What does love look like ?

WHATEVER YOU WANT

Claire and Fab did about a few miles of running, Fab was exhausted and stopped to catch her breath

Claire’s POV

I have been thinking about how I feel about Francesca, what exactly was this feeling, what was I supposed to do with it, and what was I thinking asking for that kiss, I wanted to blame the alcohol but I know that just gave me courage but the thought of kissing her had always been lingering and now I’ve had my kiss, I cheated on Lawson and I cannot stop thinking about how I was going to tell him, how would he feel, after three years, why now ?

My phone Rang from my pocket and I knew it was Lawson even before taking it out, it was the third time he was calling today and I couldn’t get myself to take the call, I turned around a saw Fab was behind, breathing so fast like she had fought an elephant, I walked back to her.

“Claire finally, I was trying to get your attention”

“Sorry I was lost in my thoughts”

“How many miles have we covered?, your mind should be as clear morning”

“I wish it worked like that” I said smiling at her

“Well maybe talking about it would help, don’t you think?”

“I’m not ready to talk about it”

My phone began ringing again, and I looked at it and it was Lawson again

“That’s like the third time your phone has rang today Claire, and I can easily guess who it is, why are you not talking his calls?”

“Okay I kissed someone else and now I can’t bring myself to pick up Lawson’s calls because what am I suppose to say to him”

Fab looked like she had just seen a ghost, her eyes were shining and her mouth hanging open the entire time I spoke

“Does he know ?”

“I haven’t told him yet”

“Okay good, good, do you love him ?”

“Of course I do, we’ve been together for three years”

“Claire I didn’t ask you how long you’ve been together, how do you feel about him?”

“As I’ve always felt, he has always been nice to me, never hurt me, I think I love him so”

“So why did you kiss someone else ?”

“I wanted to, and I know that sounds so stupid, how do you love someone and fall for someone else”

“Fall you say, Claire who is this person you’re falling for ?”

“I don’t want to tell you who it is right now”

“Fine, I respect that, but you need to talk to Lawson while you figure this out, ignoring him would only make him think there’s something wrong and make him worry Claire, you don’t have to tell him anything right now, just talk to him as you normally do”

“I don’t know how to do that, but I don’t want him to worry so I would call him when we get back to the hostel”

“Can we go back now?, it would take awhile so maybe we should start walking”

“Sure” I responded

Fab and I started making our way back to the hostel, and it gave me time to calm down and I decided I would talk to Lawson and when he comes I would be honest with him about Francesca, he should be here by Wednesday I thought, that’s not such a long time I decided, but do I need to have a conversation with Francesca, I didn’t want her to feel like she did anything wrong, I asked for it.

We got to the entrance of the hostel, and walked down the hallway to our room, lucky for me I didn’t bump into Francesca, I wasn’t ready to have that conversation or any awkward interaction and Fab didn’t know so I’d rather not bump into her while I was with Fab, not right now I thought.

I got into the room and I rushed into the bathroom took a long shower while listening to Frank Ocean and I felt a little calm. I was done showering, had my bathrobe on and make my way out of the bathroom into the room there she was sitting on Fab bed, God No.

“Claire, I and Francesca are going to watch the school band at the stadium and you’re coming with us, no excuses”

“I don’t know any of their songs”

“Oh me too, what does it matter, I’m going to get into the shower quickly, find something gorgeous to wear”

“Fab walked into the bathroom”

“Hey” Francesca spoke once Fab was completely out of sight

“Is it okay if you don’t tell anyone about the kiss yet?, I want to tell Lawson first”

“Of course, I don’t kiss and tell Claire so it’s completely fine”

“Well I guess you don’t, you probably have a lot of people you kiss, wouldn’t want us getting acquainted”.

Francesca walked up to me and I tried to move away and she got even closer

“Claire I don’t know what you want, you asked for a kiss and then acted like it never happened, and now you’ve asked me not to say a word of it to anyone and I obliged, and now it seems like you want me to, tell me what you want and I’ll do it”

For a second I looked into her eyes and she looked like she meant it, I moved away from her towards my wardrobe to find something to wear

“You want space clearly so I’ll give you space”

Francesca said as she walked out of the room

After a minute Fab was out of the bathroom

“Where is Francesca?”

“She left”

“What do you mean she left, left to where ?”

“I don’t know” I responded focused on looking through my wardrobe for what to wear

“Well it don’t matter, she prolly went to get something from her room, let’s get dressed and go meet her, there’s no way she left without us”

I felt very uneasy about her saying she was going to give me space but it is probably for the best.