THE JOURNEY OF LIFE

Learning to Stand on My Own

Chapter Five

My first year at university was quite an experience.

When I entered 100 level, I had already imagined how everything would go. I had my goals. I had my plans. I wanted to study hard, achieve excellent results, and continue moving toward the future I had always imagined for myself.

But reality had its own plans.

My first semester results did not meet my expectations.

That was difficult for me.

I had entered university with the intention of doing extremely well, and when the results came out, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I knew I was capable of more, and seeing results that didn't reflect what I expected from myself was challenging.

But I reminded myself of something important:

I wasn't finished.

One semester could not determine my entire university journey.

I was still learning.

I was still adapting.

I was still discovering what worked for me and what didn't.

Most importantly, I was still chasing my dreams.

As I moved through 100 level, I began realizing that university wasn't only testing my intelligence.

It was testing my character.

It was teaching me patience.

It was teaching me consistency.

It was teaching me discipline.

And it was teaching me how to stand on my own.

One of the biggest changes was learning how to live away from home.

Back home, there were people around me who could help with different things. At university, I had to become responsible for myself.

I had to think about what I was eating.

I had to think about my money.

I had to manage my resources.

I had to make decisions for myself.

Nobody was going to follow me around and remind me about everything.

I had to become my own reminder.

That experience changed me.

I started learning how to control myself better. I learned how to manage my time and resources. I became more conscious of the decisions I made because I understood that my actions had consequences.

Even money became a lesson.

Living on an island wasn't cheap. I had already experienced how expensive basic things could be, and I realized that I couldn't simply spend whatever money I had whenever I wanted.

I had to manage.

I started looking for simple ways to make some money and using my phone to do certain things that could help me financially. I also became more careful about saving whatever I could.

Sometimes, the smartest thing I could do was simply avoid unnecessary spending.

I would call my parents at home, check on them, and continue managing whatever resources I had.

It wasn't always easy.

But every difficult situation taught me something.

I was becoming more independent.

I was learning how to survive without constantly depending on someone else.

And perhaps one of the most important lessons was learning how to be comfortable with myself.

When I first arrived at university, I didn't really want to make many friends.

The first person I became close to was Francey, the girl I met while travelling to school by boat.

She was the first friend I made on that journey, and for a while, she was the only person I was really close to.

We became comfortable around each other.

But eventually, things changed.

We had issues, and we stopped talking.

Honestly, it was annoying and heartbreaking.

When someone you have become close to suddenly becomes distant, it can hurt.

But I eventually learned to let life take its course.

Not every friendship is meant to last forever.

Some people come into your life for a particular season, teach you something, share memories with you, and eventually move in a different direction.

I learned to accept that.

I also became more comfortable being alone.

At first, being alone could feel strange.

But eventually, I discovered that being alone wasn't necessarily the same thing as being lonely.

Sometimes, being alone gives you the opportunity to understand yourself.

And that was exactly what started happening to me.

I began understanding what I liked.

I learned to express what I didn't like.

I learned that I didn't have to react to everything.

That lesson was especially important because I had always been someone who could be stubborn and hot-tempered.

But the person I was becoming was different.

I was learning to ask myself:

Does this really require my reaction?

Sometimes the answer was yes.

Sometimes it was no.

And learning the difference became a sign of maturity.

My university environment also contributed to this.

The maritime environment was different from anything I had experienced before.

There was discipline.

There were parades.

There were routines.

There were expectations.

You couldn't simply behave however you wanted.

The environment demanded a certain level of discipline and responsibility.

Even travelling to school remained an experience.

During my first year, I was still getting used to travelling by speedboat. It was my first time regularly travelling such a long distance across the water.

At first, it felt unusual.

Eventually, it became part of my normal life.

I remember how fun the journey could be, especially when I had someone to talk to and play around with during the trip.

Those boat journeys became part of my university memories.

Looking back now, they represent more than transportation.

They were part of my transition.

Every journey across the water felt like another reminder that I was moving farther away from the life I had known and closer to the person I wanted to become.

My family remained an important source of encouragement.

They constantly reminded me to work hard, read my books, keep growing, and improve myself.

Their encouragement mattered because there were moments when I wasn't completely satisfied with my progress.

But I kept going.

I knew what I wanted.

I wanted to graduate with excellent grades.

I wanted to become an engineer.

I wanted to continue my education beyond university.

I dreamed of becoming a highly qualified engineer, even pursuing a PhD in engineering someday.

I also had dreams of travelling outside the country and experiencing life beyond the environment I had always known.

Those dreams kept me moving.

As 100 level gradually came to an end, I looked back and realized that I had changed.

Maybe my first semester results hadn't been what I expected.

Maybe I hadn't made many friends.

Maybe I had lost a friendship I once valued.

Maybe I had struggled financially.

But I had gained something far more important.

I had gained myself.

I had learned discipline.

I had learned independence.

I had learned consistency.

I had learned how to manage my resources.

I had learned how to control my temper.

I had learned when to speak and when to remain silent.

I had learned how to protect my peace.

And I had learned that I could stand alone.

Now, I was preparing to enter 200 level.

I wasn't the same person who had nervously stepped into university for the first time.

I had experienced enough to know that the road ahead wouldn't always be easy.

But I also knew that difficult moments didn't mean I was going in the wrong direction.

They were part of the journey.

As I looked toward 200 level, I carried one promise with me:

I would keep improving.

I would keep chasing my dreams.

I would keep making my family proud.

And I would keep becoming the person I had always dreamed of being.

I had completed one level.

But my journey was far from over.

The boy who had once questioned himself was beginning to understand his strength.

Next chapter>>