to eat oatmeal for almost an entire month.

Now she was sending me, her only daughter off, to live alone. All because she had found a man who was from Canada, fallen in love and leaving to go live with him.

I was furious and scared at the same time. How could she do this?

My mother looked at me with a smile that made my heart ache. It had been awhile since I had seen that smile. She was happy and she was going on this adventure no matter what I had to say. I wasn’t changing her mind, no one was. So I pulled myself up and just smiled back.

The airport was almost empty. Sadly I only had one big luggage and a travel bag for all my stuff. I checked in my bag and got my boarding card. The lady behind the desk smiled at me and said have a nice day. She looked kind of worried or maybe sympathetic. I wondered why. Could she see that I was nervous of flying or maybe she could see in my eyes that I had been crying on the drive to the airport. It wasn't that I was scared of flying, just that I hadn’t been doing it a whole lot and it looked like it was gonna rain. Not really the perfect weather for flying.

I got past security and walked straight for the gate. I sat down, put on my headphones and opened a book that I had brought for the flight. The gate area was almost as empty as the rest of the airport. There were only three other people going in this flight. A man wearing a cap and sunglasses and a middle-aged couple looking on their phones instead of talking to each other. After looking a little closer at the man I noticed that he actually was very young, maybe around my age. It almost looked like he was sleeping until he tilted his downward, looking straight at me. The sunglasses were very dark and I couldn’t see his eyes but I was still certain that he was looking at me. From what I could see he was fit build and in my opinion good looking. I had that feeling you get when you feel like you are being watched. Then he smiled, probably from me staring back at him. I felt instant embarrassment and looked down at my book. I decided to read until it was time to board the plane. Just to avoid being caught staring back at him. When I looked back up he was gone.

I fell asleep moments after takeoff. Even though I was nervous about flying, the tiredness overtook me. I felt like I had been tired for several days now but to be honest I hadn’t been able to sleep much since knowing that my entire life was about change.

At some point during the flight I felt like someone was sitting in the seat next to me. Or maybe it was a dream.

When I arrived at the dormitory, a lady came out of the building just as I opened the door of the cap from the airport. “Hello sweetie, my name is Alice but everyone calls me Dorm mother. My husband and I own Liberty Valley Dormitory and we are so happy to have you live with us.” She greeted me with a big smile and let me inside.

The office that I was let into was nicely decorated with a simple style in color and furniture. Alice was a sweet lady, with nice looking eyes, short dark hair and a big smile. Guess it Would be a requirement if you would have to be a nice lady if the teenagers around you called you Dorm mother. Alice looked like she was around 40 years old and it was clear that she loved the place with all her heart. I wonder how the Dorm father would be then?

Alice continued “Here is how things work around here. You get your room with your own key which this office has a copy of. During daytime you attend school, help with tasks around the place and don't cause any trouble.” She said with a smile. “The weekend is your own time but there is a curfew. On weekends you need to be home at 11 pm and 9 pm weekdays. And remember rules are rules, you know cause it's a school night.”

“If you bring friends over you have to register it in this office or with me or my husband and if you want to stay over at friends that too has to be registered, so that we know where you are. I can see in the information your mother sent us, that your grandparents live nearby, that's nice” Alice said with a hesitant smile. It was clear she was thinking why my mother had sent me to live in a dormity when the grandparents were living this close by.

“You have to fill out this contact information” Alice handed me some papers and started walking towards the door. “Do you have any questions before the tour?”.

I shook my head and even if I had one, I didn’t feel like saying anything right now.

We left the office and Alice started by showing me around the first floor. There was a dining room, a tv room and the main hall, with doors to the office right beside the front door and toilets. On the second floor were all the bedrooms and bathrooms.

“Now on your right we have the girls rooms, and boys rooms are on the left” Alice turned around, looking straight at me. “Rules on this floor is, if you have boys in the room then the door has to be open and no guest in the room after 10 pm and 11 pm on weekends”. I nodded.

“And this is your room,” Alice said, unlocking and opening the door, then handing me the room key. The room was medium size with a bed by the window, a small desk and a dresser. The walls were all white with gray curtains for the very large windows.

I could live here and be happy, I think. Most of my stuff would fit in there just fine. I walked into the room. But then again, would I be happy living here? Suddenly a rush of loneliness came over me, even with all these people living in the dorm.

“Thank you,” I said and smiled towards Alice.

