LOOKING FOR HOPE

CHAPTER 16

Breakfast was weird, I kept on raising my eyebrows at Justin since he made it his goal to keep stealing glances at me, for some reasons I can't explain, but I'm certain that my dad has been acting weird, and Justin isn't left out, after the serious coughing session he had about 25 minutes ago, he has been acting weird, I'm not saying that stealing glances at someone is weird, but not when they have that look that says they are hiding something from you but unfortunately they can't hide it well, 

“ What " I whispered to Justin, he shakes his head, indicating that it was nothing, but it hasn't been 3 seconds he said that he went back to stealing glances at me, I rolled my eyes, he had better say what was on his mind 

“ So what do you think about your dream,” my dad ask avoiding my gaze

“ I don't know, what do you want me to think, I'm confused now” I groan, the thought of the dream and the caller from yesterday, seem to be giving me a headache, I just felt there was a missing puzzle in my life, I just couldn't figure it out, I'm just lost 

“ You might want to eat fast sweetie, you guys are running late”

 Mary said carrying her plates to the kitchen.

“ Ouch, I haven't even dressed up," I said, dropping my toast in my plate, and rushed upstairs, I roamed through my wardrobe looking for an outfit to wear for school, I felt my hand hit something hard inside my wardrobe, I brought it out and discovered it was the g*n I used when I still worked for my cousin Shelley, it still had few bullets in it, I smiled and brought it close to my lips, kissing it, on a second thought I could use it to scare those guys that have been stalking me, yea that is a good idea, plus I never missed my shot, so I'm definitely sure I wouldn't waste the bullet, I drag my bag lying on the bed and was about to put it inside, but I had a change of mind, I had this lingerie with a lace lap length socks, I could wear it and put the g*n inside and wear an A-line grown with ankle length boots, I shake my head in agreement that was a good idea, it's not bad if I decide to go all mafia from now, my life is in danger, and I'm not going to sit in silence,

“ Old habits die hard " I recognized the owner of the voice and turned 

“ What are you talking about,” I said, confused with what he said 

“ Your g*n, I never thought you were still going to use your g*n," he said coming inside fully, and seats on the only chair in my room, I looked at him a bit, he never thought I was still going to use my g*n, why do I feel like that sounded strange 

“ What made you think that I would use my g*n again, my life is being threatened and if it means putting this g*n in their head and blowing their brains out, then I would do that,” I said holding the g*n to my head demonstrating how I will blow their brains out 

“ I'm guessing that there are still bullets in that g*n,” he said giving me that look that says, it's a sorry for you if you blow your own brain out, but I'm not f*****g stupid I wouldn't do that, I rolled my eye at him 

“ What are you doing here anyway,” I said turning back to my wardrobe, I opened it and brought out a black A-line mini grown, then I blend low to take my blue boot out since I had my shoe rack filled with my shoes, I had to transform the down part of my wardrobe to store my shoe

“ Emm, I don't know, I just felt I should come over, especially since last night was awkward," he said Swiftly, I felt these unknown emotions, I turned and look at him, trying to read him, he had this sexy look on his face, or maybe I'm just the one imagining it, I shake my head, clearing it from silly thoughts, but my heart just couldn't stop beating fast, I must be crazy, definitely 

“ Can we discuss this outside, I need to dress up " I said trying to shift the topic, I watched as he left the room, I quickly wore the dress I picked, I pick the g*n from the bed and put it inside my the lingerie and left the room, rushing downstairs not wanting to delay my ride to school, which was definitely Justin, I have to convince him on dropping me back from school because right now I don't feel like driving, 

“ Hey let go,” I said to Justin, walking towards the door, as he stands up from the chair he was waiting for me on and followed me 

