Seven
2848 Words
Simon Cloud
I can't stop thinking about her..
I'm on my bed, it's freaking 3 o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep.
Kinailangan kong umalis agad sa party dahil baka hindi ko na mapigilan na hindi siya kunin kay Marj.
Kahit gustong gusto ko siyang makasama..kahit na alam ko sa sarili ko na siya lang ang gusto ko--heck I have never felt this towards anyone else before---the reality is still staring me in the face.
I am already spoken for.
Kinuha ko yung cellphone ko at napag desisyunang i-text si Cara. Nakakagago nga dahil pinasimplehan ko pang kunin yung number niya sa phone ni Sebastian.
Kailangan kaming magkausap para makahingi ako ng tawad sakanya.
I have to end this or else we'll both get hurt and it's much better that she doesn't. Okay ng ako na lang ang masaktan, after all hindi ko na madedeny na inlove na ako sakanya.
_______________________
To: Sweet Sexy Thing
We nd 2 talk bout wt happnd.
Can we meet 2mrw?
-Cloud
_______________________
I sighed,then hit send.
-------
Caroline Elora
"You're not really going to tell me what happened there huh?" May himig ng tampo ang boses ni Marj ng makarating na kami sa bahay.
Plano kasi naming mag sleep over the whole weekend. Susunod na lang si Victoria bukas dahil nga hindi na siya nakumbinsi ni Sebastian na sumama kanina sa party.
"I will, it's just..too crazy to even think about it right now. Okay lang ba Marj na sarilihin ko muna?" I looped my arm around hers sighing heavily.
"Okay. Maliligo muna ako. I smell like a bar." Ngumiwi pa ito.
"Okay, you'll love my new body wash." I shouted when she entered my bathroom.
"Oh my God!!!" Narinig ko ang pagtili niya. Pareho kasi kaming super addict sa scented body wash, kami na nga yatang dalawa ang sobrang hilig magbabad sa tub. Actually kahit anong scented--ballpen, papel, candles, shampoo, body wash etc.
"You're welcome!" I giggled, then I heard a knock on the door.
"What's wrong?" Binuksan ko ang pinto at humarang dito.
Nakatayo sa labas sina mom and dad na nag aalala ang mga mukha.
"We heard shouting dear.." My mommy was holding her chest.
"Oh, sorry about that mommy, daddy. Alam niyo naman si Marj nababaliw pag may bagong body wash. She has gone hysterical sa banyo nung nakita yung bagong bili mo mom." I giggled.
Daddy just shook his head. "Sometimes I don't know why you teens are like that these days. You girls go crazy over frozen yogurt or something." He chuckled.
"Hayaan niyo na kami dad. Besides hindi pa tapos ang girls night. Please don't harass us." Nginitian ko sila.
"Alright we'll go back to bed, but young lady, is that alcohol I smell?" My mom raised an eyebrow.
"Yes mommy, but I'm not drunk I swear. Isang baso lang po." Well, not really drunk on alcohol but on Cloud, definitely drunk on Cloud.
Sumimangot si daddy pero tinapunan naman ito ni mom ng tingin.
"I trust you Cara. Just always be careful dear." Mom said.
"And don't ever try ditching your security detail. We don't want that to happen again. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko pag nawala ka nanaman." Daddy said calmly.
"Okay. Goodnight parents. Love you both." I blew kisses in the air.
"Goodnight dear. We love you too.." Sabay din nilang sabi.
Kukuha na sana ako ng damit ng narinig ko ang pag vibrate ng phone ko.
_______________________
From: +639564758475
We nd 2 talk bout wt happnd.
Can we meet 2mrw?
-Cloud
_______________________
"Seriously?" I sighed.
Akala ko pa naman makakatulog na ako ngayon ng maayos. I saved his number then decided to reply na lang.
_______________________
To: Cloud
Fine.
But mke it Sunday.
_______________________
_______________________
From: Cloud
Thnk you.
Wer do u wnt me to pck u up?
