Oakwood

Demetrius Spectre

A monstrous blood red Minotaur was coming straight at me, to anyone normal this would be a reasonable cause to piss their pants, for me it was something I was used to. See, I'm not normal, I'm in fact extraordinary. I'm a fully educated mage trained in all of the arts of magic and well read. The school I was raised and taught in was in a very mystical land all you need to know is I'm magic and I ditched that place once I'd gotten all I needed. As for this furious monster stalking up to me, he's sort of my best friend. I met him in a maze on a small island and befriended him, but that's another story. This is a story of epic proportions. It starts, for me, with a conversation with a stupid beast, his name is Jeff.

"you had better have found food you pisser or I think I'm having Minotaur steak tonight" I said to the brute. of course a Minotaur can't talk so Jeff just grunted and shook his head

"my god, I haven't ate in hours! I'm wasting away to nothing!" this was probably an overstatement seeing as I am well over weight, some would probably call me fat and I would call them slugs because that's what they would become. Jeff snorted loudly and pounded his hoof against the ground, probably as a reminder that he hadn't ate in days. I didn't realize how inhospitable the lands outside my sheltered school were, and now we're suffering for my inexperience. In those first few day's I had tried to magic up some food, the first of things I tried was turning a pine-cone into a ham. It looked and smelled delicious, but it tasted like what it really was, a pine-cone. I never was good at transmutation, I blame the teachers. when that failed I relied on my hairy, smelly companion to rustle up some grub, he was surprisingly good, damn animal instincts, but now that we were heading north into the colder environment food was getting more scarce. I just hoped we found the village I was looking for soon. Since I left my disaster of a school behind I'd been on a quest, to be honest this quest started when I was very young, when I was born really. It was a quest for glory and power.

When you grow up in a school for mages you learn quickly that your special because you have powers but not that special because there are hundreds of others just like you. I rose to the challenge of being the best, I was good at being the best, and I knew the ways to achieve my goals. There were always others better or more prestigious than me. I didn't like that. So I sprung myself and figured I could get an early start on my calling, to be the best. I decided to be the best you can't be alone, you need people to use as stepping stones on the way to the top. The first of these was Jeff, he's my bodyguard. It's amazing how many people are trying to kill those that aspire to be the best. But now I was looking for my skills man, someone to help me pick up on the trails of the other things I need, also maybe to protect me from this hungry Minotaur that keeps eyeing me like I'm a fresh roasted pig.

"well, oaf I guess its another morning without breakfast for you, and a first for me" I said idly picking up camp and packing it away. Me and my half-breed companion were heading to a village in the far north. I'd heard people tell stories about it in the last village we'd visited. They said it was a tribe of secluded hunters that were known to be the most brutal of warriors and most skillful of trackers. At least that's what I got from the hearsay. The true stories were filled with“maybe”and "supposed to be" no one believed them. But if there's anything a mage knows it's that there is some truth to every story, so I got some books and studied it up and all signs pointed to an area about 2 weeks walk north. It was day 13 and I'd seen no sign of any sort of village or other humans at all.

I realized as I reminisced about the past few days the camp had gone completely silent. too silent. I turned around to find the tip of a sword at my throat and similarly at Jeff's. the sword wielder was a heavily furred, heavily muscled man, his face had the look of leather and was fairly weathered by time, obviously the leader. Over his head was another head, the skinned head of a wolf. Around his waist was a plain rough leather sheath. “good morning to you too” I said letting my magic seep into the attacker calming him so he wouldn't attack. As soon as he looked calm I used my magic to detect this savage mans language, it was a series of clicks and grunts, no way I was going to speak that so I just made his mind understand my language. No easy feat but, as I said earlier I am good at being the best.

"I don't suppose you know where I could get some food?" I asked him with the grumbling in my stomach adding to the honest hope of my question.

"What is this language?" the deadly stranger asked with a look of confused almost horror on his face.

"Don't overreact its just magic.” I said simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Demon." my blunt, ignorant enemy assumed. "your arrival has been foretold, I am to bring you to the altar at home, you'll find what you seek there.” with that he turned and began walking as if he didn't have a sword to me and companions throats just a second ago.

"Um excuse me? What is it I'm looking for at your altar? The gods haven't been too happy with me so I doubt it's something I would like." all this was futile though because the fur covered barbarian didn't even look back at me. "Well Jeff…I guess we made it." I said as I followed our former attacker which was now our new guide. "You might just want to follow us until his 'home' is in sight. If there's more people I don't think they would be very happy to see you.”

We walked for an hour in complete silence. Anytime I would try to strike up a conversation my guide would only say "Almost there, Demon." even though I tried to explain that I wasn't a demon, I guess he just assumed I was lying. Since he obviously wasn't listening to what I was saying I just decided to make a game out of it.

"So, Furs (that’s what I decided to call him) since you live so far in the north your dong must be tiny all the time, I know mine has shrunk like mad since I got up here."

"Almost there, Demon”

"Yeah, yeah you said that. Anyway I haven't seen a tree in a while so what do you make your buildings out of? Lets see… I see a lot of ice and snow, are they made of ice? And if they are your furniture must be too. That can't be good for your dong either sitting on ice all day."

"Almost there, Demon"

"I know you speak my language so I know your just ignoring me, what is it you don't like about me? Does this robe make my ass look fat? Is it because I keep saying you have a tiny p***s? I know! its because I'm so much better looking than you. It was so obvious I don't know how I missed it."

"We're here Demon" I was so absorbed in trying to get some response out of Furs that I hadn't noticed the village in the distance. Well it was actually more like a town, how they got enough resources in this tundra I have no idea but somehow there was enough for a whole town.

"I've got to hand it to you Furs, I expected a couple teepees." I said the shock showing in my voice "hey Jeff this is your stop, go find a hole and try not to anger anyone that might happen across you. If I find food I'll bring you some." As we got closer to the town a couple of things took me by surprise first was the large structure in the middle of the town which I assume would have to be the altar Furs mentioned earlier. The other was that I was right, everything was made of ice. It was kind of discomforting knowing that while I was here I couldn't sit on anything for fear of getting frostbite on my ass and balls. Oh well, I might be dead soon anyway, I still had no idea what Furs wanted with me.