×× ×××× ××××× ××××× ×

“ Hello” I turned to face a girl with brown dyed hair and hazel eyes, I scanned her head to toe wondering who she was, she was definitely beautiful, I bet she was a model and if she's not she should be looking on one, but from her looks right now she was definitely no different from that orange-headed bimbo, April? , Right ?, I have even confirmed her name, the girl in front of me was wearing a six years old's white crop top exposing her fake t**s, and a very short white tight skirt with a yellow heel and a long yellow fur jacket, I'm assuming we came to learn here, except that today might be different for me if I see those stalkers because I will be gunning one down, but everything this girl wore screamed “f*****g expensive”, too expensive and extra for just coming to school, it's not like there is a fashion show at school, and it's definitely going to be an a*s show if she bends down with this short skirt she is wearing, I could wear my bag that skirt, and it will still be small

“ Done checking me out " she said, dryly, obviously stating it clearly that she wasn't a fan of me, and I hate my anti-fans, they tend to crawl on my nerves faster than does who is neither my fan nor anti-fan 

“ How many I help you ?” I asked, I crossed my hands and learn on my locker, ignoring what she just said,

“ I'm Natalie Richie,” she said giving me a fake smile and stretched her hand expecting me to shake her, which I clearly didn't respond, she's been here for 10 minutes and her face only says b***h, so there is no good to go all fake nice, 

The main word is “fake”

Because that smile was definitely a fake one 

“ Okay, Natalie," I said crossing my arms, with a no expression face, clearly ignoring her hands 

“ Yea, Natalie, the girl on Justin's bed yesterday, remember” she smirked wickedly, she was definitely here to be a b***h and I had to leave here if not one of the bullet from the g*n is going to end up on her fake t**s, I turned and open my locker, bringing out a menthol gum 

“ Okay," I said closing my locker and turned back facing her 

“ You will need this," I said throwing the Menthol gum on her and left, I stopped and entered the female toilet, okay, I know I was smart out there, and I had a good comeback, but I had to hold a lot of emotions, it felt like my chest was reaping into two, I had to blink several times, forcing myself not to cry, I just don't know but the kind of feeling I'm experiencing now is scaring me,

I shouldn't be feeling this way, I don't know why the thought of Natalie on Justin's bed makes me want to remove my g*n from where I was hiding it and shoot it in the air in anger, I washed my face, roll some tissue and clean my face properly and came out of the toilet, only to feel that strange feeling that someone was watching me 

I touched my lips to feel my g*n and walked towards the back of the schoolwear the fence was low and easy to jump, there were many bushy flowers there, I hid in one, watching and waiting for the person to come out. Having lost touch with me the person came out looking around for me, trying to figure out where I disappeared to, I took out the g*n from my laps, I squeeze my body properly behind the flowers making sure no one to see me,

I positioned the g*n in the direction of the stalker's leg and pulled the trigger, and the bullet went straight and hit his leg, and in shock, he quickly bends to touch the place I shot and fell down, he was probably in serious pain, tho I couldn't see his face because he was wearing a mask, I came out from my hiding place and walk to him, he was groaning in pain, I'm sure he is going to have a hard time walking, I got to where he was not caring to pull away from his masks, I bend and whispered a bit loud for him to hear, despite still groaning in pain 

“ Tell whoever sent you, that the next person he sends will get a shot on their f*****g head and I will enjoy it,” I said gritting through my teeth, not waiting for his reply, I stood up and kick him and was about to walk away 

“ That was f*****g hot " I turned to see Justin standing there with a big heart smile on his face, and my eye went down to his lips and for a second the red rosy lip got me carried away, I shake my head, clearing my head from every unwanted thought, I shouldn't be thinking of that

“ Since when have you been standing there,” I asked him, wondering for how long he was there, and he didn't say a word 

“ That was before you shoot him," he said still having that smile on his face, and I was finding it hard to control my heartbeat, I don't know why our friendship is getting out of control, I haven't known much about him, yet my spirit seems to be fond of him

“ Why are you here anyway,” I said turning to look at the stalker struggling to jump the fence to escape, 

fucking bastard,

He had better leave quickly before I kill him, I turned back to Justin who was smiling at me and was 1 foot away from me 

“ Don't enter me " I said pushing him back with my hands on his chest

“ I will love to,” he said grinning at me, I know that grin, it's a cocky one 

“ I bet Natalie will love it, I'm not f*****g interested " I spat out, getting angry for no reason, he looked at me raising his eyebrows at me 

“ Are you jealous?” he asked bending a bit low to be on the same height with, looking straight and deep into my eyes

“ Me?, what?, you must be joking,” I said Swiftly in one breath, avoiding eye contact with him, I don't even like him so why should I be jealous, I sprinted back inside the school-leaving Justin at the back of the school, I must be going insane, I rushed inside the female toilet, pacing about before I rushed to the tap again washing my face when I had the school bell, that was when I realized that I just missed my class, I groan in frustration.