_______________________
Naisip kong dito na lang sana sa bahay mag pasundo sakanya, kaso baka i insist ni Daddy na makilala siya. Ayoko namang mangyari yun lalo na at alam ko ang ugali ni dad. Besides, ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano kami ni Cloud, I can't consider him my friend kasi friends don't kiss like that diba?
Plus the fact that it's my daddy we're talking about, he'll probably make him cry or something.
_______________________
To: Cloud
Just txt me the deets I'l meet u there.
Goodnyt.
_______________________
-------
Simon Cloud
My original plan was just to talk to Cara and end whatever it is that is happening between us.
Pero nung nagdadrive na ako palabas ng Imperial Grande patungo sa abandonadong Shipyard ng mga Lumineer, tumigil ako sa isang stall--dito kasi nagrerenta ang carnival pag malapit na ang fiesta.
Para itong souvenir shop at madamin itong tinda na kung ano ano. Since located sa may dagat ang shipyard, madami ding nagtitinda at nagpaparenta ng skimboards dito. Nahagip ng tingin ko ang isang silver bracelet na may mga starfish.
It reminded me of Cara.
I don't know why but I've always thought that starfish are the happiest creatures in the ocean and I have no scientific support to back it up, but that's just what I want myself to believe in.
Meron kasi kaming malaking aquarium sa bahay and my mother is always fond of the sea life, and when I say malaking aquarium, I meant it resembles that of the one at the Dubai Mall.
I want Cara to be happy.
I want to be selfish and be happy with Cara.
Tang ina, hindi ko na alam.
Kanina pa ako nakatayo dito sa likod ng carnival malapit sa isang abandonadong barge habang hinihintay siya.
I don't know if she's still coming or not.
"Seriously?" I turned around and found her standing behind me, wearing her usual hoodie and her hair is up in a pony. "You really had to choose the shipyard for us to talk?" Her hands are on her waist, clearly pissed.
Ang cute lang.
"Hello to you too." Hindi ko mapigilang tumawa at lumapit sakanya. "Tara snack muna tayo may pinareserve akong pagkain doon sa isang stall."
I took her hand and she reluctantly walked with me.
Damn, ang sarap hawakan ang kamay niya.
I didn't know what food she likes so I asked for at least three of every kind.
I noticed Cara adjusting her glasses which means she's nervous or something.
"Sana magustuhan mo." I smiled at her, ignoring the rapid beating of my heart.
The server keeps on eyeing her kaya sinamaan ko yun ng tingin.
"Ang dami naman nito Cloud, sandali, date ba ito?" Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay, clearly confused.
Hell, I'm confused too.
"I don't know. Can we just eat first? I haven't slept and I haven't eaten since yesterday. Can you please eat with me?" I said almost whispering, and I couldn't help but touch her hand again.
"Okay." I can see the confusion in her eyes and I am thankful that she didn't remove my hand on hers.
Tang ina Simon umayos ka.
-----
Pagkatapos naming kumain, inaya ko siyang maglibot libot sa carnival para makapag usap kami ng walang awkwardness.
I placed my hand at the small of her back and guided her around. I noticed that she was taking out her camera and adjusting its settings.
"Smile,Cloud." She pointed the lens towards me then took a snap. "Nakanganga ka dito!" She giggled showing me the photo on the lcd.
Napangiti na lang ako sa playfulness niya.
"Tara, upo muna tayo doon sa may shore." Kinuha ko yung kamay niya---yung malalambot niyang kamay na parang ayoko ng bitawan at naupo na kami sa may dalampasigan.
"Okay, you said we needed to talk." Dumistansiya siya ng konti sakin at sinimulang ilagay sa bag niya yung camera."Now, talk."
My hand found its way on hers and we both looked down on our hands clasped together.
"This is unbelievable.." I shook my head then chuckled.
Tiningnan niya lang ako ng naguguluhan, hell pareho lang kami ngayon ng nararamdaman.
My chest is pounding like hell, the chemistry between us is undeniable.
