My love, don't fear me

Chapter 5: Searching for her, everywhere & anywhere

("I can't stand it. what do I have to go off of? Red eyes & that's it?" Her lips...or her hands...")

Mary's mind is drifting as she's trying to think of all the leads she has to go off of, but it's hard for her to even get off of her bed when her mind is filled with these lewd memories of her midnight lover swirling around, making her unable to think clearly. She's struggling to resist the urge to go at it, again, for the 3rd time. She's feeling feverish from this love spell put on her from the taste of her lips. A spell that's making her act less Mary-like; calm unless heated, slightly degrading to people or grouchy, cold face.

That's not how she is at all right now.

Her cheeks are red with heat. Her body is contorted slightly with her legs closed together and her clothes thrown about.

She's hot & sweaty while blushing ear to ear with her red cheeks. She's embarrassed to be feeling like this, & never wants anyone to see her like this, not even the midnight lover. It's hurting her ego too much already.

("I need to get up. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I need answers.")

Mary's getting up off of her bed with her pile of clothes that she'd thrown off of her slender body earlier. She's taking them to her dirty laundry hamper before she goes to her wardrobe to pick out some black clothes to wear. Her favorite ones to wear are black with often subtleties of red or purple, like her Slipknot & Metallica band T-shirts, her black with red or purple trim dresses, baggy clothes. She usually pairs them with different Doc Martins of hers (all steel toe in case she needs to fight). This time, she's eyeing some baggy black ripped jeans that are about three times her actual size with a black muscle tank top, black & red flanel & her plain black lace-up Docs. She tends to wear lots of jewelry, such as spiky metal leather bracelets, feminine rings with jewels on them, thin & thick chains around her neck & sometimes on her pants, & small hoops in her ears, two on each side. She has a love for silver, & it shows. This is as masculine as she gets. Most of the time, she wears feminine clothes or casual baggy tees with some sweats. She's feeling very masculine today, especially after what she'd done earlier. She can still feel her body pulsing down there & it's making it hard for her to focus, but Mary's willpower is strong & her mental barriers are even stronger.

She's leaving the house as quickly as she can & heading straight for the part of the woods she was in last night.

"Okay, footsteps, footsteps, are there any markings?"

Mary's staring at the ground as she retraces her steps.

"This is where I was before I collapsed."

Mary's looking straight at the spot where she collapsed. None of the ground had a body shape on it where she would have fallen. Her shoe marks ended there & began again with a different shoe shape right where she fell.

"What the fuck."

Someone was there with her. She must have been.

Mary's pulling out her phone & taking a picture of the shoes. This is a start, a lead, something to follow. They looked like size 8 women's boots. Based off of her... interactions with her last night, her body felt like it was a bit taller than her

& she's 5'8, so close to 5'10 would make sense. Finally, some leads.

"I have to find her. I need to see her."

Suddenly, she hears buzzing in the distance again.

("s**t, my phone. Jordan.")

She's running over to her phone. She finds 5 missed calls from Jordan. That's far more than usual. Her phones at 25% thankfully fine from no rain & the summer temperature not being too cold. She's putting her phone in her pocket & ignoring him for now.

Mary's mind is racing constantly while she's running back to her house to get in her car. She's being pulled by her desperate desire to find her, see her, know her, touch her, breathe the air that she breathes & feel her presence again. What is this feeling? There are so many thoughts & emotions in her right now. It's hard to contain herself when she's overflowing for the first time in her life. She's always kept her head level, always brushed everything off of her shoulders like it was nothing. She's never depended on anything or anyone besides her mother to raise her, but now, things are different. She needs her & she doesn't know why. She's terrified of never seeing her again.

(" I can't wait another fifteen years to find her again. Not again.")

Mary's parking outside the bakery, she knows Mr. Lentz knows anybody & everybody who comes around here, so she figures it'll be a good place to start. Mary's walking into the bakery as a couple with a child are walking out of the store. Tourists, she assumes, as she's never seen them before. In the summer, Ravenwood attracts lots of tourists due to its rich history & historical buildings. Mary's walking fast straight to the front counter.

"Mr. Lentz."

"Oh! Mary dear. Are you alright? You seem on edge. I hope you enjoyed the baked goods yesterday! Would you like some more?"

He's smiling after having eyed her up & down. He knows she wears her grungy masculine outfits when she's in a mood. Her hair was still disheveled & she hadn't washed her face when she got dressed, so she had the eyes of a raccoon from the aftermath of sleeping with eyeliner on. He can tell she's on a mission, but wants to keep face to not stress her out.

"The food was good, thanks. You should have let me pay you without jumping through hoops, but anyways, I'm looking for someone. Hav you seen a woman, around five foot ten with size 8 feet & red eyes?"

"...Red eyes? Mary, are you alright? I've never seen anyone with red eyes before."

"If you do, call me. See ya."

Mary's already heading for the door as soon as Mr Lentz answered. She can only think of her right now.

"Mary wait-"

The door shuts before he could finish speaking. He feels uneasy letting her go around by herself in her state, but he knows he can't follow her around. She isn't a child anymore.

("f**k. He was my best. If he hasn't seen her, who would have?")

Mary went to the florist, the convenience store, a couple of tourist restaurants that sold old recipes from the town that had been modified over the years, & even the post office, but luck wasn't on her side today, & she's on the cusp of having a breakdown.

"Where are you..."

Mary's starting to say her thoughts out loud as she's stumbling through the town. She can't keep herself together anymore.

"Where are you... please."

Her voice is shaking.

"Lil-"

Her words are choking in her throat. Who hadn't been named was known. The reason unknown. The six letters formed in her head. She knew who she was looking for.

"LILITH! WHERE ARE YOU?!!"