Lightless Sunshine

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

It's already been a year...

Time flies so fast. Ika nga nila, kapag masaya ka, hindi mo mamamalayan ang pagtakbo ng panahon. You wouldn't feel the time as it passes by when you become happy. Kaydali lang ng oras kung lumipas. I could still remember the last time I feel so happy this way. It was when my mother was still alive. The pain and guilt was still there, yes, but it was clouded by happiness now. I chose to ignore the negative feeling this time.

I realized so many things as I grow up. Kaya hindi ko naramdaman ang totoong saya dati sapagkat pinipigilan ko ang sarili. Pinipigilan ko ang sariling maging masaya dahil pakiramdam ko, hindi iyon narararapat sa akin. I was a born mistake, I grew up as a mistake but I promise to myself I won't die as a mistake still.

They said I was born wrong. Mali na isinilang ako sa mundong ito. Bunga ako ng pagkakamali at mali ang mabuhay ako. But I'll prove them wrong. Ipinapangako at papatunayan ko sa sarili kong mali sila, mali sila na husgahan at diktahan ang pagkatao ko. Mali sila na inaakalang mali na isinilang ako.

Realization also hit me...maybe I was too harsh on myself before? Maybe if I wasn't just so persistent before I wouldn't get to experience these things? But, it's all in the past now at hindi na iyon mababago.

I looked at myself in front of the mirror and scanned my whole body. I was wearing fitted white blouse, plain and stainless. It emphasized the size of my breast. Underneath of it was my black two piece. I wore a tight pencil skirt that reaches above my knees with a slit on it.

I slightly turn around to see my butt. I giggled and spank it a bit when I noticed how grateful I am to have this kind of body.

"Ganda mo, 'te..." bulong ko sa sarili.

Tiningnan ko naman ang mukha ko. My face hasn't have any make up on aside from the powder I applied. I tied my hair into a high ponytail, making my face looks so intimidating and strict. A kind of face you wouldn't dare to encounter.

Today is another day of a boring one. I'll attend the class and do the same stuff everyday I does on school. Puwera nalang mamayang hapon na deritso ako punta sa pool party na magaganap sa bahay ng kaibigan ko. My class starts at 8:30 AM and alas onse na ngayon ngunit nandito pa rin ako sa bahay.

I woke up late from having a bunch of homeworks. Alas kuwatro na ako nakatulog at nang magising ako, alas nuebe y media na. I wasn't that worried about my late tho dahil aside from attending the experimentation sa laboratory- which is not significant at all- absent rin ang isa naming professor sa pre-calculus.

"Ay, shit." Napasinghap ako nang may naalala. Mabilis kong kinuha ang I.D na nasa bedside table at isinuot iyon.

Sunshine Kaye Madrigal

Nakangiting pinagmasdan ko ang sarili sa salamin. I look so pretty with this outfit. Simple yet elegant. I made sure to spray my favourite strawberry perfume and apply a lipstick on my lips before going out from my room.

Agad akong pumunta sa kusina para mag brunch. I made a fresh milk for myself after it.

"Hija, wala ngayon si Henry..." boses iyon ni Manang Marites na ngayon ay abala sa pag-aasikaso sa aking pinagkaininan. Ang tinutukoy niya naman ay 'yong family driver namin na siyang maghahatid sa akin sa school.

"Ho?"

"Naku, nagkataon na may pinapagawa ang daddy niyo sa kaniya kaya wala siya ngayon, hindi ka maihahatid sa skwela. Teka nga, ang tagal mo atang magising ngayon? Nahirapan ka ba uli sa pagtulog kagabi?"

Napainom ako sa tubig. "Uh, napuyat ako sa pagre-review, Manang. By the way po, sino raw po ang maghahatid sa akin ngayon?" takhang tanong ko. "Wala pa naman ng pumapasok na taxi rito sa subdivision natin, malayo pa ang distance ng gate."