----
Caroline Elora
"Sabihin mo na."Binawi ko ang kamay ko sakanya, inadjust ang salamin ko and folder my arms against my chest.
Masyado itong pull sa pagitan namin.
Kailangan ko ng space.
He's giving me mixed signals at sobrang naguguluhan na ako kung ano ba talaga ang gusto niyang mangyari.
This is too much.
Cloud is confusing the hell out of me. He said that he didn't want me, then he thinks that he's in love with me?
"Cara, I came here to stop this," He picked up a pebble then threw it on the sea.
So, eto pala ang plano niya.
He's already decided.
Atleast may closure kami
Tumango ako sakanya.
"Okay. There's nothing to stop anyways. I told you last time, whatever this is has already ended before it even began." I tried to reply calmly.
Alam ko namang may mangyayari na ganito. Marj has already warned me about him noon pa man. Hindi naman ako naive that he thinks would fall for his charms then be a doormat.
Still, masakit pa din yung sinabi niya. Pero okay na to na maagang natapos bago pa man ako mainlove sakanya at masaktan niya ako ng tuluyan.
Right?
"Ayaw kitang saktan, Cara." He tried to reach for my hand but I refused to let him touch me. "Fuck." He instead raked his fingers on his hair and muttered a curse.
"I understand Cloud. But pain is inevitable." Ngumiti ako ng mapakla sakanya tapos bumaling sa maalon na dagat. "Kung wala ka ng gusto pang sabihin, aalis na ako.
I waited for a minute then stood up when he did not respond.
"Goodbye Cloud." This time, I meant it.
I had to get out of there. I always believed I was strong willed. Kahit hindi pa man ako nagkakaroon ng boyfriend or flings dati, alam ko namang masasaktan ako pag naexperience ko yun.
And I'd have to thank Blair Waldorf and Peyton Sawyer for being right. That people always leave, that destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.
So, itong kay Cloud?
It is not destiny, and I am not looking for an excuse to have my happy ending.
Ako lang ang magdedesisyon kung anong klaseng happy ending ang gusto ko.
But who are you kidding Cara?
-----
Simon Cloud
"Goodbye Cloud." Cara said then walked away.
Gusto kong paulanan ng suntok ang sarili ko. Alam kong tama ang ginagawa kong pero walang kasing sakit.
Somehow letting her go means letting a part of me go too.
If this is really what love feels like then it f*****g sucks and whoever invented it should be ran down by a panzer.
"f**k!" Dumukot ako ng buhangin at itinapon ito sa dagat.
I have to go after her.
Kaya tumakbo ako.
Nasabi niya kanina na nagdrive siya papunta dito kaya dumiretso ako sa may parking space.
I took out my phone and tried to call her habang inililibot ang mata sa paligid.
"Pick up come on.." I muttered. "Pick up please.." It just kept on ringing.
Then I spotted her entering a black classic convertible mustang. Even her taste in cars leaves me in awe.
Tumakbo ako palapit doon at tumigil mismo sa harap nito.
"What the hell Cloud??" Namumula ang mga mata ni Cara at alam kong umiiyak siya base na rin sa boses nito.
She was f*****g crying and I did that to her!
"Tang ina, ang gago mo." I said to myself then walked towards the door of her car. "I'm not ready to say goodbye yet." My voice was raspy, all the emotions that I am feeling are curled into a huge ball threatening to burst out anytime now.
Inalis niya ang salmin niya at pinunasan ang mga pisngi. Tumingala siya sakin na naghihintay ng sasabihin ko.
Shit.
She's even more beautiful without her glasses. Her grey eyes are darker from crying and her cheeks are flushed.
I hate that I made her cry.
Ang gago ko talaga.
"Cara.." I couldn't form a word and I was afraid she might drive away so I leaned down, placed my hand at the back of her head and kissed her, and it felt so right.
Kissing her is life altering.
I have never kissed someone that affected me in more ways than one.
Kissing her is everything.
"Please be with me..Gusto ko.." I whispered against her lips.
