Cold Claws
Sarah
" I wasn't supposed to?" Sarah fought back.
Glen paused. " Seriously ? I can't believe you."
"I am just curious Glen...and confused" Her gaze dropped.
" You chose to be." Glen's tone was indifferent.
Sarah didn't respond.
"He came to me...and asked what had happened."
Sarah didn't look surprised.
" I'm guessing you sent him" Glen deduced.
" I didn't think he'd go to you."
Glen nodded. " He made it a spectacular approach...one that would be hard to forget."
Sarah suddenly frowned. " What did you tell him?"
"I...I told him the truth."
Sarah closed her eyes and touched her head. " What the f**k is wrong with you? "
"What!? I wasn't supposed to?" Glen asked in disbelief. " Your gratitude is really heartwarming. You're welcome. "
"Why did you tell him?! You'd have let me make that decision. "
" He asked me, Sarah!... maybe you should just calm down and go meet him already....get this sorted out."
" What if he says it's true? What if he can't deny it?" Hopelessness blinked in her eyes.
" You want him to say it's not?" Glen was just beginning to understand how scared her best friend was. " You don't have to let yourself spiral down that hole. "Tell him to explain to you...he should be honest with you...that way you can find closure, maybe forgiveness."
Forgiveness. She couldn't find it in the sharp, soft edges of the photos she had held, in the vivid images blooming from the inkjet.
It would have been an interesting concept. If only it wouldn't rear it ugly snowy head, just when you were naked--hurt--and wrap it's icy cold claws around you.
Sarah paused. " What did he say?"
Glen shook her head. " Who said I did anything? And then he left."
Sarah mused, before a hint of a smile crept up her features before vanishing instantly as it came.
She began walking. "Let's go home."
"Sarah.."
"You know I'm trying so hard to focus on anything other than him? I need to find some clarity of mind ...Do you think that is possible? Perhaps you can help me. "
Glen nodded." Fine... wait for me then."
When they left the classroom, they hobbled their way into the huge, expansive lobby.
The long bright Venetian windows crept up to the ceiling and curved in a way that it frowned down at Sarah.
The gilded ceilings towered over her, attempting a jibe at her for being off limits.
She scowled at the gilded lamp sconces hung on interspersed parts of the wall, not feeling appreciation for them like she used to.
The two soft fluffy sofas that went concentrically at the center of the lobby were a tasteless manifest of whoever had orchestrated their position.
Maybe they were better off in a living room--someone's living room.
Not a space and place for Leonard and Astra to sit and cuddle themselves.
Leo was on his phone as Astra seated next to him, held him tightly.
"What really is wrong with your sister?" Glen asked as they walked side by side. "Doesn't she realize she is doing this to her own blood?"
Her and Astra might have been blood, but they definitely didn't have good blood between them.
"If you ask me, I'd say it's a generic problem... you only managed not to be affected because you are you...different "
Glen scoffed " I'm not so different...I can still tell right from wrong."
" Which makes us two....best friends." Sarah said. " I wonder if my relationship with my sister can still be salvaged...if ever."
" I imagine how you must feel."
"It's not something I can control though" Sarah said, more as a reminder to herself. "Let's go."
" Don't you want to talk to him--"
" No " Sarah said as she dragged her feet along.
Leo caught her gaze, and she looked away from him.
He didn't react as he watched them leave.
*****
Sarah crossed the lush double lawn that was a blend of teal and forest green as she made her way across the large windows that dominated the facade made of navy blue siding, allowing a lot of natural light into the modern-style house.
When she reached the door, it croaked open of its own accord --well, not really by itself. Mom stood inside, her brows creased and her hunter-green eyes looked tired. "Sarah, I've been worried... What happened to your phone, I've been calling you"
Sarah simply sighed as she made her way into the house.
"Sarah? Where is your sister?"
"Obviously busy... having the time of her life." The words flowed like bile from her mouth.
Passing the spacious living room, she bolted for her quarters and slammed the door shut when she got in.
