The Squad Effect

Chapter 10 | Drugged Up

Cameron Dallas

Taylor looked at me expectantly from the stiff infirmary chair beside me.

"I can't believe I did that. At this point, I'm no better than he is." I sighed, pushing back my hair from the stress.

"This is crazy. Where is the guy who would ignore any and all hate he received? Where is the guy who tried to befriend everyone? Where's the guy who would go out of his way to do good things for people? That guy was my best friend. Not this one." Taylor lectured me, crossing his legs at the ankle.

"I get it! I'm sorry Tay."

"You're fighting people and ridiculing them for their s****l orientation. Come on Cameron, whatever personal issues you need to fix shouldn't be taken out on other people. If he wanted to press charges, you could go to juvie." Taylor continued. I knew he was right and I couldn't stand to be lectured again. I shot up out of the chair and stormed into the infirmary's restroom. I flicked on the lights, my eyes darting to the insects that were trapped in the fixtures.

I looked into the mirror, memories of times that have long passed flashing across my mind.

It was the end of December during my freshman year. Winter break was in full effect and I was having the time of my life.

"Oh baby, you're so tight..." Samuel moaned into my ear before kissing the back of my neck. He rested his hands on my hips. I had met Samuel a few weeks prior to the last time I had s*x with him. He had worked at the grocery store near my house. One day I saw him restocking soups and it was like I had an out of body experience. I thought he was beautiful and I couldn't keep myself away.

"Oh god... Sammy. Harder!" I had begged in a muffled voice due to my face being buried in the bed. Sam bit and sucked at the back of my neck before smacking my ass. We had fallen for each other so fast, it was almost a blur. I found that we were spending every evening together, never the morning.

"f**k, Cameron! You're so beautiful from behind and, s**t, I love you... s**t! I'm close!" He moaned while thrusting harder into me. The s*x was hot and wild every time, but that time it didn't last for long.

"Sam!" I heard a high girl's voice coming from downstairs. I reached back and grabbed Sam's hand, freezing in place. Sam didn't care much about his family coming home when we were going at it, but this time, he acted different.

"Who is that?" I had asked quietly.

"You have to go." Sam said while quickly pulling out of me. He seemed nervous as he climbed out of the bed.

"What? Why? I thought your family didn't care if we had s*x while they were home."

"Be f*****g quiet." He commanded while hurrying to the corner of the room where my clothes were piled. He threw the clothes at me aggressively, signifying that I needed to put them on.

"Sam, tell me what's wrong. Who is that?" I asked while pulling on my boxers.

"Quickly, um, get in the closet. " He ordered, the sound of fear increasing in his voice.

"I will once you tell me what's happening." I protested while pulling on my baseball t-shirt

"Sam?" The girl called, her voice getting closer. Suddenly, the door busted open just as I had gotten one leg into my sweatpants. An extremely tall, pretty girl with brown hair and green eyes was standing in the doorway, with a shocked look on her face.

"Who is this?" She asked, sounding very angry.

"I'm his boyfriend." I answered quietly, feeling like I was on trial. The girl and I both looked towards Sam, willing for him to say something.

"YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH A GUY?" She yelled in disbelief.

What? Is she his girlfriend?

"I'm sorry baby. You know I love you, but I'm just trying to figure out what else I'm into." Sam tried to explain away my existence in his life.

"You told me that you loved me. Oh god... you made love to me." I stated quietly.

"I could never love you, especially when my actual girlfriend is so amazing. You were an experiment and provided nothing for me, but a tight hole. Your personality is lack luster, and you're boring. I don't know how you were convinced that anyone could ever love you." Sam admitted to me while taking a step toward his real girlfriend.

How could I have fallen in love with someone so evil? Clearly my feelings are not to be trusted. I swear I'll never fall for another man. Not after my mind and body betrayed me like this.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea." I apologized to his girlfriend before heading to the door. I could feel the hot tears streak down my face. Sam's girlfriend grabbed my arm.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know. He played the both of us." She gave me a faint smile before pulling me out of the bedroom.

I'm done with boys, for good.

"Mia come back! I love you." Sam yelled after us as we walked down the stairs, heading for the front door.

"Take your love and shove it directly up your ass." She groaned in response.

"Let me buy you a coffee." Mia offered, trying to console me. I wiped the tears that were streaming out of my eyes and nodded silently.

Since then, I had deemed that lifestyle unworkable. I've, more or less, blocked out those memories, but today it couldn't be stopped. It was being replayed over and over in my head like a broken record. My first relationship with a boy had failed and spiraled me into the darkest time of my life. That's why I'm defensive regarding my sexuality. I don't want to go back to that, thus I haven't had feelings for a man since.

After splashing water onto my face, I exited the bathroom. I was going to sit back in the chair next to Taylor when I saw Shawn sitting in his lap, looking the most tired I've ever seen him. Taylor was comforting him when he sees me. He points down the hall to the room where Nash currently remained. I sighed and reluctantly headed to the holding room at the end of the hallway before opening the door quietly.

From what it looks like, Nash was asleep. I went and sat in the stool next to his bed, where Shawn had probably sat before me. The holding room was currently empty besides Nash, some kid who had fainted due to stress, and I. Stress kid was towards the other side of the room, near a window, sleeping as well.

Eventually I turned my attention towards Nash and just gazed at his pale face for what seemed like a very long time.

"Nash," I finally spoke quietly, "I'm sorry for how I treated you in that hallway. I f****d up. I overreacted, and it wasn't okay for me to say those awful things. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm a good person and if you wanted to be friends and squash whatever beef is between us, I'm willing to do that. If you never want to talk to me again, that's fine too." I mutter as I outstretch my hand into his bed. I brushed my fingers over his lightly. "I'm so f*****g sorry." My voice cracks. Nash's hand closed around mine. I leaned my head down against the bed he was lying in. I stayed in the same position for what felt like ten long minutes.

"I forgive you." Nash's voice came out raspy and almost inaudible. A small smirk played on his red lips.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I'm also on a lot of drugs right now." He chuckled dryly with half-closed, red-rimmed eyes.

"Sorry for waking you up." I sighed. He began to rub my hand gently by guiding his fingers over it. "I'll talk to you later." I began to stand up, but Nash stopped me. He sat up in the bed, clutching his forehead, probably suffering from a headache. His hand covered the gauze that was wrapped around his head. I leaned in quickly. "Are you okay?" I ask, checking to see if his head wound was bleeding.

"Yeah. Just a headache." He sighed. He looked up into my eyes before resting his hands on my face and pulling me in to kiss him. The kiss was short, but heavenly. Every part of him that made contact with my body was soft. My heart raced as I slowly pulled away from him. He leaned back in the bed and chuckled, his voice still raspy and quiet.

"I have to go." I mumbled, more to myself than to Nash.