Real Love Or, Fake Love?

Chapter 7

Julie

Ryan. He seems like he would be a nerd compared to Ryder. Ryder is a jock. Captain of the football team. They couldn’t be different from one another. I will say I wish that it was Ryan that I met a long time ago. I could see myself happy with him. Is that wrong? It will be weird to try to be with him now. Maybe me and Ryan was only met to be friends. I want to be his friend but right now when I look at him all I see is Ryder and that’s not fair to Ryan. Out of no where Ryan is running down the hall and runs right into me. Okay I kind of made it happen. I didn’t move out of the way. I know I should have.

“So sorry. I didn’t see.. Ohh hey Julie. I was looking for you.”

“Why was you looking for me?” I really don’t know what he would want me for but I am happy he wanted to see me.

“ I just talked to my mom and told her that Ryder is a dick.” I couldn’t help it I had to laugh. I cant believe him. We need to go to class. I also want to go and see how Ryder is doing.

“I’m going to go and see how Ryder is doing. Ill talk to you later.” I leave before Ryan can say anything back to me. I really don’t want to go see him. I want to stay with Ryan. I find him finally putting a piece of paper in my locker.

“Ryder, we need to talk.” I hat those words.

“ I knew you would come around Julie.” He thinks very highly of himself.

“Not about us. How are you holding up finding out you have a twin.?” I really wish I didn’t care so much.

“Why do you care so much about him? Are you trying to be with him?”

“What? No I’m not. I was just trying to talk to you. You found out you was adopted and you have a twin brother, that cant be easy.” I hate talking to him right now.

“ I need to change the subject Julie I’m sorry that I got with you for a joke but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you.”

“ The worst part of this whole thing is I knew something was wrong before you even said anything. You being with me was weird.”

Before I knew what was going on me and Ryder was kissing. How did this happen? I pulled myself away from him. I had to tell him “I’m sorry Ryder we will never get back together.” I don’t know why I feel guilty for kissing him.

“Julie please let me show you I love you.” Why wont he just stop? I don’t want to be with Ryder anymore. Its weird how that happened. All I ever wanted was him and now I don’t want to even be around him. He leaves and I open my locker and I read the note. It only has three words on it. I have not heard from my friends since the party.

I LOVE YOU!!

I love you to I say to myself. I know what I want to do in this moment. I want to kiss Ryder. I’m going to. I go down the hallway by the boys restrooms. I see him he is coming out the bathroom. I run to him without thinking. Good thing to cause I would have talked myself out of it. I jump on him he catches me I have my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

“Julie what are you doing?” Ryder asked.

“Please shut up and kiss me!” He didn’t think about it he just did it.

This kiss feels different then the other ones we have had. It feels like we are the only two people here. I don’t want it to ever stop. But then I hear Ryder yell my name. Then Ryans. In that moment I realized I mixed them up. I kissed the wrong person. I feel so bad. It also feels s right. Ryan is my one not Ryder. I turn to Ryan and he has a big smile on his face and that makes me smile. I then ask Ryan a question I never thought I would ever ask him.

“Ryan do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Ryder says something before Ryan says anything.

“You only asked him cause he looks just like me.”

“Umm NO I asked him cause I wanted to.” Why would he say that or even think it? What is wrong with him.

This time its Ryan who says something. “Stop! Ryder I know this is hard for you I do believe you fell in love with Julie. How could you not? I have only known her a short while and I think I have. She is amazing!” He what now????

Ryder comes back with. “How would you know that you just met her today Ryan?”

“Umm no me and Julie met after the party.” Ryan tells him.

Ryder looks at me and he looks so defeated and finally says “you never wanted me back.”

“I was coming t find you after I read your note. I though that I had found you.” That sounds so bad. I see the hurt in Ryans eyes.

“ So Julie the kiss we just had was for Ryder?” Ryan asked with hurt in his voice. I have no choice but to answer him I hope he still want to be with me after I say what I have to.

“Yes Ryan it was. But when we kissed I felt something. I never felt that with Ryder. I’m sorry Ryder you have to hear this as well.”

“What did you feel?” I thought it would be Ryan to ask this question but no it was Ryder.

“ I really don’t know how to explain it.” This time its Ryan who says something.

“You better figure out how to say cause I want to say yes to you but not if you still want Ryder, I don’t want to get hurt. I really want to be with you Jullie.” I cant get mad about that I want to be with Ryan as well.

“When we kissed Ryan time stopped. I knew you wasn’t Ryder. Our kiss had me wanting more. I knew with our that you was my one. You will forever be mine and I would forever be yours.” I hope this was the answer he wanted to hear.

Ryan speaks and says. “Don’t hurt me Julie and I’m all yours. I knew when I met you at the mall you belonged with me.” Ryan has a way with words. I can feel the emotion behind everything he just said. That was easy to promise I would never hurt him. I shook my head to him and help out my pinky to do pinky swear. I know it’s a kid thing but at least he would know I was being for real.