"Anong bang gusto mong mangyari Cloud?" I know she's hurting & I will hurt her more.
I f*****g hate myself for being selfish right now.
I opened her door, pulled her up and hugged her tight.
She feels so soft, so small yet just perfect for my arms to wrap around with.
"You Cara. I just want you. Ikaw lang. Ikaw lang. Please be with me." I gritted my teeth knowing that I'm just adding fuel to the fire.
Pero ano nga bang magagawa ko?
Siya talaga ang gusto ko.
Siya lang.
I felt my eyes began to water and I don't even f*****g care if I cry like a little girl in a public place.
She's it for me.
And with that realization, I know there can never be anyone else.
I kissed the top of her head then placed my hands on her cheeks so that I can look at her.
"May tiwala ka ba sakin Cara?" Tinanong ko siya.
She didn't reply, she's just looking into my eyes.
"Cara, do you trust me?"I asked again, this time she blinked.
"Yes." She whispered."You're crying..bakit?" she wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Because I love you Cara. And I am not letting this go."I smiled and leaned my head on hers.
"But?" She asked again.
"But I need you to trust me. Give me until after graduation to sort things out." I know that this is a life altering moment, and I need to talk to my father soon to let him know that I don't want to get married to his comrade's daughter.
He's an honorable man at alam kong maiintindihan niya ako. I just need the right words and the right moment to talk to him.
Nakatingala pa din sakin si Cara, at nakakabaliw dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya.
I can feel that she's weighing things and trying to decide.
Pumikit siya at bumuntong hininga.
"Okay. I trust you, Cloud." With those words, I feel like I'm the f*****g luckiest man in the world.
"Thank you." Pumikit ako ng marahan at niyakap lang siya ng mahigpit.
"Will you kiss me now?" I heard her said against my chest and I know she's pouting her lips.
"Damn.."I chuckled then pulled her chin up just so her lips are merely an inch away from mine."You don't have to ask twice." then my lips touched hers and damn it felt like the first time, hell it always feels like the first time kissing her.
Pareho kaming humiwalay at naghabol ng hininga. Nagpapasalamat pa din ako na naputol yung halikan namin dahil baka hindi ko na makontrol ang sarili ko.
Kissing her is everything.
"Let's get you home, before I do something..not proper." I heard her giggle and it's f*****g sexy as hell.
"Okay Mr. Proper.." Tumalikod na siya sakin at binuksan na yung pinto ng kotse niya, I can hear her giggles.
"Pinagtatawanan mo ba ako?" I grinned then pulled her against me, my arm locked around her waist, the other one tucking away the hair that fell on her neck and leaned against it.
"Feel that?"She gasped when I pulled her closer against me.
"Oh my God." Her cheeks were suddenly flushed.
"That's right. That's how improper I feel whenever I'm with you. Only with you." I whispered against her neck.
It's the f*****g truth.
Despite my reputation, I have only gone as far as getting a blowjob na hindi naman natapos dahil sa sobrang kalasingan ko at nung--oh f**k it was that Sheila girl na hanggang ngayon ay umaaligid pa din sakin pag may practice sa gym. Ayoko ng i risk na baka may mabuntis ako o kaya naman ay mahawaan ng sakit kaya hanggang doon lang ako. I kiss, I make out, I grope but I don't practice s*x.
It will only complicate things.
Thank heavens I waited.
"You make me feel things too." She whispered, and I smiled at her shyness.
I turned Cara around to face me and looked at her lovingly.
"I am so f*****g lucky to have you." My fingers traced the lining of her lips and I saw her eyes closed. "Thank you for trusting me."I kissed her forehead avoiding her tempting lips.
Mahirap na baka hindi lang halik ang gawin ko sakanya. I respect her a lot. Hindi siya katulad ng iba na basta na lang ipinaparada ang katawan nila sa harap ko.
I love Cara--the other girls are just a phase. And I will only have my eyes for her magsimula ngayon.
"Please don't break my trust Cloud." I heard her whisper.
Tang ina.
............
- Writer
