Dating The Killer

Chapter 37

Beauty could take on two type of forms: natural and fake. The naturally beautiful ones were the ones who didn't overdo their makeup and even with casual attires, they still looked presentable, it was the natural beauty of God. As for the fake beauty, they were the ones who overdid their make up just to cover the pain on the inside, they were overdressed just to hold out the image of sanity in their hands with a fake smile.

Mrs. Christina clasped the heart-shaped diamond necklace around my neck, the item felt foreign on me as I gazed into the tall mirror with gloomy dimmed cerulean eyes that was covered by the smokey eyeshadow. "You look gorgeous, honey," she complimented me with a sad smile as my doleful smile remained.

I stared at myself for too long, wondering if my fake beauty would be enough to cover the pain at my dad's funeral.

How could I walk in black pumps to my dad's grave?

How could I smile as people share their condolences with me and pretended everything was okay?

It all felt wrong to me, the black silk dress that was elegant and classy seemed horrible on me and my freshly bandaged ankle could be seen from miles away would make people wonder if I was bullied in my new house.

My heavy heart hurt more when Levy hadn't supported me for these few days that went by, never once came inside and hugged me, all these days that I needed him the most. He thought creating a bridge between us could make me happier when I crossed alone.

Little did he knew that I tripped in between the steps that he created and fell into a deep ocean of hurt.

I tried not to show how bruised I was on the inside when these four days passed by like a breeze. In all these days, I would just sit down in front of the window and gaze out as people walked from dawn to night, as lights flickered on and off between the sidewalks to Forest Grove, Oregon.

Levy never once talked to me, he would just give me a glance and walked out to catch up with school, at least that was what came to my mind, either that or he was messing with fire again. All his promises seemed like bullshit to me as I spent these days in grief that I had nobody to share my sad constellations of stars with.

Realizing that I took Levy as someone to depend on was wrong of me, I was still in love with him, I was aching for him to stroke my hair and hold me in his arms in a much-needed embrace.

Stay strong Lia, all this would fade away eventually. My conscience was my only medium of comfort. Mrs. Christina tried to cheer me up too many times but I would just tell her that I was tired and needed to lay down. She gave me a somber smile and told me to get better.

As for my hallucinations, it worsened and I would wake up every night choking until Levy's mom barged in with a glass of water to save me, I refused the idea to go back to Dr. Alana, it was too much for me.

I didn't sleep at all but makeup had done a pretty good job in turning me into a happy statue.

"Are you ready, honey?" I could tell that Mrs. Christina didn't mean my expensive dress, the one she ordered for me and paid for, much to my disapproval.

"Maybe, I don't know," I exhaled after moments of taking a deep breath. I appeared like I was ready to go to a ball, not my dad's funeral.

They tried not to let me know that they paid for the extravagant funeral for dad but I knew about it when I heard Mrs. Christina talking to a worker over the phone about the payments.

Levy waited for us downstairs as his mom grasped my arm to help me as I stepped slowly on the stairs, making him look up before turning away. He tidied himself up with a black and white suit, showing his tall classical figure with slicked back, gelled obsidian-colored hair.

I was appreciative of the fact that he cared about my dad enough to attend since he had been ignoring me for four days, I could see the tiny improvements he made when those days fluttered by. He thought that I didn't, but I did when I would watch him from the window as he walked without putting a single cigarette into his lips and the way he didn't fight or got angry with his dad like he used to before.

Maybe it was an act he showed me since I wasn't there by his side, but for what it was worth, he put on a very good act of maturity.

I turned my eyes as I watched the deer walking to the lake when the car drove by the forest. Mr. Clay had to attend his company holding that started in Seattle, so Mrs. Christina stayed with me as she drove and Levy was beside her.

As usual, I was alone again as I played with the strings that were tied around the silky dress beside a bunch of roses that Mrs. Christina brought me to put on my dad's grave.

The woods were badly ruined by the storm as Mrs. Christina dodged the fallen trees and the agonized cracks on the grounds due to the aftermath of yesterday's last windstorm.

We arrived as people gathered, appearing like a bunch of ants within the distance as we walked to my dad's funeral, the priest showed himself once we entered the cemetery with graves all around me, making me uneasy that I disrupted their serenity to get to my father.

I didn't get to walk to my father anymore when another catastrophe happened as the bullet hit my shoulder.