Napaisip naman si Manang. Kumunot nang bahagya ang kulubot na nitong noo dahil sa katandaan. "Nandito ngayon si Yohan, sasabihan ko nalang na ihatid ka no'n."

Tinapos ko na ang huli pagkain bago ako tumayo at pumunta sa sink para hugasan iyon. Matapos no'n ay agad akong nagsipilyo.

"Okay lang po ba kay Yohan, Manang? Wala ba siyang class today?"

"Mamayang alas sais pa ang klase no'n, wag kang mag-alala," aniya.

"Manang, hindi pala ako makakauwi mamaya..." saad ko. "Mag-o-overnight kami ro'n sa bahay ng kaibigan ko, 'wag niyo na po akong hintayin umuwi."

"Nakapagpaalam ka na ba sa daddy mo?" she asked.

Umiling ako at tipid na ngumiti. "Wala naman po iyong pake sa akin,"

Natawa ako nang bahagya.

Manang looked at me worriedly. She has this motherly concern look. She lifted her hands to touch my cheek. "Sige, mag-ingat ka roon, hmm?"

"Yes po,"

Lumabas na rin ako ng bahay para hanapin si Yohan. Napakagat ako ng ibabang labi nang tumambad sa akin ang maganda niyang katawan. Nandito siya ngayon sa may garden at nagdidilig ng mga halaman. Naabutan ko siyang naka-topless at tanging pantalon lang nito ang suot.

"Kakatitig mo sa akin, baka mabuntis ako niyan," he suddenly uttered.

Napatikhim ako at napaayos ng tayo. Ramdam ko ang pag-iinit ng pisngi.

He turn his head over his broad shoulder and smirked. The sweat on his body was making his tan skin looks so hot. But, he's not my type. He's way too old for me.

I scoffed. "Anak ni Marites, mayabang. "

He chuckled and turned off the hose. Hinagilap niya ang kaniyang puting t-shirt na nakasabit sa isang puno bago iyon sinuot sa harapan ko.

"Why?" he asked and arched me a brow, smirking still. His jet black eyes were glistening in a playful way.

Ngumuso ako. "Wala si Mang Henry, sabi ni mama mo hatid mo raw ako sa school."

His brows shot up. "You sure? I'll be using my motorbike, you see."

"As if I have a choice, Yohan. Magbihis ka na nga, ma-lalate na ako,"

"Demanding yarn?" irap niya sa akin. "I'll just change my shirt. Give me a sec,"

"Faster!" I stomped my feet lika a brat. He just laughed at me as he jog away. Nang makabalik na siya ay nakasuot na siya ng bagong t-shirt.

Nakasimangot akong sumakay sa likuran ng motor niya. When I was still in a relationship with Eleazar, madalas akong sumakay sa motor nito kaya hindi na rin bago sa akin ang umangkas ngayon. Dahil naka-skirt ako ay nakapambabaeng upo ako. I clutched on his shirt to support my body.

"Kung may plano kang hubaran ako, tell me so I can remove it for you." aniya sa sarkastikadong boses.

Napaingos naman ako. "Ang hangin mo!"

He laughed carelessly. Pinaandar na niya ang motor at pinatakbo iyon. In no time, I was already standing in front of our school.

"Ingat ka, Araw." sabi ni Yohan.

Tumango ako at nakangiting binalingan siya. "Thanks! Good luck sa class mo mamaya, attorney." I cheered.

"Yeah, thanks—"he stopped all of a sudden. Nakatingin siya sa likuran ko habang natitigilan. My brows creased as I followed he's been looking at.

I saw a familiar woman going out from the passenger's seat of a car. May matamis itong ngiti sa labi. She was wearing a plain longsleeve dress that reaches her thigh.

"Grettle?" bulong ko. Sinundan ng aking mga mata ang driver's seat nang bumukas iyon at lumabas ang pamilyar na pamilyar na mukha.

I quickly noticed his hazel brown eyes even from afar.

