YOU LOSE, WE FIND, BY JON MATTHEW FARBERDanny and I grew up lower-middle-class in Northern Brooklyn, and he’s been my best friend since early childhood. In elementary school, we spent our time playing pick-up games of whatever sport was in season. By junior high we were dabbling in minor delinquent activities together, and by the time we graduated from high school, we were of one mind as to how we viewed the world. Danny, who was an absolute genius, earned a scholarship and eventually became a highly sought-after freelance software programmer. For my part, I became what I like to refer to as a redistributor, although you might view me more as a thief.
My specialty is stealing luggage from airports. This is surprisingly easy, and I’ve become quite skilled at it. My grandparents have told m
