Lovescape

Chapter 4

At six that evening, Rosalind stood in front of the cracked looking glass in her tiny whitewashed room, studying her appearance critically. She wore a new royal blue dress she had just sewn for herself. The color accented the blue-black highlights in her hair, which she had styled in a loose upsweep that waved softly around her face. The cut of the gown maximized her narrow waist and shapely little bust—she had acquired a new appreciation of it in the last year—but even with the bustle, she still looked too skinny.

“This is terrible,” she murmured under her breath. She had spent the last year mooning over Vidal like a ninny, and in a misery of unexpressed emotion, had eaten even less than before. Her bare arms looked thin and fragile as twigs, and the tiny curve of her bottom had been rendered almost non-existent. “I more resemble a boy than a woman in her prime.”

Critically, she examined her face. Night after night of sleepless tossing had left her with bruised shadows under her eyes. “I look like a waif altogether. It’s hopeless.”

Her shoulders sagged. “I’ll have to content myself with enjoying the evening, and my promised dance with Vidal, and not worry about being pretty.”

The thought of his arms around her again sent a delicious shiver through her body. For good measure, she tossed a black shawl over her shoulders and went to meet the other servants.

They were a chatty, comfortable bunch, always full of good-natured gossip. Sometimes it was quite entertaining, and it was always a good way to learn more colloquial Spanish, but tonight, Rosalind struggled to pay attention to their chatter. All she could think about was the look Vidal had given her in his office earlier. It had smoldered with passion.

He still desires me. I know it, but it’s too much to hope I will ever be his love. I’m not willing to engage in a casual affair with him. To do so would cause irreparable damage to the respect that forms the foundation of our friendship, a possibility I will not entertain. If I cannot be his love, I will be his friend, and that shattering night a year ago will remain a delicious secret memory we share. Why would he want more from me?

He still desires me. I know it, but it’s too much to hope I will ever be his love. I’m not willing to engage in a casual affair with him. To do so would cause irreparable damage to the respect that forms the foundation of our friendship, a possibility I will not entertainIf I cannot be his love, I will be his friend, and that shattering night a year ago will remain a delicious secret memory we share.Why would he want more from me?Carmen was beautiful and curvaceous with thick, curly black hair, flashing black eyes, and an aristocratic demeanor. Though she was only a secretary’s daughter, she carried herself like a princess. Vidal loved that about her. He said so on more than one occasion. Carmen is also Spanish to the core, not a skinny English stray.

Carmen was beautiful and curvaceous with thick, curly black hair, flashing black eyes, and an aristocratic demeanor. Though she was only a secretary’s daughter, she carried herself like a princess. Vidal loved that about her. He said so on more than one occasion. Carmen is also Spanish to the core, not a skinny English stray.Quite suddenly, Rosalind realized she was wallowing in self-pity. Her chances of having Vidal for herself were slim, but she would never be able to try if she spent all her time feeling sorry for herself. Vidal likes lively, vital women. I should aim for that since beauty is beyond me.

Vidal likes lively, vital women. I should aim for that since beauty is beyond me.The cart in which they rode went over a deep rut in the dusty trail and everyone was thrown about. One local bumpkin fell partially across her, dragging his arm over her breasts and creasing her dress. She glared at him until he scrambled away.

By the time they reached the pavilion, a crowd had already gathered. Murmuring breezes filtered between the fields and groves, cooling the heat of the day. Though not yet full dark, torches on long stands had been placed around the perimeter of the clearing, and sporadically throughout, to lend the best possible light for dancing. And there would be plenty of dancing.

Vidal’s business associates from Cádiz, Seville and Jerez had been there for at least an hour already, sipping wine and relaxing. The musicians and cooks had been setting up and tuning longer still. The servants around Rosalind bounded out of the cart, intent on feasting and dancing until dawn. Last year’s festival had been canceled abruptly, and this year they intended to celebrate twice as much to make up for it.

