What does love look like ?

A BROKEN HEART

Claire walks back to her room with a lot on her mind

Claire’s POV

I went back into my room and immediately into the shower, I was so terrified of what Lawson would say when he gets here, I thought about what to say to him, and it made me even more nervous, I got out of the shower and got into the bed with my robe on, and after a few minutes of thinking I fell asleep

I woke up to my phone ringing, and looked at the time and it was 2pm already, I got six calls and a text from Lawson

“I’ll be at Nathan’s room, I don’t know why you are not taking my calls but I’m here when you’re ready to talk”

Then Fab called me twice and left a text saying she saw Lawson at the auditorium with so many emojis

Francesca also texted saying she hopes my conversation with Lawson goes well and she would love to see me after if I wanted to see her

I stood up from the bed and stared at the mirror for awhile, my eyes looked swollen from crying the whole morning, I had to find something to wear I thought and I went straight to my wardrobe and picked up a pink dress, I was not really fond of pink but it felt right today, I changed and tried to do something about my swollen eyes but it didn’t make much of a difference so I made peace with it and picked up my bag with my AirPods and wallet and left the room.

I walked through the hallway, making my way out of the hostel to the cafeteria, I wanted to get there and have a coffee before calling Lawson, I knew he was eager to have the conversation and I was too terrified of what he would say, I tried to have a positive energy towards it but it didn’t seem possible so I just had a cup of coffee and finally had the courage to call Lawson

“Hey I’m at the Cafeteria in from of my hostel, can you come here?“

For a moment he didn’t say anything and I wondered if anyone was on the other end of the phone

“Okay I’ll be there soon”

After another 15 minutes I saw Lawson walk in and my heart sank, he was my first love, and I had so many firsts with him, my first date, my first ever Christmas Eve as a girlfriend, my first couple’s trip, I knew I love him but I couldn’t stop thinking about Francesca, what was it about her that had me on a chokehold, I didn’t even know I could like a girl before her, now I cannot get her out of my mind.

I waved to my hand to get his attention so he could walk over to where I was, by one corner of the cafeteria and he took notice and walked towards my table, when he got to the table he stood and looked at me

“I’m not even going to get a hug” Lawson said

“Hey I’m sorry”

I stood up and gave him a hug and he kissed my forehead softly before saying “I’ve missed you” but I didn’t say anything, I just sat down and he sat opposite me

“I spoke to your mom yesterday”

“You did?”

“Yes she called and had some questions about her health”

I panicked a bit because I didn’t know my mom was sick

“I didn’t know she was sick” I said in shock

“Oh No she’s alright, it wasn’t anything serious, she is fine I promise”

“Oh okay, I spoke to her last week but I’ll call her again today”

“Yes you should” he responded

“Who’s she?”

He casually asked in the middle of our conversation about my mom

“We have literature together”

I didn’t want to say Francesca name or share much information about her because I didn’t want Lawson confronting her.

“She doesn’t have a name or are you going to hide her from me”

“It doesn’t matter, does it ?”

“No it doesn’t and I would like to move passed it but before that I want to know what exactly happened, I want you to be honest with me Claire”

“Okay, we kissed on the first day but on the second day it got a little s****l”

“You had s*x?”

“Nooo, I don’t even know how to do that”

“Then what was it Claire? What do you mean you got a little s****l?”

“She touched me”

“Where?”

“My body”

“Claire I need you to make a complete sentence, how did she touch you ?”

“She made me c*m”

Lawson’s face changed, he looked like he was about to burst into tears, and he didn’t say a word for at least a minute, he just stared at me

“So you liked it, do you like her?”

“I don’t know” I answered

“Claire, do you like her?” He asked again

I looked away from him, and thought of what to say, I knew I liked Francesca but I didn’t know if it was enough to ruin what I had with Lawson, and I could already tell he was heart broken but I knew I had to be honest with him too, he didn’t deserve this and it made me sick that I did this, that I put us in this situation, now what do I say

“I’m not sure”

“Okay, do you love me then?” He asked

“Ofcourse I do”

“Then we have nothing to worry about, you just have to stop talking to her”

“Stop?”

“Do you have a reason to not ?” He asked