AGAIN MY HEART: Her Alphas Regret

GOOD FOR MY HEART?

LEILANI

“I can’t believe I’m really doing this,” I grumbled as I stared at the dresses I had laid out on the bed.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this either.” Vector’s voice carried an air of amusement behind me as he stepped into the room.

“Don’t even start,” I grumbled, still glaring at him as he settled on the bed.

He was the only one amongst my younger brothers that I could trust to actually help decide on a good choice of what to wear. He was more fashion-forward than Juno and Rain. Those two relied on the palace maids for what to wear. Vector was very particular about what he wore, and the minute I became hesitant about what to wear, I shot him a quick message asking for his help.

“What do you mean, don’t start? If I don’t start, who will? A lot needs to be started,” he rebuffed, ignoring my glare.

“Vector, I don’t have time for your probing. Help me pick something. I am losing my mind, and I am at the end of my wit that I might just call the whole thing off.”

That had him springing up on his feet. “Oh hell no, you’re not calling anything off. Do you know how long we’ve all prayed for a day like this? We were so damn tired of the agonising slow burn you and Eystein had going on that I was tempted to lock you both up in a room and throw the key away. You’re not calling this off. This is your first date in… I don’t know, have you ever been on a date?” The excitement in Vector’s voice dwindled as he asked with a frown.

I collapsed on the bed with a sigh. “I’ve never dated. So, no, I’ve never been on a date. This would be my first. And if things go well, he will also be my first boyfriend,” I admitted as I buried my face in the silk sheets.

Vector was silent for a moment before joining me on the bed. “Avi’s dad, wasn't he like your boyfriend or something? Sorry if it’s a touchy subject, and it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

I shook my head and sighed. “It’s been almost four years since him. Avi is three now. I’m fine. To answer your question, he wasn’t my boyfriend.”

Truth is, except for my parents, I never really told anyone else how Avi came to be.

Even my parents didn’t know the whole truth. I didn’t tell them about Aesir being the Alpha King of Eitbjorn or that he was my mate. I only told them I had foolishly believed an Alpha who said he was in love with me, and when I fell pregnant, he paid me to get rid of it. I did mention that he was insanely wealthy.

As for my siblings, they never asked but knew it was a testy subject. Perhaps Pa and Ma told them never to ask. Who knows, but that never changed how they saw and treated Avi.

“He was… you’re the only person I’ve ever said this to, so keep this to yourself. If I hear it from either Juno, Rain, Ma or Pa, I’ll know you were the one who told them," I warned him.

“You have my words. Cross my heart. Thank you for trusting me with the truth.”

I nodded.

“He was my mate. Ma and Pa don’t know that. I only told them he was someone I had a fling with. Well, what transpired between us was a fling in every sense. I met him in the palace during one of my many jobs. He came to me later that evening, while I was cleaning one of the guest rooms. I think the mate bond might’ve clouded my judgment that day because it felt like his presence triggered my heat or something. Anyway, we had sex.”

Vector’s mouth moved. “Oh, and you were eighteen then?” He asked.

“Yeah, three days after I turned eighteen. He was my first and actually my only experience. After that first time, he would show up randomly at my different jobs and every encounter ended with us having s*x. He never stayed long enough for a conversation, never asked how I was doing. Thinking back now, he never asked what my name was.”

Vector stared at me with his mouth open. “You had s*x with him every time he came to you?” I nodded. “And you never shared a word? Never told him no?” I shook my head at his question. “And was he never curious about you? Never tried to get to know?”

I sighed because all his questions were valid, and looking back now, I realise how insanely foolish I was. “I never said no, because I thought if he kept coming, it meant he wanted me, and I thought I could keep him that way. It felt good to believe that an Alpha like Aesir would want me. So even though I thought it was a little odd that we never shared any conversation, I never turned him down. I thought over time he'd realise that I am good, and we’d, I don’t know, advance from there? I was extremely naive. I was an omega in a kingdom where I’d been treated like an outsider, and suddenly this powerful Alpha who was my mate kept seeking me out, kept finding me no matter where I was. When it started, it didn’t matter to me that all he came for was s*x. In my head, he wanted me.”