"I'll go ahead." parinig kong boses iyon ni Yohan. I turned around to face him but before I could even bid a goodbye, he already drive away.

I shrugged.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa kotseng nakita. Nakapasok na si Grettle at tanging ang naghatid nalang ito ang nanatiling nakatayo at sinusundan ng tingin ang babae.

"Hi, Tito Vin!" I cheerfully greeted.

He jumped out of shock. He glanced at my way and closed his eyes tight. "You almost gave me heart attack, Sunny."

Natawa ako at magmano sa kaniya. "Ano pong ginagawa niyo rito?"

He smiled. "Nothing,"

I nodded my head and smiled at him sweetly. "Ah, gano'n po ba? Pasok na po ako, Tito." paalam ko sa kaniya.

Bago ako tuluyang makapasok ay tinawag niya ulit ako. Nagtatakang bumalik naman kaagad ako at tinanong siya.

"Bakit po?"

"Can you do me a favor, hija?"

Nagtaka ako. "Uh... sure? Ano po 'yon?"

"Can you tell Icarus to drink his medicine today? He's really stubborn." aniya at napailing iling.

Umawang ang labi ko at nakaramdam ng panlalamig sa tiyan. "B-Bakit po? May sakit po ba siya?"

He quickly shook his head and flashed a sad, worried and extremely bothered smile.

"No, nothing. It's just a simply stomach's ache. You know your Tita Veronice too well, right? She sometimes overreacting..." there was a melancholy on his voice. Siguro nga ay nag-aalala ito sa anak niya.

Nakahinga naman ako nang maluwag. Pagkuwa'y napangiti ako at tumango-tango. "Sige po. Ako ang bahala ro'n. Pasok na po ako, Tito. Ingat po kayo. Ciao!"

__

Bago nagsimula ang klase ay tinawagan ko si Icarus para sabihing uminom ng gamot. He asked me who told me about it pero hindi ko na siya sinagot. Dumating na rin kasi ang guro namin para sa paunang klase sa panghapon. Hindi rin nagtagal ay natapos na ang klase namin.

Our classmate, Kelly, invited us to their house together with our circle of friends, and probably her other friends as well. Since our senior high school started, we also began doing sleep overs, partying, and travelling around our city.

Majority of our batch were now legal. Ako nalang ata ang hindi pa. I'm still seventeen and technically a minor. But that doesn't mean I am no longer part of the group. In fact, it seems like I'm even more matured than them. Well, aside from being 'a bit' conservative. Mostly on my age has already given up their virginities, and I haven't yet.

Our pool party has began and people started to get wilder and jollies. It was really fun and happy. The supposed prohibited drinks to us were now being served around. Drunk students, smokes from the cigarettes, and loud music along with the cheerful sounds from the people around were getting crazier.

Nasa pinakadulong bahaging area ang table namin kung saan tanaw na tanaw ko ang pangyayari sa buong lugar. The pool was in my view. May mga nakaupo sa gilid nito, nag-i-inuman, nagm-make-out, nag-uusap at nagsasayaw. Katulad ko ay nakasuot ang ilan sa amin ng panligong damit.

May mga waiter ang naglilibot sa paligid upang bigyan kami nang iinumin, kumuha ako ng isang maiinom at agad na lumanok dito. The party was so fun and enthusiastic.

Napangiti ako.

A group of male college students joined me in the table wearing only their shorts.

"Hi!" A chinito guy greeted me.

I flashed as sweet smile as I lifted my glass of alcohol and have a sip on it. "Hello,"

"Mag-isa ka lang?" tanong nito.

"May nakikita ka bang kasama ko rito?" natatawang saad ko. Umalis kasi ang mga kaibigan ko para makihalubilo sa mga bisita at nagpaiwan naman ako.

A man with an almost perfect face laughed. Kasama iyon noong chinito. "Tease..." Uminom ito sa can beer at nilagok muna bago tiningnan ako mula ulo hanggang paa. "What's your name, Miss?"