Rosalind wandered slowly across the clearing, eventually finding Claudia Gongora, a plump matron in her fifties with silver streaks in her glossy black hair and a stern expression, protecting the dessert table from flies and children. She was certainly capable of the job. She would keep the children from making themselves sick gorging on sweets, but her soft heart would ensure even the smallest and weakest of them got something.

Rosalind adored Claudia. When she had arrived in Spain, heartbroken and alone, providence had led her to the inn the matron ran with her husband Blas. Both were able to speak a little English, due to their frequent exposure to foreign visitors, and Claudia always knew what was going on, not only in Cádiz but in many of the farther regions of Spain. It was she who had heard of a position in the kitchen of Vidal’s estate five hours away near Jerez and encouraged Rosalind to enquire. They were frequent correspondents now, and whenever business took Vidal and his secretary to the coast, she was able to reconnect with the kind woman who had helped her so much. Rosalind had never had a mother, but she often felt Claudia would have been a good one to have.

“Hola, Claudia,” she said softly

“Hola, Rosalinda,” the woman replied, smiling. “¿Cómo estás?”

“Bien, bien. ¿Y tú?” Rosalind replied.

“Bien. I haven’t heard from you in ages, mijita.” The woman set down her spoon and patted Rosalind’s hand.

“I know. Vidal has me working in his office now. It keeps me so busy, along with my other duties, that I’ve quite let my friendships falter. I’m sorry.”

Claudia raised her eyebrows at Rosalind’s casual use of Vidal’s Christian name but said nothing. “I have hardly seen him either,” Claudia said after a moment. “How has he been taking…you know…everything?”

Rosalind couldn’t help but smile. “Better than you might expect. He was very sad at first, of course, but now he seems almost back to normal.”

“Y tu, mijita? Are you still in love with him?”

Rosalind sighed. “More than ever. The more time I spend with him, the worse it gets. I feel like a fool, like a fish pining away for a bird, but I can’t seem to help myself.”

“You and he are not as far apart as you think,” Claudia told her, “after all, Carmen was the daughter of a clerk, a working-class woman, and thus not much higher in position than you are. Vidal is not a nobleman, and even if he were, I don’t think that he would worry overly much about your station.”

“I’m not even Spanish, Claudia,” Rosalind protested. “What can I offer him?”

“If you think that a man like Vidal would be more interested in nationality than personality, you don’t know him very well,” the older woman replied, her lips pursed.

“But he hasn’t even noticed me. Not in all these years.” Well, that isn’t true, but I have no intention of telling Claudia about that one shattering night.

Well, that isn’t true, but I have no intention of telling Claudia about that one shattering night“Perhaps you are too visible,” her friend suggested. “He sees you every day, for hours at a time, if I’m not mistaken. You have become so much a part of his existence that he is accustomed to you. That speaks of a powerful bond if someone can get him to notice it.”

“But how do I do that?” Rosalind asked, desperate for some suggestions.

“Maybe you don’t,” Claudia replied. “Maybe someone else, someone not in the midst of the situation, will make some offhand comment about how comforting it must be to have someone around who loves him so very much.”

“Don’t you dare, Claudia!” Rosalind’s cheeks flamed, “I would die of embarrassment.”

“Only if it didn’t work,” the older woman pointed out.

Rosalind held up one hand. “The risk is too great. Promise me you won’t say anything!”

Claudia raised one dark eyebrow. “If you never take risks, you’ll never accomplish anything,” the matron reminded.

Rosalind shook her head. “I don’t want to lose his friendship, Claudia. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable around me.”

“Very well, I won’t mention it, but if he asks me, I won’t lie to him.”

“I seriously doubt that he will ask.”

“You never know.” Claudia waggled her eyebrows.

“It still surprises me,” Rosalind said, “how you have encouraged me to press for him. Didn’t you want him to marry Carmen? After all, you’ve known her since childhood.”