“You are welcome sweetie. Come with me, there’s someone you should meet”. We started walking through the hallway, past the stairs and over to the boys side. “He is one of the 3 dorm leaders we have here,” Alice said. I felt the urge to ask what a dorm leader was but didn't. I felt so tired and just wanted the tour to be over, so she could sleep and get the rest of this day over with.

Alice opened one of the doors in the boys hallway and on the floor were two guys and a third was lying on a bed. It looked like they were having a very serious conversation before they entered. A blond guy rose and walked toward us.

“Hello Dorm mother,” he said with a big smile. Alice spoke “Hi guys, sorry to disturb you but I need a word with you Markus. You remember I told you about the new girl moving in.”

I looked up at Markus and smiled. “Hi”. Markus was a great looking guy with big blue eyes and a sexy smile. He was really cute with his short blond hair and a large white sweater.

Markus smiled. “Sure, I remember. Are you guys done with the tour?” Markus asked.

“We are just done,” Alice answered.”I’m gonna leave you with Markus honey, you can just bring me those when you are done”. Alice said, pointing at the forms in my hand.

Markus smiled and looked back into his room. “Guys I’m gonna go, don't mess up the room while I’m gone”. The one guy in his room looked up and smiled “Welcome to the dorms”. The other guy didn't even bother looking up from his phone.

“Do you drink coffee?” He asked. I nodded. “Bet you are tired after your trip”. Did I really look that run down? There was nothing mean in his voice or in his expression. Just looked happy.

I followed him downstairs to the dining room. I sat down at a table, while Markus disappeared inside the kitchen and came out with two very large cups and a bottle of water.

“So why did you move to Liberty valley?” Markus asked as he sat down. “My mother is moving in with her boyfriend, who lives in Canada,” I said, trying to sound like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Wow, that sounds rough,” he said. I smiled at his complete honeste that I could tell had surprised himself. He looked apologetic and about to say something, I quickly said. “It's fine, she really loves him and she’s happy. When my father left us, my mother never really recovered and now she smiles every day and laughs more”. Emily paused. “Besides, she's kind of adventurous and maybe a little irresponsable so I often took care of myself. This isn't going to be that much of a difference”.

A feeling of guilt washed over me, but it was true and I needed to say this to make myself feel at ease.

Markus continued to ask more questions about my home and life back home and my old school. Mostly trying to make conversation yet he actually sounded interested.

After a while I got tired of answering questions about myself and asked “what does a Dorm Leader do?”.

“Well,” he said with a grin. “It’s kind of like a dorm babysitter. When you have lived here for a long time, the dorm mother asks if you want to be a Dorm Leader. It entails that you help with making sure that all the rules are kept, making sure that everyone is happy and you are in charge when the “adults” aren't home”. He continued “There are three of us at the moment. Me, a guy named Derek and Lisa. So if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always come to us”.

When we were done with the coffee, Markus followed me back to the office to get my bag. “Is this all the stuff you brought, no furniture?” Markus asked. “Yes, It was all that I could carry,” I answered.

“So nobody dropped you off, not your mother?" he asked.

“No, my mom was busy packing up all of her stuff, so I told her I would be fine by myself.”

Markus couldn't hide the pity in his eyes. He disappeared in thought for a sekund and then said “You know what, I have a coffee table in my room I was planning to get rid of and I know there’s an old desk chair in a storage room. Let me text my friend, if he can bring the chair up to your room. He borrowed the storage key earlier”. Markus said while already on his phone. “Now let's go and get the table if you want it,” he said.

I nodded and smiled. Markus seemed really friendly and I already felt a little more comfortable staying in here, knowing that Markus was here.

Markus carried the table back to the room. “Fits perfectly,” he said, placing it in the middle of the room. Markus then said, sounding a little nervous. “if there’s anything you don't hesitate to come to me or you know, you just wanna talk”.

“Thank you for everything Markus,” I said and smiled.

Markus stepped forward and gave me a big bear hug. I was really surprised but I didn't mind. It was kinda nice.

After he left I could still feel the warmth of his hands on my back and from his chest on mine. I felt happy and tired at the same time. Being alone again made me really feel how tired I was. The bag would have to wait until the morning to be unpacked.

I threw the forms from Alice on the new table and sat down on the floor and rested my head on the table. It was cold on my cheek.

I slowly began falling asleep. Just 10 minutes and then I would unpack and make the bed. Then I remembered something about a desk chair.