I woke up from my dream like a fresh young man full of vigor. I made a loud chuckle when I discovered the generous outcome of my explosion that had dried out. It had covered parts of my n***d chest and upward to my neck; it clung to my skin like a paste. Recalling what transpired last night, it easily vanished the jubilation that I felt. It was only a dream, I told myself. The assurance I was giving myself that it was just a dream lacked the needed convincing to make me believe an iota of it. It was not a dream; it was a nightmare. It gave me what I had fancied and fantasized. In exchange, the shadow further increased my insecurities, anxieties and fears. The mind had a way of expunging itself from what it didn’t want to acknowledge exist, and so I put myself in a state of denial, never ac