“Yes, I did once want them to marry,” Claudia replied. “He would have been good for her, but Carmen is gone now. She married the man she loved, and Vidal is still a good man and deserves a good woman. I think in a way you might be a better choice for him. He was good for her, but you are good for him. You will never sigh and wish he was someone else. You will never lead him on. If he ever figures out what he has, you will make a very fine couple.”

“Pray for a miracle, Claudia,” Rosalind urged.

“I do, niña. Every day. Now you had better go take your turn at the spit, or you may find yourself roasting on it.”

* * *

Claudia smiled as Rosalind wandered away, then set her mind toward figuring out how to get Vidal to ask. A few minutes later, the question was taken out of her hands. Vidal walked up to her as though examining the sweets.

“Now, now, young man,” Claudia said, “You may not be a child, but I’ll not let you eat dessert before dinner either. You’re not so big I can’t whack you.” She waved her spoon menacingly and smiled.

Vidal laughed. “I’m not interested in your sweets, Señora. I have a question to ask you.”

“Ask away.”

“I have a bit of a dilemma,” Vidal began, shifting his weight from foot to foot with discomfort. “I owe Rosalinda a great deal. In the last year, she has been a constant friend and support.” His cheeks flamed beyond what his words warranted.

Claudia narrowed her eyes, wondering what he was so embarrassed about.

He pressed on. “I don’t know how I would have gotten through without her. I would like to give her some gift to show my appreciation, but I don’t know what she likes. Can you help me?”

Claudia paused to ponder. “Rosalinda is the kind of woman who likes sentimental things. If you give her something you value, she would appreciate it greatly.”

“I know that,” he replied, waving a fly away from the table with one hand, “but I want to give her something she likes, something she wants.”

sheshe“Don Vidal, there is only one thing that Rosalinda wants in this world. Do you think you are prepared to give it to her?” Claudia gave him a wry, speaking look.

“So, she has talked to you. I had hoped she would.” He leaned forward eagerly. “I think I would give her anything in my power. What does she want?” His eyes flashed.

Hmmm, Claudia thought. There’s more here than just a debt of gratitude. She decided to take the risk. “She wants you. Don Vidal, you are a wise man in many ways, but where Rosalinda is concerned, you are blind. If you want to make her happy, ask her to marry you.”

Hmmm, There’s more here than just a debt of gratitude.Vidal’s mouth snapped shut with a loud clicking of teeth.

“Come now,” Claudia scolded, “surely you didn’t let something this important escape your notice?”

“But I can’t do that,” he said finally. He ran his hand nervously through his hair.

“Why not?” she asked, gesturing with her spoon. “Think, Vidal. It has been a year since Carmen left. You should marry someone. You need a wife, and there’s not a woman around who will be better for you than Rosalinda. She loves you. Think about it.”

* * *

Vidal walked away slowly, his mind full. I really did let a great deal escape me if what she’s saying is true. He had to admit, it fit. He hadn’t noticed, focused as he had been on his own troubles. Or rather, he’d noticed something, but hadn’t taken the time to put it all together.

I really did let a great deal escape me if what she’s saying is true. The more he considered the idea, the more appealing it became. Why on earth should I not marry her? She is a kind woman, a loyal friend. That’s a valid basis for marriage. Then I can have free access to her luscious body as well. A jolt in his groin informed him of its agreement with the idea.

Why on earth should I not marry her? She is a kind woman, a loyal friend. That’s a valid basis for marriage. Then I can have free access to her luscious body as well. As for her loving me, well I can’t think about that. I can begin courting her though. Find out if she’s truly interested in a more official connection.

As for her loving me, well I can’t think about that. I can begin courting her though. Find out if she’s truly interested in a more official connection.Yes, I’ll begin tonight. He didn’t realize it, but the thought had brought a strange smile to his lips.

Yes, I’ll begin tonight.