Sarah focused on the three artworks hung meticulously just above her queen-sized bed.
A strong wave of repulsion washed over her, but she knew better than to go rip them apart.
The beautiful black bluffs in the paintings were innocent of Leo's annoying quirks. Even though they were from him, she couldn't blame them for anything.
She sighed. "I guess you guys don't care that he's hurting me, do you?" She snorted, her hot burning gaze on the motionless items.
A soft knock sounded on the door. "Sarah...what is the problem?" Nora's voice creeped in from outside.
"Can I come in?" She added when Sarah didn't respond.
" I..I am fine mom. I have just had a rough day at school. Exhausting work, you know the usual. "
" Are you sure? It's not something you don't want to talk about?"
" No mom .. I'll like to be left alone now."
" Right ..at least let me know when your sister is getting back."
" You have her number, don't you." Sarah's voice carried her frustration. "Goodness." She didn't say that one out loud.
" You think if I could reach her I'll be disturbing you? Both your lines were off. Lord knows what sort of exhaustion would cause you both to have your communication devices turned off." The reproof was clear in her tone.
" I assure you mom. Today was anything but stressful for your daughter."
Nora hesitated. " Well, I hope so...but why didn't you come back with her?"
Sarah rolled her eyes. " Because..." She fought not to yell. " She had something to do back at school...a late project submission or so."
And she's a f*****g adult too. Sarah decided not to add.
Why the f**k did she have to lie for that asshole though?
The words left her mouth before she could retrieve them, but she wasn't remorseful about it.
Wasn't that what Astra was? She couldn't even imagine putting her in the same state.
"I'll keep trying her line though." Nora said as the sounds of her footsteps receding brought Sarah momentary relief, just before she sank into the dark green of her velvet duvet.
She stared up at the white of her ceiling, as they formed a backdrop for her thoughts, her racing heart a melancholic musical addition to the vignette.
How could Leo avoid addressing the issue? Even when Glen had told him what had happened.
Annoyance crept up her gut.
But he asked--and she shunned him.
She had pulled away from his embrace.
What the hell was wrong with her?--but what was she supposed to do? She had reacted as normally as any girl--any human-- would, hadn't she?
She shot up, grabbing for her phone, then she searched out his number.
She took her thumb halfway to click on the dial, before dropping the phone back on the bed with a loud sigh.
The sound of a revving engine drew nearer before going silent.
Sarah stood up from the bed when she heard Nora's voice.
"Astra, my goodness. Leonard?" Nora said, the pleasantness seeping from her voice.
"Hello Nora, nice to see you again." Leo's voice was sound with teeth as it bit into her ears.
Right, he brought her back home.
"You came back with Astra." Nora said, a clearly hidden question weaving its slippery cocoon around her words.
"Oh yes .." Leo spoke up. "Sarah had a few things to do back at school, so we had to leave."
Liar.
Sarah's mind thundered.
She walked to the door and held the handle when Nora said. "Oh I see... Astra I have been trying to call you.."
" Sorry mom... You know how projects can be, you just have to remove distractions for the meantime."
Sarah couldn't bear hearing the lies anymore. She pulled the door open and walked into the living room where they were.
"It's a lie mom...they left me back at school, deciding they wanted to come home together." Sarah blurted, before she remembered to screen through her words.
Silence swooped in, taking rein behind the curtains ruffling in the soft breeze.
Nora's face squeezed, her black hair flailing as she turned to Astra. "Astra, what is Sarah talking about?"
Astra rolled her eyes. "Mom, Sarah is just in a bad mood. You have no idea how I've tried to get through to her since today. I even told her to wait for me so we could come back together. She refused. She's just letting her bad day affect everyone."
Sarah scoffed, her eyes widening. " I seriously can't believe this. Astra, you are pushing me to the wall with these miserly misdemeanors...how did you become so sinister?"
Astra looked at Nora. " Mom, can you see how she is flaying at me? She just doesn't have control over her--"
" It's enough." Nora raised a hand. " Sarah, she is your junior sister. You should be more considerate towards her..and need I add matured" Nora's gaze was laced with skepticism.
