Visitors

Chapter Three

Chapter ThreeThe House of Commons was packed. All the seats were occupied and there were many standing on the floor by the Speaker’s chair and by the entrance to the lobby. In the gallery the Lords were assembled. The buzz of conversation was feverish. Then suddenly a hush descended. The Prime Minister had arrived exactly on time.

‘The Prime Minister…’ the Speaker intoned and Bob Shaw rose to his feet.

‘Mr Speaker, My Lords and Ladies and Honourable Members, this is indeed a momentous day and we have perhaps the biggest television audience this place has ever drawn. So I hope you will behave yourselves!’

There was a ripple of obliging chuckles.

‘We are indeed honoured by the presence of our guests and awed by their achievements in travelling from their distant planet. Now, I must tell you that this is not the first time they have visited us. On other occasions they did not show themselves but this time they have. I must emphasise that at no time have they shown aggression or caused harm to this planet. Their interest has been in our customs and in our genius for spiritual and philosophical penetration, and for this they said they were eternally grateful. So I don’t think that this is something the MOD need see as an emergency.’

An MP stood up and Shaw gave way.

‘Who were the philosophers and spiritual leaders the Alien mentioned?’

‘The captain of the Visitors dined at Downing Street last evening. My good wife did the cooking and it was a most pleasant evening. Afterwards I accompanied him to his MOD quarters and on the journey he listed those that he had studied: Plato, the Johannine Gospel and the Brahmins of India. He was also much entertained by the writings of the Sufi master Rumi. He also named the Chinese Taoist master Chuang Tzu. I’m ashamed to say he knew much more than I. Now, I’m sorry but we didn’t manage to discuss the spiritual leaders.’

The MP didn’t follow up and Shaw continued.

‘We will be moving our guests to more appropriate accommodation soon and no doubt there will be an opportunity for more discussion. This is a short statement. Now I’m open to questions.’

‘Is he a good Socialist, Prime Minister?’

Laughter followed the likeable MP’s question.

‘Better than the Honourable Gentleman! No taxes are collected!’

‘From the rich, you mean!’

‘No, from anybody!’

‘Well, if it helps the workers, I’m for it!’

‘Good.’

‘But where do they get the funds?’ Another MP questioned.

‘From the rental value.’

‘Prime Minister, this is the land value theory. I’ve had certain people pestering me with this idea. It’s primitive and impractical, ’ a further Member intervened with passion.

‘Well the Honourable Member may wish to reflect how our visitors got here. That certainly wasn’t primitive.’

‘Freehold property is the foundation of the state!’

‘Tell that to the young who can’t afford a mortgage for a start-up home!’

That’s another enemy he’s made, the Chancellor thought, sitting gnome-like at the PM’s side.

The Foreign Secretary sat forward on his bench and looked across: a well-groomed man, whose naturally cultured ways were perfect for his role.

‘Prime Minister, did the Captain make any suggestions?’

‘Venturing suggestions wasn’t on his agenda, as it were. But he could answer questions. So I used an old political trick and asked him what he thought that I should ask!’

There were knowing smiles across the despatch box.

‘And what did he say?’ an opposition frontbencher asked.

‘He was concerned at the erosion of core certainty, to use his words. It reminded me of Isaiah and I looked the passage up. This is it: Truth is fallen in the street and equity cannot enter. Your Prime Minister found it rather close to home.’

An agitated young man shot up on the opposite benches.

‘This is Victorian pretension!’

‘And what is your opinion? I must say, when it takes modern academics weeks to decide that a video-nasty is nasty, I sometimes wonder what has happened to our common sense!’

‘Censorship’s a fossil! It’s dead!’ The young MP shot up his hands in exasperation.

‘Order! Order!’ The Speaker’s voice rang out. ‘Will the Honourable Member control himself?’

The questions continued – curiosity questions in Shaw’s opinion. Then, and with deliberate measure, the opposition leader rose and approached the despatch desk.

‘May I congratulate the Right Honourable Gentleman on his handling of this momentous event. No one could have assured the nation better than he. There is nothing to fear and we can only wish our Visitors a happy sojourn with us. The Prime Minister has also suggested a prompt meeting with Her Majesty and this I support totally. And, Sir, may I thank you for quoting Isaiah. We need more of that.’

At that the opposition leader took his seat and the Prime Minster rose to thank him. He paused, amazed at his old antagonist’s support, for it was real and from the heart. That was a most engaging thing about the House – when it was necessary, friendship and support often came from one’s fiercest opponents.

‘I am most grateful for the Right Honourable Gentleman’s generous and substantial support. Indeed, at such a time as this we are one House, one Nation united in welcoming our Visitors from their distant planet.’

The Prime Minister sat down and the Speaker boomed the next business of the House.

After a brief word with the Chancellor, Shaw strolled out of the chamber with his friend the Foreign Secretary.

‘Jim, I think you’d better meet these folk. After all, you are the Foreign Secretary!’

After the first undignified interviews with the Visitors, when they were accused of being frauds, Shaw determined to protect the nation’s guests from further populist TV coverage. No doubt there’d be a hue and cry but the national interest – the dignity of the Nation – was in question. His press officer wanted all sorts of photo opportunities, but Shaw was quite determined that the first photographs released would feature Her Majesty. She was the Head of State.

He had procured an audience in the morning, when he would submit his proposals. In the meantime he would see the Visitors and discuss the detail and duration of their stay. Security, of course, was a major issue. There was always some sick soul anxious for the pale publicity of a headline.

Still slumped in his front bench seat, the Chancellor watched the PM leave the chamber. He was far from happy for in his eyes Shaw had acted like a stage-struck fool. He should have sent the Aliens packing! Instead, he’d fawned and grovelled. Well, Shaw would have to watch his back for there were many who were tired of his antics. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Samuel Burns slowly coming down the steps to the floor. Shaw had knocked him down and that was very foolish.

‘Samuel,’ he called, ‘let’s walk out together.’

‘Ah, George…’

‘Samuel, a few friends are gathering at Number Eleven tonight. Why not join us?

‘Delighted, George.’