Vector’s eyes were misty with softness and unshed tears as he gazed at me. “He made you feel special in a place where everyone treated you differently.”

I nodded. That was it. I had thought, perhaps, it meant I was special.

“I should’ve known that just because Aesir kept coming didn’t mean he wanted me. He just needed a body, and I was easy.”

“You have no blame for what transpired between you two. You were the vulnerable one. You were an omega, and that Alpha took advantage of you. He took advantage of a vulnerable omega. He knew what he was doing.”

I shrugged. “I wasn’t saying no.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you were taken advantage of.”

“I guess.”

“Wait… You said the Alpha’s name was Aesir. You said, ‘an Alpha as powerful as Aesir’. That name…”

Oh boy.

I closed my eyes, and I bit back a groan. I should know that Vector would catch onto that. He was the smartest of the triplets.

“Is Avitaj’s father Alpha King Aesir? Aesir Stargorn, the King of Eitbjorn?” Vector asked with wonder and shock in his voice.

I let out a drawn-out groan as I buried my face into the mattress. So much for wanting to keep that tiny truth a secret. “If you ever breathe a word of this to anyone,” I pointed a finger at Vector with a stern glare.

“I would never dare. It isn’t my truth to share. I was completely caught off guard when I heard the name and realised it sounded very familiar.”

“Yes, he is. He is Avi’s father. But he didn’t want him. My aunt kicked me out after finding out I was pregnant, and when I eventually found where Aesir lived, I went to him. He denied ever being with me, ever touching me. Even when I told him I was pregnant, he told me to find the father of the bastard I was carrying. I threatened to go to his royal court, and that was when he wrote me a cheque of fifty million Lykos to get rid of the baby and to never show up in front of him again.”

“What the f**k! What an arsehole.” Vector exclaimed.

I nodded. “Well, he’s a real bastard. Anyway, that’s about any experience I have with men and Alphas.”

“And that was why you kept turning Eystein down?” Vector added, and I nodded.

“But he’s persistent, and I guess I’ll give it to him. These past six months, he’s almost proved that he could be different. You should’ve seen his face when I agreed to go on a date with him.”

Vector laughed. “I bet he probably screamed and jumped with joy. You made him miserable for two years.”

“He was annoying,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

After that incident in the pavilion when I yelled at him, Eystein had taken a step back.

He stopped coming to the palace even though he still maintained a friendship with my parents. A month after that unpleasant encounter, I had received flowers and a letter. Inside the letter was a handwritten apology from him. Apologising for being an inconvenience to me in the past year.

The letters kept coming, with different flowers and small bites each time. In each letter were different forms of apologies. I had soon realised that every letter was an apology for every time he’d crossed paths with me, either at business functions, in the palace, or at my parents' company, where he might’ve made me uncomfortable.

Something about him remembering every single time our paths crossed had tugged at my heart. Three months after the letters started coming, I wrote him a response. And somehow we began communicating through letters, became friends, and now I was going on my first date with him.

I still don’t know if I’m making the right choice, but it’s been four years since my unfortunate fate with Aesir, and I think it’s time to give myself the chance to live outside the horrible experience he created.

“Eystein is a good Alpha,” Vector murmured, his voice pulling me out of my head.

“So I’ve heard,” I responded with a smile.

“And he’s good with Avi.”

“Well, Avi is a social butterfly who everyone loves.”

“But you can’t deny that Eystein is especially good with Avi.”

“I guess…. We have enough time to figure out if he’s also good for my heart in the long run.”

Vector nodded, then jumped off the bed. “Come…” he leaned over, pulling my arm to drag me out of bed. “I know what would look absolutely perfect on you for this date. Let’s go to your dressing room.”

I don’t argue with him as I let him drag me through the door of my bedroom into the connected room that serves as my dressing room.

I hope I’m not choosing wrong this time.