"I don't get how I am the fault here."
"You both seriously want to do this in front of Leonard?"
Leonard shook his head. " It's okay, Nora." He then turned to Sarah. " I believe we should talk... outside."
"There's no need to.." Sarah said, but her heart was skidding down snow-covered mountain Euphoria on a surfboard.
Astra turned to Leo. "You don't have to take the blame for her actions.. it's not your fault."
" Astra let's head inside..." Nora instructed.
" Mom."
" Now." She insisted.
Astra sulking, dragged her legs across the brown striped creamy rug that covered the center of the living room as she followed Nora in.
"Come with me "
"Come with you where?"
" And bring the pictures with you." Leo finished before heading out.
Sarah hesitated before she did as instructed.
She walked out into the open front yard, the sharp of her heels hammering her anxiety into the bluish-white marble tiles that floored the paved driveway.
The silver of Leo's Ferrari shone in the heat of the sun as the car stood out in the arid environment.
The driver's door was open, revealing Leo as he stared ahead, not bothering to look at Sarah as she walked to the other side.
As soon as she got in, both doors closed and the AC vents began cooling, solidifying the silence between them.
Sarah was overtly aware that her sister's bums had sat here, and if it were in a different circumstance, it wouldn't have mattered. She would have even welcomed the development.
"Where are the pictures?" He cut the silence.
" You still want to see them? You think that is important right now?"
" If there is a picture with my image circulating, don't you think I have a right to see?"
Hesitantly, with the envelope crackling in her hands, she dropped it on his lap.
"I don't need you to confirm anything..I can already tell from what I am seeing. All I request is that you tell me it was a drunken moment between you two..that you realized, to your utter dismay and remorse, what you had done, that you feared telling me because you were anxious how I'd take it."
Leonard's gaze remained unflinchingly on the pictures as he looked at them.
" And if I do?"
"I want an apology." Sarah remarked stately.
" Why would you want me to say something you aren't sure is true or not?"
" Leonard" Sarah's mouth tightened.
Leonard smiled lopsidedly, although his expression wasn't one of amusement , instead he had the look of a parent trying to stop his kid from doing something damaging.
"You shouldn't jump to conclusions when it's just a picture."
" I am not...the pictures speak for themselves--'
"And why would you trust an image..when it is subject to different meanings."
Sarah held herself back from responding, and Leo pushed on.
" A picture speaks a thousand words..not one"
Oh please, spare me the didactic lessons. Sarah didn't say.
He took another look at them and averted his gaze. "She ..kissed me... that's all it was. I didn't take it as...anything."
"You seemed to be enjoying it though."
"I've told you it's nothing "
"Yet a picture was the result... what if this spreads on campus? " She was silent for a split moment. " I mean...you didn't see her mouth coming towards yours did you?. " Not that she wanted to drag the matter, all she needed was reassurance. He just had to persist in telling her it was nothing.
And she'd let the matter go, after all mistakes did happen, and she couldn't ascertain exactly what Astra was trying to achieve.
This was all her plan.
"What's it to you?..and what if I kissed her? Do you have to make something out of it?"
Sarah brows creased. " There is nothing there? You mean to tell me... you kissing my sister.. is perfectly normal?"
Leo scoffed, rolling his eyes. " You know when you act so insecure like this...I wonder if at all we are meant to be together."
Sarah remained silent. She wanted to say something, but her throat was dry, like the crisp hot sands of the Sahara.
Any words she formed and forced up her throat would just melt before it got a chance to be voiced out.
"A kiss could mean many things. It definitely doesn't have to mean cheating." Leo pushed.
She said slowly, her voice barely beyond wilting whispers. " A kiss means one thing, and it means cheating.. do you realize you are being disrespectful to me, Leonard?."
" I'm done explaining myself." Leonard lambasted, flinging the photos back to her." Need I
remind you I have options, and if you continue like this.. I'll be forced to choose a better partner."
Sarah's face dropped. " What did you just say?"