I know people might have a lot to say to me about me dating Ryders twin after we just broke up. I don’t really care what people have to say. The main person I’m waiting for to say something is Joe. She should be happy im out of the picture now she can have Ryder back. Speaking of her I haven’t seen her at all today. Ryan pulls me from my thoughts by telling me we are at our last class of the day. This wont be good Ryder is in this class. Same with Ryans mom. I look and see Joe in here in a seat already. Where has she been? Joe is looking at Ryan but I know she thinks he is Ryder. I know the look she is giving him and speak up.

“Joe. What are you looking at?” She looks at me with a weird look.

“You took Ryder back?” Joe says. It comes out a little bitchy.

“No Joe. This is Ryders twin brother Ryan..” She gets a flirty face going.

“ Ohh, well I would like to show you around. You don’t have to go around the school with this loser.” There it is I was wondering when she was going to say something mean about me.

“ Joe this loser your talking about I Ryans girlfriend.” I was a little proud when she winced. I don’t know why I need to justify myself to her.

“ Wow your messed up for dating someone who looks just like your ex. I think you need help.” I should have known Joe would have said something like that.

“ Are you mad Joe cause I’m with Ryan and your not?” Now I’m getting a little bitchy. I like it. I hate being the nice girl.

“ You don’t deserve to be with him just like you didn’t deserve to be with Ryder.”

Wow that was wat out there. Not like she hadn’t said that before to me.

Ryan jumps in the conversation. “ If I might say something Joe was that your name?”

“Yes why?” that’s all Joe said.

“ You can say what you want but I would choose Julie over you any day you have no heart. Now if you don’t mind moving so we can get to our seats?”

Wow she isn’t happy. I cant believe she said that to her. She has to learn to stop putting people down. I start to think and I want to know why I decided to date Ryan right after breaking up with Ryder. This feels so wrong. But I cant help doing it. Maybe I’m doing it to get back at Ryder but, if im doing that does that mean that Ryan is just a rebound? Do I still have feelings for Ryder? Should I break up with Ryan? I don’t want to hurt him but, I need to figure some things out. Why do I have to be thinking about this stuff? Ryan has been nothing but nice to me. I think im with Ryan for the wrong reasons.

“Hey Julie I think we need to go on a date.” I don’t know how to tell him about what I was just thinking. I cant keep it from him.

“Ryan we don’t have to do that.”

“Are you having second thoughts about being with me? If you are you need to tell me.”

“Ryan I don’t know if I am or not. I was just dating Ryder and I don’t want people to think I’m only with you to get back at him.”

“Are you using me to get back at my brother?”

How could he think that? I guess I cant get to mad cause I was just thinking the same thing.

“ All I can tell you Ryan is I though you was him.”

“So yo was going to give him another chance?”

“I was thinking about it, then we kissed and I knew that you are my one.” I feel like the biggest b***h ever. How could I do this to him?

“Okay, but if you feel like you don’t want to be with me anymore just tell me.”

“Ohh baby you don’t have to worry about that. I will always want you!”

After talking to Ryan about everything I know he isn’t a rebound. He is my one and I never want to lose him. I know I might seem young, but he will always be mine. Its funny cause I was just saying this stuff about Ryder. I can feel the difference though. I really hope Ryder can move on. I feel sorry for him if he thought I was his one. I just hope he becomes happy to. He needs someone who will play around with him, who can make him laugh. He just needs someone who can show him they aren’t like Joe and I guess myself now. I showed him what love is then threw it in his face. How could I do that to him? I don’t know how me and Ryans story will end but I won’t think about it. I know we can make each other happy. Ryan already makes me feel like im the only girl he sees. I pull out my phone and text Meg and Ruby in our group chat we have. I can only imagine what they think about all this.

Me:

So, have you guys heard anything about what’s going on?

Ruby:

No, what’s going on?

Meg:

Yes, and Ruby Julie is talking about her dating Ryan.

Me:

Yes, I’m dating Ryan. So when you see him and I be nice to him. I know you liked Ryder but I cant go back to him.

Ruby:

You found the best rebound ever. He looks like your ex. Your smart.

Me:

Ryan isn’t a rebound. If your going to be negative you can stop texting me. Meg you haven’t said anything yet.

Meg:

Yeah sorry, if your happy I’m happy.

Me:

Thank you. Bye.

Ruby is a very negative person. Why did she automatically think I was smart cause I’m with a person that looks like my ex. Ruby is supposed to be my friend, but she seems to judge me more than anyone else. Maybe her and I should take some time away from each other. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong and I might be but she should have my back no matter what. Be on my side. Ryan isn’t just a rebound for me. I think Ruby is mad cause now she cant hang out with the popular kids. She would rather see me unhappy. Ruby had the nerve to text me after I got done with the group chat and asked “Why I couldn’t just get back with Ryder.?” Some friend she is. She was defending his actions then when I called her on it she got pissed at me. I will never be okay with the fact that Ryder got with me as a joke. Or should I say to teach me a lesson?

I’m surprised Mike hasn’t said anything yet. He is the most judgy of all m