Venom And Vice

16

I eyed the dog warily and stepped around to the front of the sofa, noting that the only place left to sit was inches from an arsenal of claws and fangs. I took a deep breath and eased myself onto the couch, practically draped over the arm of the couch to ensure we didn’t touch. Knight extended his head until his black nose booped my thigh. The affectionate gesture was disarming to say the least. “Oh, all right,” I muttered, placing my hand ever so slowly on the wolf’s head and exploring the varied textures of his fur. “How was your first training session?” Lochlan asked. My eyes instantly collided with Becca’s before looking at him. “Have you talked to Casek at all?” “No, why?” he asked warily. “Training didn’t go so well.” “There’s no one better to teach you to protect yourself. Casek can be rough around the edges, but give him a chance.” “That’s not exactly the problem, although his attitude doesn’t help. I kind of did something that I didn’t know I could do, and now, I’m not sure he’ll be willing to work with me anymore.” I collected my thoughts, then explained what had happened, knowing Lochlan would find out one way or another. Lochlan kept himself perfectly impassive while I spoke, collecting his thoughts once I’d finished. “Casek will work with you. I’m sure of that. But if you’re truly uncomfortable with the arrangement, I can assign a new instructor. It’s your decision.” His concession surprised me. I’d grown used to the unyielding nature of the Huntsmen. They didn’t often solicit our opinions. What did I want to do? Would I prefer to work with someone else? The instant swell of disappointment in my chest told me my answer. Despite everything that had gone on between us, I was more distraught at the idea of walking away than I was of facing him. Was this how my mother had felt about my dad? Don’t do that, Ashley. Casek isn’t your father. Hell, you’re the one who hurt him. We’d hurt each other … more than once. Wasn’t that enough to show that we’d be better off apart? But how could I walk away from him after seeing what he’d been through? What kind of message would that send? Maybe I was looking for an excuse to justify staying in the arrangement, but I didn’t care. It was reason enough. “I want to try again,” I finally answered. “If he’s willing, then I am, too.” The decision went against everything I’d trained myself to believe through the years. No second chances—not where men were concerned. Everything about our interactions had been contentious, yet I had an inexplicable yearning to explore what else lay beneath his prickly layers. Growing up, I’d told myself I would never be like my mother. I prayed this wasn’t the first step in that direction. “You’re welcome to come to me anytime you have a problem,” Lochlan offered graciously. “Thanks. I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Please, please let my instincts be right. The three of us talked for a few more minutes before Becca and Lochlan spoke privately and left. Becca gave me an odd, apologetic look before going. I assumed she felt bad about leaving me alone with Knight. I locked the door behind them, then returned to the living room, choosing to sit on the loveseat to give us some space. First, I got out my phone and decided to verify that Casek and I were indeed still working together. If he chose to withdraw as my instructor, despite Lochlan’s assurances, I could scratch that worry off my list. Me: What is the plan for training? Casek: Tonight. Same time and place. Well, okay then. Commence stressing. Knowing I could never concentrate now, I sat cross-legged on the floor and decided to practice summoning my magic. Aside from acting as a distraction, I preferred to test things before our next session that evening. Maybe then we wouldn’t end our night in disaster. One could only hope. I closed my eyes and focused inward. Quickly locating the pool of energy within me, just as Merlin had instructed, I tugged at the magic, trying to coax it from its resting place. Over and over, I summoned and strained, teased and commanded the elusive energy with zero response. It remained perfectly inert, unaffected by my efforts. It didn’t take long for frustration to well up inside me, cinching tight like a collar around my neck. I tried to assure myself that it was probably the overflow of emotions from last night disrupting my ability to access the magic. Maybe all I needed was an early lunch and a little rest. Then I’d be right as rain. “I suppose I’m responsible for feeding you as well,” I said to Knight. At the mention of food, his head shot up and tilted to one side as though unsure he’d heard me correctly. “That’s what I figured. Come on, let’s see what’s in the fridge.” I didn’t have dog food on hand, but I doubted he’d complain. I put down a mixing bowl full of water, then made us each a charcuterie plate. He managed to inhale his before I’d even sat down with mine. Looks like I’d be going to the grocery instead of napping. I spent the afternoon getting work done and running errands. Knight joined me, loping behind me everywhere I went. The comfort of his presence was oddly satisfying. I was never one to prefer being alone— damn extroverted neediness. I loved being independent, but I preferred to be independent with other people. I was a living oxymoron. I tried one more time to summon my magic later that afternoon but was again unsuccessful. Forcing myself to shrug off the disappointment, I got ready for my evening with Casek. It was time to train, and I needed to figure out what the hell I was going to say.