"Sun."

"Oh, Sun... cute." he smiled. "I'm Gaus, by the way."

"I know," ngisi ko. "Julian David, right?"

Namula ang buong mukha nito at bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata. "How d-did you..."

"You're my crush before, " I confessed and laughed cheekily. "And the man beside you is, hmmm... Arion? Arion, right? Tama ba?" tanong ko. He's his twin.

The snob and serious Arion replied with a scoff. Their other friend laughed and hang his arms on Arion's shoulder.

Julian or Gaus cleared his throat. "Well, I have a question Miss Sun." aniya.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Yeah?"

"Do you know someone who has a blonde hair, tall, skinny, pretty, and... and..." he trailed off. "And, has a white skin? She's a she. Probably around eighteen or nineteen,"

"Maganda ba kamo?"

He nodded and his thick brows furrowed. "I guess so?"

"Hmm..." nag-isip ako. "Blonde hair, tall, skinny, pretty..." I whispered. Nanliit ang mga mata ko habang may inaalala. Pagkuwan ay nag-angat ako nang tingin. "Do you mean Jasmine—"

Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang bigla nalang may sumulpot at malakas akong binati.

"Hi, Sungit!"

Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib at napasinghap. "Kalib!" I stood up abruptly.

"Wow, ganda natin ngayon, ah?" he looked at me from head to toe.

I flipped my hair. "Of course,"

He chuckled and glanced at the woman beside him. Nakaakbay ang mga braso ni Kalib sa balikat ni Jasmine habang ang huli naman ay nakasuot ng jeans at crop top. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko. The dress code should be a bikini or any swimming suit.

"Kuya..." ungot nito kay Kalib. "Payag ka na kasi, please? Ako lang ang naiiba..." her sweet and soft voice sounded begging

"No, My Doll." Kalib firmly said and shook his head. "We're not going to swim anyway. You don't know how to, remember?"

"Kuya!" she stomped her feet.

Kalib shook his head again bago niya ako binalingan muli. "Paupo rito, Sungit." aniya at walang pasintabing umupo na sa bakanteng upuan sa harapan ko.

Iginiya nito si Jasmine na nakasimangot. Her doll-like face were so beautiful even in pouting.

"Kayo lang, Kalib?" I asked.

"My cousins were here, ewan naasan ang mga tarantadong 'yon." he shrugged. "By the way, have you seen Dori? Her brother has been dying just to find her. She's nowhere to be found." he sounded worried.

Umawang ang labi ko. "What do you mean?"

"Possibly she sneaked out and goes here. That kid! She grew up stubbornly."

Napalabi ako. "She's here... Uh, we didn't know her parents didn't allow her to come over..."

He smirked. His turquoise blue eyes seemed darkening. Jasmine on the other hand slapped Kalib's lips.

"For what was that?" maang na tanong ni Kalib.

"You cursed!"

"I...did?"

"Hah, I heard it loud and clear!"

"I'm sorry," he apologised.

Someone cleared his throat. Doon ko lang naalala na may kasama nga pala ako sa lamesa. I shyly smiled at them.

"I'm sorry. What is it again?" tanong ko.

Julian shook his head as he glanced at Jasmine, his jaw clenched. Arion's lips was dramatically parted as his eyes widened while looking at Jasmine too.

"O-Oh...I think that is her, dude..."rinig kong bulong no'ng mga kasamahan niya. "Look, she has... oh, shit."

"Julian?" pukaw ko sa kaniyang atensyon. Nagbubulongan ang mga kasamahan nila at hindi ko naman marinig sa sobrang lakas ng tugtugin na pumapainlang sa buong lugar.

"I'm sorry but I think we need to go." Arion was kind of rushing. He grabbed his twin's arms and pulled him away. Their friends followed them after saying their goodbyes.

Nagkibit balikat ako.

"Who are they?" I heard Jasmine asked.

"Don't mind them. I told you not to look at any boys, My Doll."