********************

“ So Natalie, why did you decide to come back," min asked Natalie, she smiled, battering her eyelashes at Justin in a flirty way, I rolled my eye, it won't take me five seconds to dump my meal on her head if she disgusts me, highest it's going to end up as a food fight in the cafeteria, with tears running down her eye, I grin wickedly at the thought, I'm going to be really sweet having to do that 

“ Right nyinna,” Natalie said pulling me out of my thought, I gave her a confused look, trying to tell her I wasn't listening to her or her stupid trip to France, actually the only reason I haven't seen Natalie was because she was a transferred student for five months in France because of some business trip her dad went for, which she also followed him, and she claimed she came back because she missed Justin, I'm not the only one noticing she's pathetic right?

“ Sorry, you were talking to me? “I asked after which i pressed my lips with a slight frown, she sneers at me and rolled her eyes, I had to squeeze the handle of my backpack, stopping my self from doing something mean or wicked

“ Of course, you. “ She says curling her lips in disgust, I pursed my lips, contemplating if I should use my g*n on her, or I used just punch the hell out of her face. 

“ I said I was in Justin's room last night," she said, giving me a close-lipped smile, she told me already by my locker, why is she so obsessed about the fact that she was in Justin's room, the Justin in subject isn't even looking like he cares about her, his jaw was clenched, and he kept on removing her hands from his laps 

“ Stop this rubbish Natalie, you came to say hi, and you left, nothing happened,” he said slamming his fist on the table, he stood up, looking down at her, Noah pulled him down to sit back, he sat back glaring at her, while she kept my eye on me staring at me, and I stared back with equal intensity, and somehow it turned into an unannounced staring competition until Noah used his hand to block her view, making her to glare at him

She stood up with her chin up, shoulders back making her chest up, she looked at her escorts that followed her to our table, all of them looking like her wannabes

“ Nessa, Nicole, stand up, let's go girls,” she said glancing at me one more time, before flipping her hair as she left with her escorts, Making all of us watch her as she left the cafeteria, we sighed,

what a stress to humanity.

“ What with the tension between you and Natalie,” Clare asked furrowing her brow

“ I don't know she has been—

“ Hey Justin dear” I stop and look at April bending low slowly to kiss Justin till he used his hands to cover her lips making her stop 

“ I'm not interested, now f**k out” he growls, squinting his eyes shut -hard- for a moment before opening it, I narrow my eye locked on her with a tight lips, she glared at me and left 

“ Wow” I snarl, making everyone turn to me as I kept on playing with my finger, trying to pull out from the emotions I'm feeling, but it's not working

“I thought April, was basically the queen bee, I mean Nessa and Nicole are always following her like a dog, ” Clara said picking Noah's fries 

“ I guess it's because Natalie is always traveling, I heard she is now a travel model, she goes for tours, right?” Min said looking up from his phone since we came to the cafeteria.

“ yea, but Natalie and April are cousins, so they follow the both of them like dogs, " Justin said rolling his eyes

“ You seem to know much about them” I sneer 

“ Are you jealous?” he said giving me that smirk that says I know you are, I glare at him

“ I actually feel you like Justin,” Solomon said with a close-lipped smile, looking at me 

“ You mean him, " I asked pointing at Justin, crinkle my nose 

“ Someone that attract unnecessary bimbos, you know you just called me a bimbo," I said clenching my fist, I stood up and left the cafeteria,

Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me, even if I know I just don't want to accept it, because I can't, I didn't want to act like this, but this urge to be possessive and jealous just controlled me without giving me the strength to fight it. I entered inside the female toilet again, to wash my face for the third time under 4 hours all because of Justin, if I don't control myself I will end up coming here multiple times before we close.