Held together
1095 Words
Last night, I didn't want love.
I wanted quiet.
I wanted someone who wouldn't ask me to explain the mess in my head or tell me to be strong or say it'll pass. I wanted someone who could stand beside me and let the world blur out.
Someone like Aaron.
When I arrived at school, I saw him by the lockers, I stopped pretending I didn't care.
'Hey,' I said.
He turned, surprised. 'Heyy.'
I didn't smile. I didn't joke. I just stood there, closer than usual. Close enough that my shoulder brushed his arm.
He noticed.
He always noticed.
'You didn't reply my text yesterday, I wanted to know if I could come pick you up this morning,' he said carefully.
'I was just tired, sorry. My Dad made sure he dropped me this morning,' I replied.
'It's okay. What matters is that you are here and doing good', Aaron said as he held my hand.
We walked to class together. No labels. But people stared anyway. Their eyes lingered longer than usual, curious, hungry.
I let them look.
At lunch, I sat with him again. This time, he didn't even ask. He slid his bag to the side so I could sit closer.
'You know people are talking,' he said quietly.
'I know.' I replied.
He hesitated. 'Does that bother you?'
I shook my head. 'Not really, I was taught by someone to not care about what others thought'.
He stared at me and smirked because he knew I was referring to him.
We were outside after school, the sun low, the air calm in a way my chest wasn't.
We sat on the steps, knees almost touching.
Aaron shifted closer.
'Hey,' he murmured.
I turned toward him.
And then, soft, brief, almost unsure -- he leaned in and pressed a light peck against my cheek.
It lasted less than a second.
But it changed everything.
He pulled back immediately, eyes searching my face. 'I - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...'.
'It's okay,' I said quickly.
He still didn't relax. 'Are you okay with... all of this?'
I knew what he meant.
The sitting together.
The looks.
The almost something forming between us.
I swallowed.
This is for survival, I told myself.
Just until the noise dies down.
Just until I can breathe again.
'Let's do it,' I said.
His eyes softened. 'Yeah?'
I nodded. 'Yeah.'
He smiled then, not wide, not flashy. Just real.
And I ignored the small ache in my chest.
I thought to myself
I wasn't falling in love.
I was holding onto something solid.
Aaron was calm. Safe. Present.
He made the days easier.
That was all.
I could stop anytime.
I would stop anytime.
Aarons POV
I knew she was hurting.
Not because she said it but it was obvious.
She leaned into silence the way people lean into walls when they're tired of standing alone.
When she sat with me again, when she didn't pull away, when she let the rumors breathe, I made a choice.
I wasn't going to rush her.
But I wasn't pretending either.
That peck?
It wasn't an accident.
I needed to know.
And when she said let's do it, something settled in my chest.
She chose me.
That meant something.
I didn't think about survival.
I thought about mornings with her laugh quieter but still there.
About giving her a ride home.
About staying.
Whatever this was, I wanted it.
I looked at Aaron, both of us were deep in our thoughts.
Aaron cleared the silence,
He said it casually.
'
I'll drive you home.'
Not I can. Not if you want.
Just, like it was normal. Like it was what boyfriends did.
I nodded and followed him to the car, my chest doing that strange tight-soft thing it had been doing all day.
The ride was quiet, but different now. Charged. The kind of silence that knew something had changed.
Aaron drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting near the gear.
Every now and then, his fingers brushed mine where it lay between us. Not on purpose. Not accidental either.
When we stopped in front of my house, he turned the engine off.
The silence deepened.
'So,' he said softly, glancing at me. 'This is me officially being your boyfriend and making sure you get home safe.'
I smiled despite myself. 'Guess so.'
He studied my face, careful. 'Still okay with this?'
I nodded. 'Yeah.'
That was the truth.
He leaned in slowly, giving me time to move away. I didn't.
He kissed me...
This kiss wasn't like the peck at school.
It lasted longer. Warmer. His hand rested lightly at my waist, steady and grounding, like he was afraid of doing too much, but even more afraid of doing nothing.
I kissed him back.
When we pulled away, his forehead rested against mine, breath uneven.
'You good?' he asked, quiet like the moment could break.
'I am,' I whispered.
The survival thoughts I had rang in my head.
I wasn't dating Aaron because I was ready.
I was dating him because he made the world feel manageable.
Because standing beside him meant people stopped looking at me like I was broken.
Because for a few minutes in his car, my chest didn't hurt.
This was survival.
That's what I told myself.
Aaron's POV
Driving her home felt... right.
Like something I'd been meant to do longer than a day.
When I kissed her this time, it wasn't testing anything. It was claiming something gently, carefully.
She was mine.
And whether she knew it yet or not, I was already in this for real.
By the next morning, the halls felt different.
Phones were already out. Whispers followed us like shadows. Someone laughed too loud. Someone else stared too long.
Aaron's hand found mine - steady, certain.
To them, it was proof.
To me, it was survival.
And somewhere between the lockers and the rumors, I realized something terrifying, this wasn't just a story anymore.
The school had chosen to believe it.
By first period, everyone knew.
The looks changed. The whispers sharpened. Girls I didn't know watched me like I'd taken something that belonged to them.
Aaron stood beside me like he wasn't going anywhere.
I told myself this was still just a way to survive.
But when I heard my name paired with his - over and over again - I understood the truth too late.
I was pretending for protection.
And Aaron was standing in the middle of a storm he thought was love.
- Writer
