Mis-Judge By His Secretary

9

Eleanor

You know that sinking feeling you get when you walk into a surprise test? The one you didn’t study for, didn’t even know was coming, and now you’re sitting there, staring at the paper, wondering if you can fake an emergency to escape?

Yeah. That was what it felt like when I saw Matt standing next to my mother.

She never mentioned bringing him. Not once. Not a single, casual, “Oh, by the way, Matt’s coming with me.” Nothing. She just showed up, dropped the bomb, and now I was sitting here at the dining table, trying not to choke on my own damn spit or even my breath.

I watched Nathan trying to answer my mother’s question of who he was and what he really did at the courthouse while I sat there, rigid. I hadn’t said a word to my brother since, and had just managed a smile at him.

It was as if I was dumb and couldn’t say any word at all, because why else was I unable to say anything?

Ms. Rhea who suddenly assume the duty of being the ever gracious host, was flitting around, setting plates, arranging napkins, and acting like there wasn’t a slow-motion train wreck happening in real time. I had spoken exactly once since my mother arrived…to offer my help when we got to the dining room, which she flat-out refused.

That was expected though, seeing as Ms. Rhea never really allowed me help in the kitchen mostly.

Now, as everyone settled in, Nathan cleared his throat, his deep voice slicing through my internal panic like a blade. “So, who’s this young man here?” He asked.

It was at that moment, I remembered that I hadn’t even introduced Matt to him, and that made it suddenly hot in here.

I felt my stomach drop.

I knew that tone. Curious. Casual. But Nathan wasn’t a casual guy. He was a federal judge. His brain worked in puzzles and facts, in things that made sense. This? This was a giant, blinking contradiction.

What was I supposed to say here? Because even though I could just tell him what I told everyone, his eyes felt like they were looking into my soul.

I turned to my mother, silently willing her not to say anything stupid.

She just smiled.

God help me.

Before I could get a word in, Matt; oblivious, smiling, so damn Matt… jumped right in. “My name’s Matthew, but everyone calls me Matt. I’m Eleanor’s brother.” He said so casually.

He extended his hand to Nathan, and my chest went tight as I watched Nathan shake it. There was just something about seeing the two of them talk, and touch, and hit it off, but I just couldn’t figure it out.

It was weird how it felt like they had known each other before now, but I was sure, and could say for a fact they haven’t.

“Oh,” Nathan said, his grip firm, his gaze flicking briefly to me before settling back on Matt. “Eleanor never mentioned having a brother.”

Of course, I hadn’t. It wasn’t as if there had been a time we spoke that deep about my personal life or family, expect for when Orson decided to be a jerk.

If I was being honest, we didn’t know much about each other, and we never really talked aside and outside of work, so there was no way I could have told him.

Matt grinned, leaning back in his chair like this was the most normal conversation in the world. “Don’t mind her. She’s a tad bit ashamed of me. According to her, Mom and Dad found me in a bin and brought me home.”

Mom laughed at that, because it was meant to be a joke, something I should be laughing to as well.

But I didn’t… I couldn’t. Instead, I felt like I wanted to die.

Not at the joke itself. We had teased about that for years, an inside thing between us. But now? Now it felt too close. Too raw. Too much like the truth I had buried so deep even Matt didn’t know it.

Because Matt Rhodes wasn’t my brother like I mentioned a while back, he wasn’t at all.

He was my son.

A child I had at eighteen for someone I didn’t even know; someone I probably wouldn’t even recognize if I saw them on the street. A child my parents had taken in and raised as their own so I could have a shot at a future.

And he had always been their son.

When Mom decided it was time to tell him, I realized something; truth wasn’t always liberating. Sometimes, it was a blade, and I didn’t know if Matt could survive being cut by it.

“Is that true?” Nathan asked, smiling at me like he was amused.

I forced a tight smile, but my heart was pounding. If only he knew. If only he knew the truth about this boy…

Sensing my unease, Mom jumped in. “So, Mr. West, I didn’t expect you to be this young. When Ellie told me about you, I thought you would be older. A federal judge at such a young age… that must have taken some serious determination.” She said.

I swallowed, grateful for the shift in attention.

Nathan smirked, leaning back in his chair, stretching an arm along the back of his seat. “It wasn’t easy. But some of us thrive under pressure.” He said.

His words felt pointed, and when his gaze met mine again, I knew he wasn’t done with the topic of Matt.

I picked up my water glass, taking a slow sip. Breathe, Eleanor. Just breathe.

Nathan was observant. Too observant. I could already see it… the little flicker of curiosity in his eyes, the way his mind was working behind the scenes, piecing things together. He wasn’t asking just to ask.

He was collecting data.

And that? That scared me.

“So, what about you, Matt?” Nathan asked casually. “What do you do aside school?” He asked.

Matt lit up. “I’m in the engineering group at school and I like to build things out of Dad’s garage.” He explained, his eyes shining as if he was grateful someone like Nathan was interested to getting to know him.

Nathan nodded. “Oh wow, that’s impressive.” Then, smoothly, too smoothly, he added, “And your parents don’t have any problem with that?”

My breath caught. Why was he asking the parents question for crying out loud.

Matt laughed, oblivious. “Oh they do, but they know I would do it elsewhere if I had the place. For now, I’m still stuck at home.” He said with a grin, winking at Mom.

Nathan’s gaze flicked to me again. “And you two are close?” He asked.

Matt shrugged. “Eleanor and I? Yeah. She’s just… you know, overly protective sometimes.” He said.

Nathan hummed. “I can see that.”

I needed this dinner to end.

I needed to get Matt away from here, away from him.

Because I knew how Nathan worked.

He asked questions like they were harmless, let you answer, let you think it was nothing… until it was something.

Until he had everything he needed to figure you out.

And if he figured me out?

If he pieced together the truth about Matt?

I wouldn’t just be dealing with my mother’s decisions anymore. The last thing I needed was for him to think I was a bad person who would deny her own child for the approval from the world.

The last thing I wanted was for him to judge me, for me to have to deal with Nathan West’s opinion about it.

And something told me that was a complication I couldn’t afford.